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Month: May 2021

10 Fun Activities for Seniors

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Are you or an older loved one looking for ways to fill your days?

Staying socially, mentally, and physically active can help seniors maintain good mental and emotional health and reduce the risk of disease.

These 10 hobbies are perfect for seniors who like to keep busy and have fun.

 

1. Karaoke

Research shows singing can help with memory and orientation, especially in individuals with mild dementia.

If an outing to a karaoke bar seems a bit overwhelming, there are endless karaoke apps, games, and machines you can use at home. Karaoke is a great activity for all ages – perfect for visits with the grandkids!

 

2. Colour by numbers

Colouring or painting by numbers is an easy way to get creative and bring a picture to life. This can be a relaxing pastime to enjoy with your morning coffee or while watching TV.

Online colouring is another option if you have a computer or tablet.

 

3. Memories scrapbook and family tree

Take a trip down memory lane and put your time and love into a project you and your family can cherish for years to come.

Better yet, get the family involved and work on a memories scrapbook and family tree together – a lovely way to reminisce on good times.

 

4. Swimming

Swimming is an ideal way for seniors to get their daily physical activity in. It’s great for heart health and it’s easy on the joints. Not to mention, it can be incredibly relaxing.

You can enjoy doing some laps at your own pace or join a local water aerobics class – a great way to meet new people.

 

5. Brain games

Crosswords, Sudoku puzzles, word search puzzles and other brain games can help keep your problem-solving skills sharp while promoting mindfulness.

These can be found in book stores, newsagencies, and department stores, or you can do them online.

 

6. Nintendo Ring Fit or Wii Sports

You don’t have to be a tech genius to reap the benefits of gaming consoles. Nintendo Ring Fit and Wii Sports offer fun and easy games and activities that incorporate movement, making them a great way to do some exercise without leaving the living room.

You can set these games to your current exercise level and increase them as you feel stronger if you’d like a challenge.

 

7. Gardening

Several studies over the years have shown the many benefits being outdoors has our mental health.

Gardening is a great way to get some sunshine and fresh air. If your home doesn’t allow for a garden, why not grow some plants or tomatoes in pots?

 

8. Model building

Looking for a hands-on hobby? Plastic and wooden models come in kits of all sizes and assembly levels to suit all ages and abilities.

From vintage vehicles to iconic architecture, there are endless model building kits to get your hands on. This could be another activity to work on with family.

 

9. Birdwatching

Another great way to get outdoors, birdwatching can be enjoyed in national parks or on your local bushwalk. This handy guide lists some of the best spots to birdwatch in Queensland.

Make a day of it and pack a picnic!

 

10. Dance classes

Want to improve your strength and muscle function and have plenty of fun while doing it? Sign up to a dance class! You can join regular dance classes or find classes aimed specifically at older adults.

Dancing increases balance and flexibility, reducing the risk of injury. It’s also a great way to get out and meet new people.

 

RAQ offers a free Senior Social Connection Program (SSCP) to help older Queenslanders find community support groups and services and improve their social connections. Learn more here or call us on 1300 364 277. 

Worried about an elderly loved one? We list 10 ways you can help lonely seniors in this blog post.

What is PTSD?

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Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can develop after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event or ongoing traumatic events.

It’s only human to have intense reactions to traumatic incidents that threaten us or others – like death, a car accident, domestic violence, serious injury, or sexual abuse. Everyone responds differently to these shocking and overwhelming events, and some people can develop PTSD.

Research shows about 20% of people who are exposed to traumatic events develop PTSD, and about 12% of people living in Australia will experience PTSD in their lifetime.

We discuss some of the signs and symptoms of PTSD here, as well as where you can get help if you’re struggling.

 

Signs and Symptoms of PTSD

It’s important to remember that everyone responds differently to traumatic or unpleasant life events.

Someone with PTSD may encounter some or none of these symptoms, and experiencing one or more of these symptoms doesn’t necessarily mean you have PTSD.

While everyone’s experience is different, these are some of the common symptoms of PTSD:

  • Flashbacks (reliving the traumatic event as if it was happening again)
  • Intrusive thoughts/memories of the traumatic event
  • Dreams/nightmares about the traumatic event
  • Distress response to things that remind them of the traumatic event
  • Avoiding talking or thinking about the traumatic event
  • Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event
  • Negative thoughts about themselves, others, or the world
  • Hopelessness about the future
  • Difficulty maintaining close relationships
  • Feeling detached from family and friends
  • Lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed
  • Difficulty experiencing positive emotions
  • Emotional numbness
  • Feeling ‘jumpy’ or on guard for danger
  • Being easily startled or frightened
  • Self-destructive behaviours (e.g. drug and alcohol abuse or reckless driving)
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behaviour
  • Overwhelming guilt or shame.

 

Help for PTSD

If you or someone you know is living with PTSD, help is available. You can call us on 1300 364 277 to speak to a counsellor or get help finding the right service for you.

Advice for Single Parents

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According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 1 in 7 families (14.2%) in Australia are one-parent families.

Raising a child is one of the most difficult and rewarding things a person can do – and raising a child as a single parent can bring its own unique challenges. Without the support of a partner, single parents generally have a lot more to take on.

“There are many challenges parents face – and single parents do it all alone,” explains RAQ Regional Manager, Val Holden. “There’s often no one there to back them up on a difficult decision or what may be needed to discipline their child. A single parent can feel overwhelmed and very alone.”

Val offers some tips for single parents to help make the journey a little easier.

 

Respect your Co-Parent

If you have a co-parent or ex who is still in your child’s life, remember to keep any negative personal feelings aside. Keep your child’s best interests top of mind in every interaction.

“Always try to be respectful to your co-parent,” says Val. “Don’t put each other down, and support what the other parent says and needs. Honour the fact that your child needs a good relationship with both parents, and allow this to happen.”

Things may not have worked out between the two of you, but maintaining a civil co-parenting relationship is essential for your child’s wellbeing and stability.

We have more tips to co-parent in our article How to Make Joint Custody Work.

 

Look after Yourself

As a single parent, it can be easy to feel like your entire world and identity revolves around your child – but this can quickly lead to burnout.

Val reminds single parents to prioritise their self-care.

“Have down time, have your own friends, and do something good for yourself when you can,” she says.

“It’s like when you go on a plane and the air hostess says to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you attend to your child or anyone else. The same rule applies here; you need to look after yourself so you can look after your children.”

If you’re having a hard time, talking to a professional counsellor can help. You can learn more about our counselling service here, or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

 

Ask for Help

“Always seek help when you need it,” Val urges. “You’re the most important person in your child’s life, and you need to be in a safe and good space, too – so seek help for yourself when you need to.”

Don’t be afraid to accept help when offered, and actively seek help from friends, family, parenting groups, and counselling.

You can learn more about our counselling service here, or call 1300 364 277 to book an appointment in person, over the phone, or via Zoom video call.

What is Gender-Based Violence?

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Domestic and family violence can happen to anyone – men, women, and children – and it is never OK.

Regardless of gender, no one deserves to experience any type of abuse from a partner, and everyone has the right to feel safe in their home.

But violence against women perpetrated by men is a particularly serious and widespread problem in Australia.

Many girls and women in Australia live in fear of physical, sexual and emotional violence in the streets, at school, at work, on social media, and in their homes. Statistics show that because of their gender, females have a higher risk of domestic violence in all its forms – not just in Australia, but all over the world.

The United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women defines ‘violence against women’ as:

“Any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life.”

We look at the prevalence of violence against women in Australia and what you can do to stand up against gendered-based violence, starting in your social circles.

 

Violence against Women in Australia

  • On average, 1 woman a week is murdered by a current or former partner, compared to 1 man a month.
  • 1 in 6 women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by a current or former partner, compared to 1 in 16 men.
  • 1 in 5 women have been sexually assaulted and/or threatened since age 15, compared to 1 in 20 men.
  • 72,000 women sought homelessness services due to domestic violence in 2016-17, compared to 9,000 men.
  • In 2014–15, on average, almost 8 women were hospitalised each day after being assaulted by their spouse or partner, compared to almost 2 men each day.
  • Almost 1 in 4 women have experienced emotional abuse from a current or previous partner since the age of 15, compared to 1 in 6 men.
  • In 2016, on average, police recorded 52 sexual assaults each day against women, compared to about 11 against men each day.
  • Intimate partner violence is the greatest risk factor for women aged 25-44.

These are some key findings from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare’s report ‘Family, Domestic and Sexual Violence in Australia, 2018.’ You can view the full report here.

 

How to Stand Up Against Gendered Violence

Violence against women in Australia is preventable, and it starts with our everyday interactions.

Social problems like sexist attitudes, gendered stereotypes, and objectification can all lead to gendered violence.

Small things like pulling a friend up on a sexist joke or catcall can help. It might be uncomfortable at first, but letting the people around you know that you don’t support those kinds of behaviours can make them stop and think twice about what they’re doing.

This pyramid of gendered violence shows how sexist attitudes can lead to escalating levels of abuse:

Sexual Violence Pyramid

 

Where to Get Support

If you or someone you know is living with domestic and family violence, help is available. You can call us on 1300 364 277 for guidance finding the right support for you, or learn about our Domestic and Family Violence Prevention service here.

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811

DVConnect Mensline: 1800 600 636

Sexual Assault Helpline: 1800 010 120

Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800

Lifeline: 13 11 14

If you believe you or your children are in immediate danger, please call 000.

How to Get Out of an Abusive Relationship

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No one deserves to live with abuse. But if you’re a victim of domestic and family violence, you know that leaving the relationship isn’t as simple as it sounds.

It’s not always safe to leave an abusive relationship. In fact, the time leading up to and just after leaving is often the most dangerous for a victim of abuse. Telling the abuser the relationship is over can lead to an increase in violence.

It’s also important to remember that on average, it can take seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship before getting out for good.

If you’re considering whether to stay or go, you might be feeling confused and torn about your decision. You might be hoping your partner will change, or maybe you’re worried about how they will react if you try to leave.

These are normal concerns that can keep victims in abusive relationships. But while it can be easy to feel trapped by these feelings, your safety is the only thing that matters.

Here are some suggestions to consider if you’re thinking about leaving an abusive relationship.

 

Create a support network

Many people experiencing domestic and family violence feel embarrassed or ashamed about their situation. They may not want their friends and family to know about the abuse.

But it’s important to confide in at least one person so they can provide support and potentially be a witness. You don’t have to cope on your own, and help from a loved one can make things a little easier.

There are also services out there to support you. Finding one that meets your needs can be very helpful during this time.

 

Organise a code word

Create a code word or signal with your children, neighbour, friends, family or colleague that means you’re in danger and they should call the police. This could be anything from a hand gesture to a particular word or even an emoji.

 

Gather evidence

Try to keep a record of the abuse somewhere secret. This may be helpful if you choose to press charges in the future. If you can, take photos of physical evidence of violence, such as bruises and cuts, or holes in walls.

 

Find local support services

Research support services that might be able to help you if you choose to leave. This might include emergency housing, counselling, and free legal advice. Keep these contacts somewhere safe, or ask a trusted friend to hold onto them for you.

Relationships Australia QLD can help you find relevant support services in your area. Call us on 1300 364 277 for advice and referrals.

 

Make an escape plan

Leaving an abusive relationship often takes a lot of planning, courage and support. Having an escape plan prepared in advance can help you leave quickly if things become unsafe.

Your escape plan should include the who, what, where, when and how. How would you leave the home? When would be the safest time to do so? Where would you go? Who would be involved?

It can help to create your plan with a friend so they know how they can help. For example, you might plan to call them with your code word and have them pick you up from behind your house. It can also help to practise your escape plan so you know exactly what you’d do.

If children are involved, it’s important to think about how to safely include them in the escape plan, or if they should develop their own.

We talk more about how to make a domestic violence escape plan in this blog post.

 

Have a ‘go bag’ ready

A ‘go bag’ or escape bag should contain essentials you’ll need to take with you if you have to leave in a hurry. If you can’t keep this bag hidden at home, ask a loved one or neighbour to hold onto it for you.

Your go bag might contain:

  • Money
  • Spare keys
  • Phone charger
  • Clothes for you and children (if applicable)
  • Essential toiletries (e.g. toothpaste, toothbrush, sanitary items)
  • Medications and prescriptions
  • Passport and licence (or copies)
  • Contact numbers (e.g. friends, family, support services)
  • Copies of important documents (e.g. birth certificates)

If you need support making a safety plan or escape bag checklist, call us on 1300 364 277.

 

Protect your privacy online

Some perpetrators of domestic and family abuse will use technology and the internet to continue to stalk, harass, and abuse their victim once they’ve left the relationship.

You can protect your online safety with these tips:

  • Disable location services on your phone and computer
  • Ensure your social media accounts are set to ‘private’
  • Don’t ‘check in’ to places and venues on social media
  • Avoid downloading apps that track your location or contacts
  • Enable Bluetooth only when needed and ‘remove’ paired devices when you’re not using them
  • Avoid posting content online that may put you or your children at risk, such as revealing where you go and what you do together.

Learn more in our article Keeping Yourself Safe Online.

 

Helpful Contacts

If you or someone you know is living with domestic and family violence, help is available. You can call us on 1300 364 277 for guidance finding the right support for you, or learn about our Domestic and Family Violence Prevention service here.

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811

DVConnect Mensline: 1800 600 636

Sexual Assault Helpline: 1800 010 120

Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800

Lifeline: 13 11 14

If you believe you or your children are in immediate danger, please call 000.

What to do When Your Relationship is in a Rut

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There can come a time in even the happiest relationships where things feel a little… meh.

Whether you’ve been together for a while or you’re simply stuck in the same old routine, it’s normal to feel the excitement slip away from time to time.

The good news is that with just a little effort, you can reignite that spark and add some fun back to your relationship.

Try these tips if your relationship or marriage is in a rut.

 

Plan something exciting together

Sometimes the planning and anticipation of something can be just as fun as the thing itself!

Planning something like a holiday, party, or renovations will provide an opportunity to collaborate and spend more time together. It’ll also give you something positive to look forward to and share excitement in.

Top tip: Ask your partner plenty of questions and allow them to share their big ideas – and don’t be shy to share yours! This is a great chance to learn more about each other and yourself.

 

Book an extra special date night

Forget dinner and a movie; a relationship rut calls for a bit of novelty to mix things up.

Go the extra mile and surprise your partner with something a little out of the ordinary. Some original date ideas might include:

  • Go horse riding
  • Visit a games arcade
  • Rock out at a concert
  • Race at a go-kart track
  • Catch a stand-up comedy show
  • Enjoy a winery or brewery tour
  • Take a cooking or dancing lesson.

Top tip: On a budget? No worries! Try one of our fun and affordable date ideas (think backyard picnic, games night, and silent disco) in this blog post.

 

Create a bucket list together

Sometimes we can be so focused on our day-to-day responsibilities that we forget to daydream about the future.

Creating a bucket list together is a great way to look at the big picture and inspire some deep conversations about your hopes and dreams in life. It’s also a great way to confirm you’re on the same page about what’s important for your future.

Top tip: It can help with brainstorming to break your bucket list into categories (e.g. travel, career, creativity, relationships).

 

Compete against each other

There’s nothing like some friendly competition to add some excitement to your dynamic. Some couples even say playing against each other in videogames and sports can be a fun form of flirting!

Some sports or activities to compete in might include:

  • Tennis
  • Mini golf
  • Darts
  • Bowling
  • Videogames
  • Board games.

Top tip: Mix things up and invite friends to play doubles/teams!

 

Kick screens out of the bedroom

Pillow talk and intimacy can take a backseat when Netflix rules the room.

If you get stuck bingeing your favourite series or scrolling on your phone at night, it might be worth implementing a no-screens rule in the bedroom.

You might find you have more time for each other at the end of the day than you thought.

Top tip: If you simply can’t live without your TV and devices in the bedroom, introduce a time limit instead. For example, you might agree to switch off your screens at 8pm.

For more ideas, check out our article 10 Ways to Add Excitement to a Long-Term Relationship.

Why do People Stay in Abusive Relationships?

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It can be devastating to see a loved one in an unsafe relationship. It can also be difficult for an outsider to understand why a victim of domestic and family violence doesn’t leave the relationship.

Abusive relationships can be complicated – especially if kids are involved. It’s not always safe for a victim to leave their abuser.

In fact, the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic abuse is right after they’ve left their abuser. They can put themselves and their children at serious risk.

It can take a lot of time, planning, support, and courage for someone to escape an abusive relationship. And even if someone does choose to leave, there’s a chance they may return.

On average, it takes someone seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship before they get out for good.

It’s important to keep this in mind if you’re upset with yourself for returning, or if you’re becoming frustrated with the ‘back and forth’ of someone you know who is living with abuse. With continued patience and support, the victim may grow more confident in their decision to leave.

There are many reasons why someone might stay in an abusive relationship, such as:

  • They may be embarrassed or ashamed to tell friends/family about the abuse
  • They and their children may depend on their partner financially
  • They may have a disability and depend on their partner physically
  • They may be afraid of coping on their own
  • They may blame themselves for the abuse
  • They may have damaged self-worth and think they deserve the abuse
  • They may have grown up witnessing abuse and thinking it’s normal
  • They may have emotional ties to the abuser and hope the abuser will change
  • They may be worried about where they and their kids will live
  • They may not know their legal rights
  • They may be worried about child custody arrangements
  • They may want their children to grow up with both parents
  • They may be receiving pressure from their family or community to stay in the relationship
  • They may not know about the available support and resources that can help
  • They may be afraid their abuser will become violent toward them, their kids or their pets if they try to leave.

These are just some of the reasons someone might stay in an abusive relationship. It’s important to remember that it’s not always safe for someone to leave their abuser.

If you know someone living with domestic violence, avoid passing judgement or pressuring them to leave. You can provide support by letting them know you’re there for them, checking in on them regularly, and offering a safe place for them to stay if they do choose to leave.

Discover more ways to help someone living with domestic and family violence in this blog post.

 

Where to Get Support

If you or someone you know is living with domestic and family violence, help is available. You can call us on 1300 364 277 for guidance finding the right support for you, or learn about our Domestic and Family Violence Prevention service here.

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811

DVConnect Mensline: 1800 600 636

Sexual Assault Helpline: 1800 010 120

Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800

Lifeline: 13 11 14

If you believe you or your children are in immediate danger, please call 000.

Signs of Domestic Violence in Children

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Symptoms associated with children’s exposure to violence can be hard to spot. Child abuse and neglect isn’t just about bruises and other visible marks. Nonphysical abuse can be just as damaging for a child, as can witnessing abuse between other members of the home.

Experiencing and/or witnessing domestic and family abuse can seriously harm a child’s health, development and dignity. Every child from an abusive home is abused, whether the abuse is directly targeted at them or not.

RAQ Clinical Supervisor Karen Marshall explains, “Friction or conflict between parents/caregivers can contribute considerably to anxiety in children.”

We list some of the signs of domestic violence in children of all ages and how to report child abuse here.

It’s important to remember that all children and young people develop differently and may display one or all of the following signs without being exposed to domestic abuse. Some may have other reasons for these behaviours, and for some, there will be no reason at all.

It’s also important to note that not all children in an abusive home environment will necessarily show all or any of these signs. This is why some cases of child abuse can go undetected.

Call 000 if you believe a child is in immediate danger or in a life-threatening situation.

 

Infants

  • Irritability
  • Crying
  • Frequently ill
  • Poor muscle tone or prominent joints/bones
  • Poor hygiene
  • Difficulty sleeping and/or staying asleep

 

Toddlers

  • Aggression
  • Withdrawal
  • Delayed development
  • Poor motor skills
  • Poor hygiene
  • Anxiety/fearfulness
  • Stomach aches and headaches
  • Nightmares
  • Difficulty sleeping or staying asleep
  • Lack of bladder/bowel control
  • Lack of confidence to try new things

 

School Age

  • Aggression/bullying
  • Anxiety/fearfulness
  • Poor hygiene
  • Stomach aches/digestive problems
  • Headaches
  • Nightmares
  • Lack of bowel/bladder control
  • Poor grades
  • Low self-esteem
  • Poor social skills
  • Fear of abandonment
  • Frequent illness
  • Frequently missing school

 

Teenagers

  • Withdrawal/isolation
  • Nightmares
  • Lack of bowel/bladder control
  • Poor grades
  • Headaches and ulcers
  • Violent outbursts
  • Property destruction
  • Frequently missing school
  • Frequently running away
  • Difficulty expressing feelings
  • Avoids bringing friends home
  • Low self-esteem

 

How to Report Child Abuse

Call 000 if you believe a child is in immediate danger or in a life-threatening situation.

If you suspect a child is experiencing or at risk of abuse in Queensland, contact:

  • A Regional Intake Service (Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm)
  • The Child Safety After-Hours Service Centre: 1800 177 135

If the child is outside Queensland, please contact the relevant state or territory agency.

When reporting concerns for a child’s safety, you’ll be asked to provide information to help officers determine how best to respond. You should still call even if you don’t have all the information.

The information includes:

  • Details about the child or young person (e.g. name, age, address)
  • Details about the parents/caregivers/other relevant persons
  • Reasons you suspect the child may have experienced or is at risk of experiencing harm
  • Whether or not they have support
  • The immediate risk to the child or young person
  • Contact details for the family.

You have the option to make the report anonymously. If you wish to provide your details, rest assured they are kept confidential.

Learn more about how to report child abuse in Queensland here.

You can call Relationships Australia QLD on 1300 364 277 for guidance finding the right support or contacts, or learn about our Domestic and Family Violence Prevention service here.