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Month: September 2023

How should I vote on The Voice? Advice for Allies

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The Voice referendum will take place on 14 October, when Australians will vote yes or no to establishing a First Nations Voice in the Constitution. 

There are many opinions being shared about The Voice in the media, including misinformation intended to scare and divide us. 

As an ally to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples, you may be feeling confused about how to vote. 

This is an important and historic decision, and one that will be made by the non-First Nations majority on behalf of First Nations Peoples – just 3% of the Australian population. 

Now more than ever, First Nations Peoples need their allies to be educated and informed, putting the best interests of First Nations communities first. But what vote is in the best interests of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples? 

We offer some advice for allies here. 

 

Listen to First Nations Voices 

The media is a minefield of strong opinions and feelings around The Voice, and unfortunately, many conversations aren’t considering the very people this referendum impacts the most. 

It’s of critical importance to put First Nations voices and perspectives first when it comes to The Voice and all First Nations issues. 

Consider First Nations experiences by seeking these conversations in your local communities and via credible First Nations resources, such as this Voice video explainer by Aboriginal executives who advise on First Nations issues. 

It’s also important to take a step back and allow First Nations Peoples to speak for themselves. Being a genuine ally means amplifying First Nations voices, believing their experiences, and not assuming where they stand on The Voice. 

Everyone has their own opinions, including First Nations individuals, and it’s unrealistic to expect 100% of First Nations Peoples to support The Voice._However, an overwhelming majority do. 

97%_of the First Nations delegates at the Uluru National Convention supported a call for a constitutional Voice through The Uluru Statement from The Heart. 

And polls show over 80% of First Nations Australians are in favour of The Voice. 

We encourage you to prioritise First Nations voices when determining your vote, as we have done as an organisation. 

RAQ has listened to our First Nations staff members as they’ve generously shared their unique perspectives, leading us to a position in favour of a Voice to Parliament. 

 

Respect the Impact on First Nations Peoples 

While it’s important to seek First Nations Peoples’ perspectives, we also need to remember that it can be tiring for First Nations Peoples to constantly advocate for their communities. 

Being the subject of such strong political opinions may be stressful and traumatic for some First Nations Peoples, and repeating experiences and wisdom can be emotionally draining. 

It’s not First Nations Peoples’ responsibility to educate us; we need to take responsibility and do our own research into The Voice and this country’s True history. 

It’s already taken a lot of heavy lifting from First Nations Peoples, Elders, and Leaders to get The Voice conversation to this national level. 

Acknowledge the impact this journey may have had on some First Nations Peoples. Respect people’s boundaries if they don’t want to talk about The Voice. You might even like to check in with them and ask, “Are you in the headspace to talk about this?” before approaching the topic. 

And remember, just because someone identifies as Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander, it doesn’t mean they have strong feelings on The Voice. 

We share more advice to be respectful of First Nations Peoples during The Voice debate in this blog post: Respect During the Referendum | Relationships Australia Qld (raq.org.au) 

 

Consider the Best Interests of First Nations Peoples 

As the Queensland Human Rights Commission has stated: 

“A Voice to Parliament is consistent with international human rights standards and would provide for better human rights protections by promoting equality and self-determination for First Nations Peoples.” 

RAQ has no political or religious allegiances and stands for the inclusion, equity, social justice, and human rights of all Queenslanders. We and our First Nations Workforce stand strongly in our support for The Voice to Parliament, and we see this not as a political issue, but as a human rights issue. 

We encourage allies – and all Australians – to consider the best interests and human rights of First Nations Peoples when determining their vote on 14 October. 

 

Support Services 

We understand this topic may raise difficult emotions for some people. Help is available. 

RAQ offers culturally safe counselling and support services for First Nations Peoples. You can call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment or get help finding the right support for you. 

For 24/7 crisis support, call 13YARN on 13 92 76 to talk with an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander Crisis Supporter. 

No campaigners are spreading false information and half-truths to create confusion, fear, and division in the lead-up to the referendum. We explore more here: The Voice: Misinformation, Truth-Telling, and Healing Together. 

How to Help an Older Person You’re Worried About

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Noticing a senior express signs of depression, anxiety, or possible abuse is never easy.

10 – 15% of older Australians experience depression or anxiety, while one in six older Australians report experiencing elder abuse.

If you’re wondering how to help an older person who seems to be struggling emotionally, it is possible to show that you’re there for them while encouraging them to access professional support.

We offer some advice on helping an elderly person you’re worried about.

 

Let them know you’re concerned

Gently share your concerns and let them know that you’re here for them.

Speak to them in a safe environment where there is enough time for them to talk. Listen actively without criticising.

Here is a guide on talking to an older person you’re worried about.

 

Reassure them

Older people can often feel shame and sadness when experiencing a situation like elder abuse.

Reassure them that their feelings are nothing to be ashamed of. Whether they are experiencing anxiety, depression, or abuse, it is not their fault.

 

Be compassionate

Put yourself in the shoes of your older loved one. If you were in this situation, what would you do? How might you feel? What kind of support would you want from your loved ones?

Responding with empathy and compassion will help build trust and a sense of safety. Having a loved one listen and validate their feelings might be just what your older loved one needs to move forward.

 

Encourage professional support

Research shows that over half of older adults do not seek psychological help because they believe their symptoms are normal.

Let them know that professional support is out there and off help to access support services online and via phone.

 

Offer practical support

When someone is going through a hard time, even practical support can make a huge difference.

Here are some practical ways you can help an older person you’re worried about:

  • Check in regularly
  • Invite them to activities
  • Drive them to appointments
  • Help get them out of the house
  • Offer to do their grocery shopping.

 

Spend time with them

Social isolation is a major cause of poor physical and mental health in seniors.

Spending time with an older person you’re worried about can be extremely beneficial for them.

You can spend time with an older person by:

  • Going for a walk
  • Regular phone calls
  • Watching the sunset
  • Sharing music together
  • Making or having dinner together
  • Playing board games, card games, or doing puzzles.

 

Connect them with the community

Research supports that seniors who stay connected within their community are at lower risk for anxiety and depression. They are also less vulnerable to experiencing elder abuse.

An older person can connect with the community through:

 

 

If you or an older person you know may be a victim of elder abuse, our experienced counsellors are here to help. We can help you explore your concerns and possible solutions in a safe and supportive environment.

 

You can learn more about our Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service here, or call 1300 063 232.

 

 

Want to receive updates on our Senior Relationship Services blog posts?

The Dos and Don’ts of Dating a Bisexual

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Navigating any new romantic relationship can be an exciting yet delicate dance.

But dating someone who is attracted to multiple genders can raise some unique questions or insecurities – particularly for people who aren’t part of the LGBTQIA+ communities themselves.

This Bisexual Awareness Week (16-23 September), we’d like to offer some advice for dating someone who identifies as bisexual to help you nurture a healthy and respectful relationship.

Here are some important dos and don’ts of dating a bisexual or pansexual.

 

Do: Take time to learn about the community

Make an effort to learn about the bisexual community as well as all the LGBTQIA+ communities.

Educate yourself on important things like respectful terminology, culture, and issues faced today and historically.

Learn about biphobia and bi-erasure, and support your partner to share their experience and express their identity.

Remember: Just as not all straight people are the same, neither are all bisexuals. The best way to learn about your partner is to ask questions – just be mindful of being respectful and avoiding biphobic stereotypes (more on that below).

Organisations like Minus18 and LGBTIQA+ Health Australia have some great resources to help you learn more about bisexuality and the LGBTQIA+ communities.

 

Don’t: Ask biphobic or invalidating questions

While it’s fine (and encouraged) to be curious and ask questions, there are some questions and assumptions that can be biphobic and offensive.

For example, don’t ask your partner “Which gender do you prefer?” or “Is it just a phase?”. These can reinforce unhelpful stereotypes and make your partner feel invalidated and misunderstood.

Some individuals who identify as bisexual can feel like they don’t quite belong in the queer community, especially if they’re in a traditional heterosexual relationship.

Be mindful to avoid harmful stereotypes and understand and affirm your partner’s sexuality.

We offer tips to be a good listener in this blog post.

 

Do: Be a genuine ally

While someone’s sexual identity shouldn’t define them, it can still be a large part of who they are and have a significant impact on how they experience the world around them. Your active support and allyship can be incredibly affirming and important for your partner.

Along with learning more about the bisexual community, make an effort to be vocal and visible in your support for LGBTQIA+ folks and their rights.

Pay attention to what’s happening in the news and offer to join your partner at LGBTQIA+ events and rallies. FYI: The bisexual flag is pink, purple, and blue!

 

Don’t: Assume your relationship defines their sexuality

No, bisexual people don’t magically become straight when they’re in a relationship with a heterosexual partner.

Your relationship status does not change your sexuality. Assuming your relationship defines your partner’s sexuality rejects a huge part of their identity and their past, and falls into that bucket of biphobia/bi-erasure.

Respect your partner’s bisexuality as part of their identity regardless of your relationship.

 

Do: Trust them as you would any other partner

A common harmful myth about people who are attracted to more than one gender is that they are more likely to cheat because their dating pool is larger.

Bisexual or pansexual people are no more likely to cheat on you than anyone else.

Just because your partner is attracted to multiple genders doesn’t mean they’re attracted to everyone, or that they’re going to be unfaithful or wish for a polyamorous relationship.

If you’ve agreed to a monogamous relationship, trust your partner as you would any other partner.

Remember to communicate any insecurities or concerns with your partner respectfully, and don’t make assumptions about how they feel based on their sexuality.

Keep in mind that excessive jealousy and constant accusations of cheating in a relationship can be forms of coercive control.

At the end of the day, dating someone who is bisexual or pansexual should involve the same level of respect, trust, love, and support as dating anyone else.

Approach the relationship with an open mind and an open heart, and remember that your partner chose to be with you over anyone else – so you must be pretty special!

If you’re having a tough time in your relationship, talking to a counsellor can help you explore your feelings and potential coping strategies. Learn more about our counselling services or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

If you found this blog post helpful, you might enjoy our tips to bring out the best in your partner.

How to Throw a Block Party

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Do you know your neighbours?

Having a positive relationship with your neighbours can increase security and provide access to resources and support when needed.

You don’t have to be best friends with your neighbours, but making an effort to meet them and develop mutual respect can make for a more peaceful and positive living environment.

Neighbourhood block parties or street parties are a great way to get to know your neighbours better and build a sense of community.

Here are some key steps to hosting a successful block party in your neighbourhood.

 

Choose a date with plenty of notice

It can be tough to find a date that works for everyone, but choosing a date well in advance can give people enough notice to organise their schedules and increase attendance.

It can also give you plenty of time to organise the event – especially if you require public liability, insurance, and a road closure.

Be mindful of holidays and days of observation when choosing the date for your block party to ensure as many people as possible can attend. For example, your neighbours may already have plans around holidays like ANZAC Day, Easter, and Christmas.

 

Apply for insurance and a road closure

While you can host a neighbourhood party on your front lawn or spread across a few front lawns, closing off your street can make for a fun and novel (and safe) event – especially for kids on bikes and scooters!

It’s also not uncommon to host a neighbourhood party at your house. However, hosting it on your street can feel like a more casual, neutral setting for an event with new people.

Depending on your local area, the process for this will look a little something like this:

1. Apply for public liability and insurance

Public liability and insurance protect you and anyone else if they suffer an injury or damage occurs.

You might like to ask attending neighbours to contribute to the fees involved. Some local councils will even reimburse you after your party.

You can go to Local Community Insurance Services to learn more and apply for your public liability and insurance.

2. Apply for a road closure

You can generally apply for a temporary road closure online with your local council. Most councils don’t charge to close the road, but they do require proof of public liability and insurance, so don’t skip the first step.

You may be required to pay a small hire fee for road closure signs, or you may be able to purchase them yourself for a lower price.

 

Ask each household to bring a dish

Chances are your neighbours will offer to help with the organising, and asking for a hand with the food is a great way to lighten your load.

Having each household bring a dish to share can serve as a conversation-starter, especially if your neighbours identify with different cultures.

This can also be a great way to ensure everyone’s dietary requirements are met. You may even like to ask attendees to label their food and specify whether they contain any common allergens or meet certain dietary requirements.

 

Make a family-friendly playlist

Music is a must when it comes to creating a party atmosphere (and to fill any potential awkward silences).

Aim to create a playlist of crowd-pleasers that most people can enjoy, and avoid anything with swearing or adult themes. You can make your own or browse existing playlists on Spotify or YouTube.

Remember to keep the volume low enough that people can talk without raising their voices.

 

Consider activities to break the ice

Meeting new people can be overwhelming for some people.

Having some casual activities like classic lawn games can give attendees something to focus on and help create a point of conversation. This can take the pressure off when small talk runs dry, and it’s also a great way to keep kids entertained.

 

If you struggle in social settings, talking to a counsellor can help you explore your feelings and potential strategies. Learn more about our counselling services or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

We offer more ways to create a sense of community in your neighbourhood in this blog post.

The Voice to Parliament is a Matter of Human Rights

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By CEO Natasha Rae

The Voice to Parliament has been approached with the standard debates and misinformation of most political issues. But in this case, a Voice is not a political issue – it’s a human rights issue.

A First Nations Voice wouldn’t stand to create division, empower one side of politics over another, or tilt the balance of democracy. It would stand as a nonpartisan body that represents the interests of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples. 

The United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples – endorsed by Australia in 2009 – recognises that Indigenous Peoples should have the right to participate in decision-making in matters that would affect their rights. Equally, governments should consult with Indigenous Peoples before making laws that affect them. 

Australia has acknowledged the rights of First Nations Peoples in both domestic and international law for decades. These rights include the right to self-determination, representation and self-governance, participation in decisions that directly impact them, and freedom from racial discrimination. 

The Voice is an important tool for upholding these rights and improving outcomes for First Nations Peoples. 

For too long, laws and policies have been created without the consultation and agreement of First Nations Peoples, resulting in systems and structures that are harmful and ineffective. 

First Nations Peoples and their Elders and Leaders maintain resistance to oppression while unwilling to incur greater losses. They strive to maintain cultural integrity and find ways to work together to transform structures and mindsets to experience more than just survival. 

First Nations Peoples have contributed to the building blocks and history of our economic and social system. Yet, this same system has caused the vast majority of First Nations Peoples to remain outside of opportunities afforded to other Australians. 

The most essential role of laws is to serve the rights, safety, opportunities, and interests of those they apply to. Unfortunately, laws created without proper representation can so often do the opposite. 

Throughout Australian history, a lack of representation and input has contributed to many laws that have had devastating impacts on First Nations communities; impacts that have caused ongoing generational trauma and pain felt throughout First Nations communities today. 

A First Nations Voice to Parliament protected by the Constitution is a crucial step toward addressing this harm for a fairer and more healing future. 

International guidance shows establishing representative systems to allow First Nations Peoples to advise on decisions that impact them is consistent with international law and international human rights standards. 

As the Prime Minister highlighted in a recent radio interview, Australia is the only colony or former colony on earth that doesn’t recognise our First Peoples in our founding document. 

A Voice to Parliament is our opportunity to do that after 122 years. 

RAQ stands firmly for the inclusion, equity, social justice, and human rights of all, regardless of age, race, culture, sexual orientation, or gender identity. We have no religious or political allegiances and respect the rights of everyone to live with dignity and safety. 

This is why we stand in favour of enshrining a Voice to Parliament – and why many other organisations who share our values also support The Voice, such as Lifeline and Multicultural Australia. 

The Queensland Human Rights Commission has also released a statement in support of establishing a First Nations Voice to Parliament, saying: 

“A Voice to Parliament is consistent with international human rights standards, and would provide for better human rights protections by promoting equality and self-determination for First Nations people.”

Reconciliation Australia announced a union of 70 for-profit and not-for-profit organisations have shown their unified support for a “yes” vote in the Referendum, including some of the country’s biggest corporations.

The variety of organisations supporting The Voice to Parliament shows this transcends political perspectives. 

It’s a human right for First Nations Peoples to have a say in the matters that impact them. 

It’s crucial that we keep the best interests and rights of First Nations Peoples top of mind when determining our vote in the referendum on 14 October. 

And it’s crucial that we understand how a future without a First Nations Voice will continue to impact this country’s – and the world’s – oldest living culture. 

 

We understand this topic and related conversations may raise difficult emotions for some people. Help is available._ 

RAQ offers culturally safe_counselling_and support services for First Nations Peoples. You can call_1300 364 277_to make an appointment or get help finding the right support for you._ 

For 24/7 crisis support, call Lifeline on_13 11 14, or_13YARN_on_13 92 76_to talk with an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander Crisis Supporter. 

You can read the Statement from RAQ’s First Nations Employees on The Voice Referendum here.

How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health

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Parents and carers play an important role in promoting positive mental health and wellbeing in children.

Research shows approximately 1 in 7 children and adolescents aged 4–17 years in Australia experience mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression.

With the prevalence of mental illness in our young ones, it’s never too early to start focusing on your child’s mental health.

Some factors that may impact a child or young person’s mental health include:

  • Family dynamics
  • A relationship breakup
  • Bullying and cyberbullying
  • Family history of mental illness
  • Low self-esteem and/or body image issues
  • Pressure around school, exams, and the future
  • Big life changes (e.g. parents separating, moving school or home)
  • Traumatic events (e.g. natural disaster, experiencing or witnessing abuse, losing someone close to them).

Adverse mental health can have a significant impact on a child’s development, learning, social inclusion, family life, and physical health.

We share some ways to help support your child’s mental health and how to spot the signs they may need some extra support.

 

Encourage open communication about feelings

Talking about feelings from a young age can help your child recognise and label their emotions – a powerful tool that can help them better understand and regulate them in healthy ways.

Encourage your child to share how they’re feeling and provide validation and support. Telling them to stop crying or to get over it can lead to feelings of shame around their emotions and teach them it’s not safe to express themselves around you.

Try to remember that your child isn’t giving you a hard time – they’re having a hard time.

Some validating statements might include:

  • “It’s OK to cry.”
  • “That sounds really stressful.”
  • “How can I help you feel better?”
  • “I understand why you’re upset.”
  • “I can see that made you feel sad.”
  • “What might make you feel better?”

Validating your child’s feelings will make them feel supported and strengthen the trust in your relationship.

It also tells them you’re a safe space and they can come to you when they’re having a hard time or need advice. This sets the foundation for a strong, close relationship as they grow into an adult.

 

Support a healthy lifestyle

Physical health and mental health are closely connected, and a healthy lifestyle and home environment can be a crucial foundation for positive mental health and wellbeing.

Some factors that can help support a healthy lifestyle include:

  • Getting enough sleep
  • Getting daily exercise
  • Eating a balanced diet
  • Spending time outdoors
  • Avoiding caffeine and substances
  • Spending time with friends and family
  • Doing the hobbies and activities they enjoy
  • Having time to rest and relax to balance school and other obligations.

It’s important to remember that different children have different needs. For example, one child may need quiet alone time to feel calm and happy, while another may prefer to spend time socialising.

Make the effort to learn what lifestyle factors and habits best support your child’s wellbeing, and pay attention to their moods and behaviours.

 

Model healthy coping skills

Do you find it hard to regulate your emotions sometimes? Imagine how much harder it can be for children.

One of the best ways to help kids deal with big feelings is to show them how you stay calm in stressful or upsetting situations yourself.

Modelling healthy coping strategies to your child from a young age teaches them that it’s OK to feel angry, sad, frustrated, and disappointed, but it’s important that we try to process and express these feelings in healthy ways.

This might look like:

  • Breathing exercises – “I’m feeling a bit stressed out because of all the traffic. I’m going to take three big, deep breaths to help me feel calm.”
  • Mindful walking – “I’ve had a big day today. I’m going to go for a quiet walk to clear my head.”
  • Journalling – “My mind feels a bit busy. I’m going to write down my worries to get them out of my head and help me make a plan.”
  • Dancing – “Dancing makes me happy, so I’m going to put on my favourite song and move my body to get some positive energy going.”
  • Walking away – “I’m feeling upset right now, so I’m going to walk away until I feel calm enough to talk about it respectfully.”

Your strategies may change based on your child’s age, but these are some examples of coping skills your child may be able to adopt for themselves.

 

Let them know they’re loved and supported

Positive words of affirmation can help increase your child’s confidence, build resilience, and encourage positive self-talk.

Remind them often that you love them, you’re proud of them, and you’re there for them.

Find specific qualities and personality traits to compliment. Whether it’s their big imagination, kindness, or sense of humour, calling out specific things you love about them will make them feel extra special and appreciated.

You can do this by telling them in person or getting creative with a surprise note in their lunchbox or on their pillow.

 

Keep an eye out for changes in behaviour

Paying close attention to your child’s moods and behaviours can help you pick up on cues they may be struggling mentally – whether they verbalise those feelings or not.

It’s important to remember not everyone who has anxiety will experience the same symptoms, but these are just some common symptoms of anxiety in children:

  • Crying often
  • Changes in eating
  • Using the toilet often
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Irritability and outbursts
  • Rapid breathing or heartbeat
  • Being tired for no real reason
  • Restlessness, fidgeting, or shakiness
  • Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
  • Complaining of tummy aches and feeling sick
  • Being clingy or worrying about abandonment
  • Constantly worrying or having negative thoughts
  • Regression (denying ability to do tasks they normally can).

If you notice these signs in your child, it might help to seek professional support through your family doctor and/or a counsellor.

Our counsellors provide a safe and supportive space for children and families to explore their feelings and find healthy ways to cope.

Call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment or to learn more about our counselling services.

Kids Helpline provides 24/7 support for kids, teens, and young adults: 1800 55 1800.

If you found this advice helpful, you might enjoy our blog post on gentle parenting.