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How to reconnect after a relationship break

Not all breaks end in a breakup. In some situations, taking a break can be the healthiest step forward for a relationship.

Breaks can be an opportunity to reflect on what’s not working and gain clarity on your needs and expectations.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to reconnecting after a relationship break, but we hope this advice helps you move forward with respect and understanding.

 

Address Past Issues

It can be tempting to get swept up in the romance of reconnecting, but whatever you do, don’t sweep your issues under the rug.

There’s a reason you took a break, and these concerns need to be addressed if you want a happier, healthier, lasting relationship.

Take the time to discuss the issue/s leading to the relationship break, and make space for each other to share your perspectives. Discuss what you learnt during your break and how you’d like things to change moving forward.

It can take a lot of work to avoid falling back into old patterns, so it’s important you both take accountability and commit to your new goals and expectations.

While talking about the past can be painful, these conversations can bring you closer and improve your ability to navigate tough topics together – crucial skills for a healthy partnership.

We offer some great practical tips to have a difficult conversation here.

 

Forgive Each Other

Holding on to resentment and anger for past mistakes is not a healthy place to restart your relationship.

If you can’t forgive your partner or trust they’ll commit to making positive changes, consider whether you really want to continue the relationship or not.

There’s no time limit on your relationship break. If you’re still feeling hurt and need more time to process the problems and whether you can move past them, let your partner know.

Talking to a counsellor can help you explore your feelings and concerns in a safe, non-judgemental space.

Counselling is a great option if you’re feeling stuck or need an outside perspective. Our counsellors won’t tell you what to do, but they will help you gain clarity on what you feel is best for you.

 

Rekindle the Love

Once you’ve resolved your issues and agreed on how you want your relationship to look this time around, you can focus on rekindling the romance.

Put in some extra effort for:

  • Quality time – Chances are you missed each other during your time apart, so now’s the time to enjoy each other’s company with quality time. Booking in a weekly screen-free date night can be a great way to encourage conversation and connection.
  • Flirting – Just because it’s not a new relationship doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve the same flirtation and fun as the first time around. Make your partner feel special with plenty of compliments, affection, and thoughtful touches like love notes.
  • Check-ins – Make time to check in with how you’re both feeling in your relationship and if there are any areas that need more attention. Having regular open, honest conversations will help build intimacy and avoid issues building up.

 

We offer counselling for individuals and couples going through changes or tough times.

Talking to a counsellor can help you work through things in a supportive environment. This can be especially helpful if you and your partner struggle with communication.

You can call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment or learn more about our counselling services here.

In a relationship, you have the power to influence your partner in a positive or negative way. We share tips to bring out the best in your partner here.

What is family mediation?

Have you found yourself in a family conflict with no idea what to do?

This conflict might be with anyone in your family, including your adult children or grandchildren. You may feel your wishes aren’t being heard or respected by your family.  

There’s no shame in seeking professional help. In fact, a mediator can help explore options for you and your family to safely move forward.

The Senior Relationship Mediation Service (SRMS) provides family mediation for older adults and their families. The SRMS advocates for the rights and wellbeing of older people, supporting respectful communication and fair outcomes.

 

What is mediation?

Mediation is a meeting (or series of meetings) guided by a professional mediator who helps the family resolve conflict and reach a mutually agreed solution.

The mediator acts as a neutral third party to support you to safely discuss difficult issues while building healthy, respectful relationships moving forward.

 

How can mediation help?

Mediation can help families to:

  • Resolve conflict
  • Agree on a way forward
  • Share their hopes and concerns
  • Understand each other’s perspectives
  • Learn healthy ways to manage conflict.

 

What happens in mediation?

Mediation involves a meeting with family members and a mediator in a safe, supportive environment. It’s voluntary and requires the consent of all participants.

The mediator guides the process with an agreed-upon agenda. A mediation meeting can take up to three hours, with the opportunity for additional sessions if needed. You may take breaks in between as needed.

Participants can also meet individually with mediators to privately share their concerns. This can be especially helpful if you don’t feel comfortable or safe raising certain issues with your family members present.

 

Senior Relationship Mediation Service

The SRMS is a free service for seniors and their families.

This service always acknowledges the wellbeing and best interest of the older person.

Additional safe, confidential support is available if you’re experiencing elder abuse. Whether it’s emotional, financial, physical, or another form of abuse, we can help.

“Older persons should be able to live in dignity and security and be free of exploitation and abuse.”
-The United Nations Principles on Human Rights of the Older Person

 

Marianne’s story

85-year-old Marianne* was being cared for by her live-in grandson Mitch.

Mitch was experiencing some personal troubles, and his behaviour was becoming aggressive, especially towards Marianne. Marianne asked Mitch to move out, which he did.

Marianne’s other grandchild was worried about her grandmother, so she contacted the SRMS.

Marianne, her children, and both of her grandchildren (including Mitch) agreed to attend mediation together. Marianne brought along a friend as a support person.

During mediation, Marianne shared that her strongest wish was to remain in her own home for as long as possible.

The mediation lasted for three hours. The family acknowledged Mitch’s mistreatment of Marianne. Mitch apologised to Marianne and showed evidence of changing his behaviours, so Marianne decided to allow Mitch to live with her as her carer again. The family decided together on Mitch’s caretaking tasks and agreed to review the arrangement in six months.

Marianne felt her wishes were heard and honoured by her family, and there was a greater level of family support and supervision for both Marianne and Mitch.

 

If you or an older person you know need help to resolve a conflict, our experienced counsellors are here to help. We can help you explore your concerns and possible solutions in a safe and supportive environment.

You can learn more about our Senior Relationship Mediation Service here, or call 1300 063 232.

 

*Please note that names and details in this blog post have been altered to protect our client’s privacy.

 

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