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Month: May 2024

What is elder abuse?

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Elder abuse is any abuse against a senior or an older person. If you’re an older person who is feeling unsafe in any of your relationships, you may be experiencing elder abuse.

We provide free support for people in Queensland experiencing elder abuse. You can contact the Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service (EAPSS) at 1300 062 232.

Worried about an older friend or family member? You may also contact our hotline if you’d like to confidentially report elderly abuse.

 

Signs of elder abuse

Signs that someone is being abused can be hard to pinpoint. It’s not always as straightforward as physical injuries, especially since there are different types of elder abuse.

Elder abuse may be psychological (also called emotional abuse), financial, sexual, or physical. Neglect and coercive control are also forms of abuse.

Signs of psychological elder abuse

Psychological elder abuse is a series of actions and behaviours that intimidate the older person.

  • Fear
  • Self-harm
  • Self-devaluation
  • Social withdrawal
  • A decline in self-esteem
  • Minimising your own needs
  • Anxiety about a specific person.

Signs of coercive control

Coercive control is a specific type of psychological abuse. Coercive control is when the abuser exerts power over the victim. Older people are especially vulnerable to this type of abuse.

  • Gaslighting
  • Manipulation
  • Socially isolating you
  • Controlling access to necessities
  • Limiting access to grandchildren
  • Bullying, name-calling, and criticism
  • Making you ask permission for things
  • Coercing you to take on responsibilities.

Signs of financial elder abuse

Financial elder abuse occurs when a trusted person takes advantage of an older person for financial gain. Financial abuse is the most reported type of elder abuse in Australia.

  • Unpaid bills
  • Unopened mail
  • Limited access to finances
  • Pressure to change your will
  • Missing money or belongings
  • Relatives living over rent-free
  • Sudden spending habit changes.

Signs of physical elder abuse

  • Flinching
  • Broken bones
  • Poor living conditions
  • Unattended health needs
  • Unexplained bruises or cuts
  • Too much or too little medication.

Signs of elderly neglect

  • No food at home
  • Poor living conditions
  • Unable to leave home
  • Unattended health needs
  • No access to required services
  • Home is an unsuitable temperature.

Signs of elder sexual abuse

  • Sudden STI
  • Defence wounds
  • Bowel incontinence
  • Urinary incontinence
  • Fear of a specific person
  • Wounds around the genitalia.

 

Who is at risk of elder abuse?

One in six Australian seniors report facing elder abuse in the past year.

Abuse doesn’t discriminate – anyone can find themselves in an abusive situation. Being abused doesn’t define you or change your value.

Certain risk factors can make an older person more vulnerable to experiencing abuse.

Risk factors for elder abuse include:

  • Having a disability
  • Poor mental health
  • Poor physical health
  • Being socially isolated
  • Living in rented accommodation
  • Being single, separated, or divorced
  • Owning a house with debt against it
  • Coming from a First Nations background.

Men and women experience elder abuse at nearly the same rate.

 

Who commits elder abuse?

In Australia, one in two perpetrators of elder abuse are a family member of the victim.

The most common perpetrators of elder abuse are the older person’s adult children or children-in-law.

Friends, neighbours, other family members, caretakers, and service providers are also commonly reported as perpetrators in cases of elder abuse in Australia.

72% of victims of elder abuse reported that their main perpetrator suffered from problems of their own – typically mental health issues, financial problems, and physical health problems.

 

What protects people from elder abuse?

Certain lifestyle habits can help protect yourself or an older loved one from experiencing elder abuse.

These tips can help protect someone from elder abuse:

  • Having peer support
  • Seeing a financial counsellor
  • Practising healthy relationships
  • Seeking help from support services
  • Being mentally and physically active
  • Being outspoken about your wants and values
  • Seeking legal advice before any major change or decisions

We provide more information about protecting yourself from elder abuse in this blog post.

 

What to do if you or a loved one are experiencing elder abuse

The Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service (EAPSS) provides free counselling and resources for seniors in Queensland. We can help explore your concerns and possible solutions in a safe, supportive environment.

You may also contact our hotline if you are worried about someone else or to confidentially report elderly abuse.

You can learn more about our Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service here, or call 1300 063 232.

Seeking Help for Elder Abuse: What to Expect

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Everyone, regardless of how old they are, deserves to feel safe and respected in their relationships.

If you’re feeling unsafe or scared around a specific family member, partner, friend, or caretaker, it’s critical to reach out for help. If there’s an older person you’re worried about, you may wish to reach out for help on their behalf or report the senior abuse they’re experiencing.

What happens when you reach out for help concerning elder abuse? In this article, we’ll outline what to expect when you contact our Senior Relationship Services hotline. To reach out for help or to report elder abuse in Queensland, please call the free Senior Relationship Services at 1300 262 032.

 

What happens when you reach out for help or report elder abuse?

When you’re experiencing abuse, reaching out can be hard – we understand, and support is available.

Our Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service (EAPSS) is a free service for seniors in Queensland. EAPSS provides support and assistance to those at risk of, or currently experiencing, elder abuse. This service offers individualised support and referrals.

EAPSS supports folks 60 or older who live in Queensland and are at risk or experiencing elder abuse (or 50 or older for First Nations Peoples).

Here’s what happens when you reach out for help for elder abuse with the free EAPSS:

  1. Receiving help for elder abuse starts with a phone call to EAPSS at 1300 262 032.
    1. You may also be referred by police or social workers.
  2. A member of our team will speak with you about how we can best support you.
  3. You’ll fill out a client registration form.
  4. A case manager will screen your eligibility for the service.
  5. You’ll sign a client agreement and consent form.
  6. Your case manager will book a free session for you.
  7. In your first session, your case manager may help you with:
    1. A case plan
    2. A safety plan
    3. Achievable goals
    4. Referrals to legal practitioners
    5. Elder abuse prevention strategies
    6. Referrals to counselling or family mediation as required
    7. Referrals to other relevant services that may help you achieve your goals.
  8. Throughout your EAPSS journey, your case manager will evaluate your progress on your goals and case plan.
  9. The EAPSS will help you to reach your goals and act to ensure your safety, wellbeing, and your rights.

 

Tips for reaching out about elder abuse

Reaching out for help about abuse can feel difficult or scary. Here are some tips from our SRS case managers for your first call with our elder abuse hotline:

  • If possible, call when it’s safe to talk
  • We will always call back from a private number
  • The counsellor can help create a safety plan for you
  • We can connect you with relevant services, including crisis resources
  • You can share as much or as little information as you feel comfortable with.

Thank you so much for helping. I feel like I can breathe a little. I really appreciate your help as I have never been in this situation before.

-EAPSS Client in Gladstone, QLD

 

Thank you so much, you understood what I was going through and were there for me. I now have a nurse who contacts me once a month. Your team was so nice to me, too.

-EAPSS Client in Mackay, QLD

 

My case manager helped so brilliantly. It seems like she’s the perfect person for the job.

-EAPSS Client in Gladstone, QLD

 

When I first spoke to you two years ago, I had already called six different organisations – you were the first who was able to point us in the right direction.

-EAPSS Client in Rockhampton, QLD

 

I’m doing well – trying to be strong with boundaries. I understand that my personal journey in healing will be a long one and I can’t heal if I keep letting the same things happen. You have been incredible; you saw me through some of the hardest weeks of my life and I’m so very grateful for that. I’m still seeing a trauma therapist every week, which is giving me new skills.

-EAPSS Client in Gold Coast, QLD

 

Signs of elder abuse

Elder abuse is any abuse against an older person. Elder abuse may be:

  • Sexual
  • Physical
  • Financial
  • Coercive control
  • Psychological or emotional
  • Abuse in the form of neglect.

Financial abuse is the most common type of elder abuse.

Some signs of elder abuse include:

  • Making you afraid
  • Physically harming you
  • Bullying or severe criticism
  • Pressure to change your will
  • Missing money or belongings
  • Anxiety about a specific person
  • Your health needs being neglected
  • Being stuck in poor living conditions
  • Limited access to your own finances
  • Having to ask someone else permission
  • Coercing you to take on responsibilities
  • Restricted access to necessities like medical appointments, medication, or food.

You can read more about the signs of elder abuse.

 

Support for those experiencing elder abuse is available

If you or an older loved one are experiencing elder abuse, the Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Services (EAPSS) provides free counselling and safety resources for seniors. Ring our senior abuse hotline for a free, confidential chat at 1300 262 032.

Signs of a toxic relationship

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Are there signs in your relationships which make you feel like something is “not right”?

Find out how to recognise the signs of a toxic relationship so you can manage the situation, set healthy boundaries, and safely leave if necessary.

 

 

What are the signs of a toxic relationship?

There are many signs and behaviours which can present as concerning within intimate relationships. The presence of one or more of these behaviours doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed, but it may be time to consider your needs and emotional wellbeing:

Walking on eggshells

Does your partner make you feel guilty for spending time with your family and friends? Do they constantly criticise as a “joke”? Do you avoid talking about some topics out of fear or judgement?

You are allowed to spend time with your family and friends – in fact, the quality of our relationships contributes to the quality of our life overall. You should also feel comfortable and safe to discuss anything that’s on your mind, without worrying about getting into trouble with your partner.   

Communication breakdown

Does your partner shut down every time you try to talk about your feelings?

Being able to talk openly and be heard is essential in any relationship. It helps to build trust and create an open channel of communication between both partners, even in situations where you may not agree with each other.

Being controlled

Does your partner try to control what you wear, who you talk to, or where you go? Are they unsupportive or jealous of your achievements?

It’s important to remember that individuals within a relationship will have different tastes in clothes, hobbies, and even friends. You have the right to decide what you wear, whom you talk to, and where you go.

Celebrating achievements is a form of respect and shows a genuine interest in recognising your efforts in achieving a goal.

Gaslighting 

Gaslighting refers to behaviour where a partner might manipulate your words or beliefs, causing you to question your own reality or decisions. They may deny things they’ve said or done, or use terms like “that was a joke”, which can make you feel like you’re imagining things or misunderstood what was said.

This is a form of emotional abuse.

Being gaslit can affect your emotional well-being such as no longer trusting your judgement, or being overly careful about what you say and do out of fear.

Ignoring your boundaries

In a toxic relationship, boundaries often get crossed or dismissed.

Does your partner go through your phone or email without permission when you’ve asked them not to? Do they pressure you to do things which make you feel uncomfortable? Do they take money from a joint bank account without discussing with you?

These behaviours could be a sign that your partner is ignoring your needs or wants, and disrespecting your boundaries.

Lack of self-care

Have you stopped doing hobbies, neglected your health, or repeatedly sacrificed free time?

It’s normal for things to be postponed due to a busy life.

But if done because of how your partner reacts when you prioritise self-care, over time, you may become resentful which will affect your well-being and the relationship.

If you recognise any of these signs, you can take steps to protect your well-being, and improve the health of your relationships.

 

Prioritising self-care

It is easy to “lose yourself” in a relationship. However, prioritising self-care is important for your well-being.

Self-care involves taking time out to do something that brings you joy. This may be going for a nature hike, listening to your favourite music, or learning a new language for a future trip. How about creating a joy list?

Engaging in a fun activity allows you to take a break from continuously thinking about problems. It can help you manage your stress and even re-energise you. Research has shown self-care may improve your mood, help solve problems with a clearer mind, and feel positive about the future.  

Recognising and acknowledging red flags in a relationship can be hard. But once you do, you can take the necessary steps to protect yourself and move towards healthier relationships.

 

Setting boundaries

A healthy relationship involves open and honest communication where both partners feel heard and respected. You have the right to make choices about what affects your life.

To regain control of your relationship so that both parties feel heard, valued, and respected, it may be time to set boundaries.

You can do this by:

  • Using open communication – Express your needs and feelings clearly to your partner by using “I” statements. For example, say “I feel uncomfortable when” rather than “You always make me feel”.
  • Be specific – Clearly explain the types of behaviour which are unacceptable. You may say “I need you to respect my privacy by not going through personal stuff without permission.”
  • Be firm – Stick to your boundaries even if your partner tries to ignore, pushes back, or manipulates you. Keep reminding yourself that you have the right to feel safe and heard.
  • Seek support – If you’re struggling to set boundaries or feel your partner isn’t respecting them, reach out to trusted family members, friends, or a counsellor for support and guidance.

 

Our counsellors can help you explore your feelings and address underlying issues in a safe space. You can call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment or learn more about our counselling services here.

We offer advice about how to manage conflict in a relationship in our blog post Signs of an Abusive Relationship | Relationships Australia QLD (raq.org.au)