What is social abuse?

Have you been seeing a lot less of an older loved one lately? Or is someone stopping you from seeing your friends and family?

These could be signs of social abuse – when someone tries to cut you off from your friends or family. It’s a way they might try to control or manipulate you.

Social abuse is a form of elder abuse, which is when an older person is mistreated by someone they trust or rely on.

If you’re worried about yourself or an older loved one, free support is available.

Signs of social abuse

Social abuse can be hard to spot because it involves slowly isolating someone from their loved ones.

Here are some warning signs that someone might be experiencing social abuse:

• Cancelling plans often
• Losing confidence or self-esteem
• Spending less time with friends and family
• A certain person always being nearby or hovering
• Becoming less responsive to messages or phone calls
• Being unusually late to plans or leaving unusually early
• Needing to ask someone else’s permission to go out or talk to others
• It seems like someone else is reading or replying to their messages or listening in on phone calls.

Some of these signs may not necessarily mean abuse – they could also point to mental or physical health concerns. It’s important to check in on the older people in our lives. Here are some tips on helping an older loved one you’re worried about.

Examples of social abuse

Sometimes, social abuse can be disguised as “taking care of someone” or “looking out for someone.”

But if you’re already depending on someone else for care, these behaviours can cross the line into controlling or harmful territory.

Here are a few examples of social abuse:

1. Not letting you participate in social activities
2. Talking over you or not letting you talk to others
3. Checking your phone, social media, email, or mail
4. Demanding to know where you are and who you’re with
5. Not letting you spend time with friends or family members
6. Always hovering or “supervising” when you’re with others
7. Making you ask permission to see friends or family members
8. Controlling your access to your car, public transport, wheelchair, or mobility aids.

If any of these behaviours feel familiar, you’re not alone. Safe, confidential, free support is available.

Who commits elder abuse?

Elder abuse is committed by someone the older person knows and trusts. It’s usually a family member – most often an adult child.

Whether it’s intentional or not, abuse is never okay, and there’s no excuse.

Protecting yourself from social abuse

Abuse is never your fault. It can happen to anyone.

The good news is that there are a few ways to help protect yourself from social abuse.

Here are some steps you can start taking now:

1. Change your phone passcode
2. Check your own mail and email regularly
3. Update your email and social media passwords
4. Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling
5. Set up two-factor authentication on your online accounts
6. Stay in touch with friends, family members, and loved ones
7. Call the Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service at 1300 063 232 – it’s free and confidential.

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call 000.

Free support is available

If you or someone you care about is facing social abuse, we’re here to help.

Our Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service (EAPSS) offers free, personalised support to keep older people safe from abuse.

You can call us on 1300 063 232, or click here to learn more about EAPSS.

Want to know what happens when you reach out? Learn what to expect here.