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How to Talk to Kids About The Voice

Posted on by admin

The upcoming Voice referendum and related First Nations issues have sparked conversations on TV, social media, and in our everyday lives. 

Perhaps your child has approached you with curiosity and questions about The Voice or Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples. Or maybe you’re looking to introduce them to these important topics but aren’t sure where to start. 

It’s never too early to teach children the true history and rich culture of our First Nations Peoples. 

“It’s important to address these issues as First Nations issues are issues for all Australians to navigate,” says Kate Lloyd, RAQ Senior Clinical Supervisor. 

But there are a few crucial things to keep in mind to ensure the conversation is age-appropriate and your child can engage in a meaningful way. 

Kate offers some helpful guidance for parents and carers to talk to their kids about The Voice here. 

 

Ask them what they know 

Don’t assume your child’s existing level of knowledge – let them show you, tell you, and teach you their worldview. 

Finding out what they already know or think about The Voice is a great place to start. 

You might ask “What have you heard about The Voice to Parliament?” and then listen carefully to what they have to say, keeping an ear out for anything you’d like to explore further with them, and allowing this to guide the rest of your conversation. 

 

Keep it age-appropriate 

The best way to approach any serious conversation with a child is to tailor your language and details around their individual development and needs. 

Use simple, clear language and consider whether certain details are appropriate for their age. For example, a 5-year-old may not understand the concept of racist microaggressions or may be scared by specific details of abuse. 

Depending on your child’s age, you may even like to keep it light and fun with an activity that encourages your child to connect with First Nations culture. 

Consider using age-appropriate resources such as the picture book ‘Finding Our Heart – A Story About The Uluru Statement for Young Australians’ read by Tony Armstrong for Play School Story Time in this video. 

Former AFL star Adam Goodes has a collection of children’s books inviting kids to connect with First Nations culture, including ‘Somebody’s Land: Welcome to Our Country’. 

You can also find photos and videos of children celebrating NAIDOC Week and National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Children’s Day around the country online. This is a great way to increase your child’s exposure to First Nations Peoples and culture among their peers. 

 

Maintain an open dialogue 

This shouldn’t be a one-and-done conversation. Encourage your child to ask questions and share their thoughts with you during the referendum debate and beyond. 

Create a safe space for your child to feel free to share – even if their views and ideas are different to yours or others’. 

Remember that it’s OK not to have all the answers. Work together on the unknowns and uncertainties, and seek trustworthy resources to fill the gaps. This is a great opportunity to increase your own knowledge and understanding of First Nations issues.  

Reconciliation Australia and Multicultural Australia have some great credible resources on The Voice to Parliament. 

 

Make respect a priority 

Keep the safety and respect of First Nations Peoples top of mind however you intend to vote. 

Your child will be far more influenced by a conversation with you than anything they see or hear from the media or a third party. So be sure to model respectful language and kindness, regardless of your beliefs. 

We offer some practical ways to consider the safety and respect of First Nations Peoples leading up the referendum here. 

 

Be aware of your own emotions and sensitive to your child’s 

Opinions and feelings are strong on both sides of The Voice debate. 

It’s important to know your own vulnerabilities and feelings around the topic so you can address and manage these before you approach a conversation with your child. 

Lead Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Engagement and Cultural Advisor Aunty Debra Bennet reminds us: “Our children are precious.” 

Be sensitive to your child’s feelings, and take breaks if you notice they’re experiencing strong emotions. 

 

Support Services 

We understand this topic may raise difficult emotions for some people. Help is available. 

RAQ offers culturally safe counselling and support services for First Nations Peoples. You can call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment or get help finding the right support for you. 

For 24/7 crisis support, call 13YARN on 13 92 76 to talk with an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander Crisis Supporter. 

Kids Helpline provides 24/7 support to children and young people with phone counselling and webchat counselling: 1800 55 1800. 

What is The Voice to Parliament and what will it do?

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The Voice has been a popular topic in the media as we edge closer to the referendum, expected to take place later this year. 

Opinions and feelings are strong and varied, and we’ve heard from a diverse range of voices on both sides of the debate. 

But what exactly will a First Nations Voice to Parliament look like if successfully voted into the Australian Constitution? 

We unpack some key details of The Voice and important things to consider when determining your vote. 

However you intend to vote, the safety, wellbeing, and respect of our First Nations Peoples should be everyone’s priority during what may be an emotional and traumatic time._ 

We provide some practical ways to be sensitive to First Nations Peoples during The Voice referendum debate in this blog post. 

 

Where did this begin? 

While it may have become a popular point of discussion in recent months, The Voice is part of a reconciliation process that’s been unfolding for decades. 

First Nations Australians have called for a political voice in one form or another for almost 100 years. 

A formal call for a Voice to Parliament protected by the Constitution came about_through The Uluru Statement From The Heart in 2017. 

This historic statement was formed by over 250 Aboriginal_and_Torres_Strait_Islander_Delegates_from across the nation after days of discussions at the First Nations’ National Constitutional Convention in 2017. 

The Uluru Statement From The Heart is addressed to the people of Australia with three key objectives: 

  • Voice to Parliament 
  • Treaty 
  • Truth-telling. 

We encourage everyone to read The Uluru Statement From The Heart in full to learn more about the context of The Voice. 

 

What is the point of a First Nations Voice? 

If successfully voted into the Constitution with a majority of ‘Yes’ votes, The Voice will provide permanent representation and recognition for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples in the Australian Constitution. 

It will be_a new body that represents First Nations Peoples throughout the country_to provide their input into federal government decisions, policies, and laws that impact their lives._ 

The Voice will act as an advisory body, but it won’t have powers to overrule parliament (known_as “veto” powers). 

Parliament and government would be obliged to consult The Voice on matters that overwhelmingly relate to First Nations Peoples, such as native title, employment, housing, the community development program, the NDIS, or heritage protection. 

The_First Nations Referendum Working Group_advising the government says the design of The Voice will be guided by_the following principles: 

  • It will provide independent advice to parliament and government 
  • It will be chosen by First Nations Peoples based on the wishes of local communities 
  • It will be representative of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities 
  • It will be empowering, community-led, inclusive, respectful, culturally informed and gender-balanced, and will also include youth 
  • It will be accountable and transparent. 

    You can learn more about the design principles of The Voice here. 

    The Australian Government has created an information booklet outlining more information on The Voice. You can download it here. 

     

    Do all First Nations Peoples support this? 

    Over 97% of the First Nations delegates at the Uluru National Convention supported a call for a constitutional Voice through The Uluru Statement of The Heart. 

    Recent polls show 80% of First Nations Australians are in favour of The Voice. 

    Everyone has their own unique perspective and opinions, including First Nations individuals, and we cannot assume anyone’s stance on The Voice. 

    It’s important to listen to First Nations voices, respect their stories, and allow them to speak for themselves. 

    RAQ has listened to our First Nations Workforce who have generously shared their knowledge and wisdom, leading us to an organisational position in favour of a Voice to Parliament. 

    You can read our First Nations staff-led journey to ‘Yes’ here. 

     

    How will voting work? 

    Voting in the referendum is compulsory for all Australian citizens enrolled to vote. 

    If you’re already enrolled to vote, you don’t need to enrol again to vote in a referendum. 

    We’re still waiting for the referendum date to be announced, but it’s expected to take place between October and December 2023. 

    Voting in the referendum will be similar to voting in a federal election.  

    It’ll be held on a Saturday, and voters will need to attend polling places, where they will be marked off and then given a ballot form. 

    Postal votes will be available in similar circumstances as those in an election, and there will be pre-polling booths for those wanting to vote early. 

    The referendum question contained in the Bill is: 

    A Proposed Law: to alter the Constitution to recognise the First Peoples of Australia by establishing an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Voice. Do you approve this proposed alteration? 

    The wording of the referendum question may go through further changes by parliament before the referendum date. 

    Voters will only need to answer either “Yes” or “No” in response to the proposed question. 

    The ABC offers a great resource on what to expect when voting in The Voice referendum here. 

     

    Support Services 

    We understand this topic and related conversations may raise difficult emotions for some people. Help is available. 

    RAQ offers culturally safe counselling and support services for First Nations Peoples. You can call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment or get help finding the right support for you. 

    For 24/7 crisis support, call 13YARN on 13 92 76 to talk with an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander Crisis Supporter. 

    Why do I feel lonely even though I have friends?

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    Australia is in a loneliness epidemic.

    Relationships Australia’s Relationship Indicators 2022 survey revealed we’re lonelier than ever, showing almost a quarter (23.9%) of Australians are lonely.

    Almost half (45.9%) of young people aged 18-24 reported feeling emotionally lonely.

    Emotional loneliness is different to social loneliness. Social loneliness refers to the lack of a social network, while emotional loneliness is the lack of close emotional connection.

    You don’t have to be alone to feel lonely. Anyone can experience loneliness, even if you have regular social interactions.

    Maybe you feel drained after big events, or perhaps you don’t feel like you’ve found people who truly ‘get’ you yet. Either way, you might be wondering why you’re feeling alone in the world when you have people around you.

    We explore some of the reasons why you might feel lonely even when you have friends.

     

    Your connections are shallow

    Spending time with surface-level friends can leave you feeling lonelier than if you’d just stayed at home by yourself.

    Experts have found that too many shallow interactions can cause us to feel lonely and misunderstood.

    Social Scientist Kasley Killam explains:

    “Loneliness can arise from not feeling seen, understood, or validated. It can come from spending time with people who don’t share your values or interests. It can also come from too many superficial interactions and not enough deeper connections.”

    It doesn’t matter how many friends you have – if you don’t connect on a deeper level, they can leave you feeling unsatisfied and emotionally lonely.

    It can take years – even decades – to truly find your people. This doesn’t need to be a group of people. It could be just one close friend who really gets you, shares your values and interests, and makes you feel truly understood and validated.

    We explore ways to make deeper connections based on your values and interests in this blog post.

     

    You’ve outgrown your friends

    Not all friendships are made to last.

    Many of us find those childhood friends or high school social groups might fizzle out as we mature and discover who we really are.

    You might not share much in common anymore, and you may even find disagreements starting to arise as your values and beliefs take shape.

    Outgrowing friendships is a normal part of life. It’s OK to stop reaching out to friends who no longer align with your values and don’t feel like a fulfilling or comfortable fit anymore.

    We explore when to stop reaching out to a friend in this blog post.

     

    You’re socialising wrong

    There’s no right or wrong way to socialise. But if you feel drained and overwhelmed after hanging out in a big group of people, it might be a sign to change the way you spend time with the people you care about.

    Whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between, the way we socialise can have a significant impact on our energy levels and how connected we feel to the people we spend time with.

    You might find it more fulfilling to catch up with friends one at a time in a quiet setting where you can have more intimate conversations and build closeness.

     

    You’re not being yourself

    It’s hard to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance when you don’t know who you are – or you’re changing parts of your personality to appease the people you’re with.

    If you find you have to hide or change things about yourself, or you’re walking on eggshells around people, it might be worth considering how healthy and genuine those friendships really are.

    For example, if you’re a parent but none of your friends have an interest in children, you might not feel comfortable sharing that (massive) part of your life. Avoiding that topic may feel inauthentic and isolating for you.

    Some friendships can do more harm than good for our self-esteem and wellbeing. If you’re not being yourself and staying true to your identity and values, you’ll likely feel a disconnect.

     

    You’re struggling mentally

    If you’re feeling lonely or detached from the people you care about, it could be a sign that something else is going on for you.

    Maybe you’re going through a tough time mentally right now, you’re feeling burnt out from school, work, or parenting, or you’re just generally overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life. And that’s OK.

    We can’t always be our most sociable and energetic selves. But if you’re finding yourself withdrawing from friends and family or struggling with feelings of loneliness, chances are there could be something deeper beneath the surface.

    Speaking to a professional counsellor can help you sort through these feelings in a safe, judgement-free space, and find healthy ways to cope.

    Call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment or to learn more about our counselling services.

    We explore some of the potential causes of disconnection and signs of social withdrawal, and offer advice to nurture fulfilling connections here.

    5 Green Flags in a New Relationship

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    We’ve all heard of red flags. These refer to the early warning signs of what may be an unhealthy relationship or toxic partner.

    Common red flags in dating might include only talking about themselves, being rude to waitstaff, or being overly jealous.

    But what about the green flags in a relationship?

    While it’s important to know the signs of an unhealthy relationship, we should also pay attention to the positive behaviours and qualities that can indicate a healthy and mature partner.

    Here are our top 5 green flags to look for in a new or existing relationship.

     

    1. You have open and respectful communication

    It might seem simple, but effective communication is a rare gift in relationships.

    Growing research shows problems with communication is the most common reason for divorce or separation.

    If your partner isn’t a good listener, dismisses your point of view, or shuts down at the first sign of conflict, your communication may need some work.

    Some characteristics of a good communicator include:

    • Active listening – They give you their undivided attention and really listen to what you’re saying, asking relevant questions and making an effort to understand you.
    • Asking questions – One-sided conversations can be draining. If your partner asks thoughtful questions and shows a genuine interest in learning more about you, you’re on the right track.
    • Seeking clarification – Good communicators don’t assume they know what you’re thinking or what your motives are. They respectfully ask for clarification to ensure you’re on the same page and both your perspectives are considered.
    • Welcoming your thoughts – They make space for your thoughts and ideas, respecting your right to your own opinions, even when you don’t agree. They also respect your boundaries and validate your feelings, making you feel safe to share your needs.
    • Being clear and concise – Unclear communication, such as dropping hints or being passive aggressive, rarely gets you the result you want – and often leads to resentment. Effective communication involves being clear on your expectations and preferences.
    • Respectfully addressing issues – Disagreements aren’t always a sign of a fight or relationship flaw – they can be a great opportunity to understand each other and grow closer. In a healthy relationship, both people feel safe and willing to communicate respectfully through issues and disagreements, speaking up when they’re upset and hearing each other’s side of the story.

     

    2. You support each other to maintain your independence

    While it’s normal to get swept up in the love bubble of a new relationship, it’s not healthy to expect your partner to make you the centre of their world.

    A healthy relationship is one where you encourage each other to maintain your independent lives outside of the relationship.

    Your partner should support you to keep up the hobbies that fill your cup, even if that means spending time apart. They should encourage you to spend time with your friends and family, and be trusting and secure when you socialise without them.

    Likewise, it’s a good sign if your partner has fulfilling relationships, hobbies, and goals outside of your relationship themselves.

     

    3. You put in equal amounts of effort

    A relationship requires an investment in time, effort, and energy from both people.

    If you’re always the one to initiate communication or organise dates early on, there’s a chance your partner may never match your effort.

    Find a partner who gives you the same level of time, energy, and enthusiasm you give them. This might include:

    • A balance of who texts/calls first
    • Sharing who initiates and organises dates
    • Alternating who travels to who (especially if long-distance)
    • Each making time in your schedules to see each other, compromising when necessary.

    In a longer term relationship, this could look more like sharing the housework and being equally as committed to having quality time together.

     

    4. You feel safe and comfortable to be yourself

    Many of us feel pressure to make a good impression and be the ‘best version’ of ourselves on those first dates. But you should feel more relaxed and comfortable being yourself as you get to know each other better.

    In a healthy relationship, both people should be comfortable being themselves knowing their partner accepts and supports them for who they are – quirks and all.

    If you feel like you need to hide things about yourself, act a certain way, or walk on eggshells around your partner, they’re likely not the one for you.

     

    5. You consider each other’s needs and preferences

    We’re not all going to like the same food, movies, or activities, and that’s OK. But spending time with people you care about is a lot more fun when both people are enjoying themselves.

    Your partner shouldn’t have to entirely sacrifice their own needs and preferences to suit you, but it is important that they consider yours when making plans, and compromise when necessary.

    It’s all about finding your shared likes and interests – which is part of the fun of meeting someone new!

    This includes respecting your individual needs and boundaries in a relationship too. It’s a big green flag when someone takes the time to understand what it is you need and expect in a relationship and makes an effort to accommodate you.

     

    If you could use some help navigating the dating world or just want to learn more about what you need from a relationship, speaking to a professional counsellor can be a great solution.

    Call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment or to learn more about our counselling services, including relationship counselling.

    We look at how long the honeymoon phase normally lasts and how to maintain the magic long-term in this blog post.

    Older People and Gambling

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    Gambling is engrained in Australian culture.

    However, when gambling becomes harmful instead of positive, it can have severe consequences. Older Australians have the highest rates of many types of gambling and are particularly at risk of gambling harm.

    We’ll go through the signs of gambling harm in older people and how you can help an older loved one you may be worried about.

     

    Signs of gambling harm in seniors

    Gambling becomes harmful when it starts to have negative consequences on the person’s life and wellbeing.

    Signs that gambling is becoming harmful may include:

    • Sudden decrease in wealth
    • Lying about their gambling
    • Stress, anxiety, panic attacks
    • No other hobbies besides gambling
    • Using pension funds or savings to gamble
    • Increasing the amounts they are gambling
    • Gambling in the hopes of winning back losses
    • Not being able to set limits on gambling activities
    • Bragging about gambling wins or minimising losses
    • Irritability when asked about gambling or when not gambling.

     

    Worrying numbers

    Research shows that older Australians are more at risk of gambling harm than other age group.

    Over 23% of older Australians play the pokies, compared to only 16% of the general adult population.

    Over 63% of older Australians play the lottery.

     

    Why older people gamble

    Studies show that older Australians gamble due to loneliness, the need for social interaction, and ease of access.

    Social isolation

    Social isolation is a major cause of loneliness amongst the elderly. A study by Relationships Australia reveals that over 27% of retired Australians feel lonely.

    Older people are at risk of social isolation due to factors such as mobility issues, friends or spouses passing away, and retirement.

    Ease of access

    Gaming venues in Australia tend to offer promotions targeting older people. Incentives may include cheap meals for seniors, free entertainment geared toward an older audience, and free shuttle buses to and from venues.

    These promotions make gambling easy for older people to access, but they can also exploit older people’s vulnerabilities.

     

    Advice for loved ones

    Learning about safer gambling can protect your older loved one’s financial wellbeing.

    We offer a guide to talking to an older person you’re worried about here.

    Below are some ways you can help protect your older loved one from the risks of gambling harm:

    Suggest less risky hobbies

    Suggest alternate hobbies that are accessible and safe for someone of their age group and ability level. Ideas may include joining a local social club, gardening, or puzzles.

    Help them to access other activities

    While gambling venues are often accessible for the older population, other activities may be harder to attend due to transportation or mobility issues.

    You can help by offering to drive them to safer activities, such as free senior social groups.

    Here is a list of ten fun, safe activities for seniors.

    Be honest about the odds of winning

    Studies show that older Australians have limited understanding of Electronic Gaming Machines (EGMs), as well as misperceptions about potential EGM harm.

    Gently communicate with your loved one about gambling’s risk of losing versus the odds of winning.

     

    RAQ offers a Senior Financial Protection Service (SFPS), a free community education program to help older people make informed decisions and to stay safe from financial elder abuse.

    You can learn more about the SFPS here, or by calling 1300 063 232.

     

    Want to receive updates on our Senior Relationship Services blog posts?

     

    How to Talk to Loved Ones who Don’t Share Your Views Around The Voice

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    With strong opinions on both sides of The Voice debate, you may find yourself disagreeing with some of the people you care about. 

    We don’t always share the same beliefs as our friends and family members, and that’s OK. But when it comes to the topics we feel passionately about, it can be upsetting and uncomfortable when we don’t see eye to eye with the people we love. 

    We hope this advice helps you communicate effectively and maintain respectful relationships if you disagree with loved ones over The Voice. 

     

    Have patience and understanding 

    While The Voice referendum debate is an important one, this topic and related conversations may be distressing for First Nations Peoples and their non-Indigenous family members, friends, and allies. 

    This is a triggering topic for many people, and we’re all being exposed to differing public opinions throughout the media and in our social circles. 

    Let’s remember this topic is an emotionally charged one, so we all need to have some extra patience, understanding, and empathy for each other – as long as we’re staying respectful, of course. 

    We offer some practical ways to consider the safety and respect of First Nations Peoples leading up to the referendum here. 

     

    Speak with kindness and respect 

    While you don’t have to agree, you do have to remain respectful and kind – even if you’re feeling frustrated. 

    Speak with kindness and respect by: 

    • Maintaining a calm tone and volume 
    • Relaxing your posture and body language 
    • Avoiding disrespectful words like swearing or name-calling 
    • Taking a deep breath and having a second to think before responding 
    • Respecting your loved one’s right to have their own opinion and feelings. 

    Validating their feelings is a great way to keep the conversation productive. You might say “I can see this is really important to you.” Even if you don’t agree with them, acknowledging their feelings can make them feel heard, respected, and more open to listening. 

     

    Put the topic on pause if you can’t discuss it respectfully 

    There are some topics we know to avoid around certain people if we want to keep the peace. 

    If The Voice referendum falls into that camp, there’s nothing wrong with creating a boundary and putting it on pause or taking it off the table entirely. 

    You might let your loved one know before the interaction that you don’t want to talk about it, or agree to disagree and change the subject to something lighter in the moment. 

    It may even be helpful to have some space from that person if you’re feeling yourself getting consistently upset or frustrated with them. 

    We offer advice to address discrimination in this blog post. 

     

    Seek help for effective communication 

    It’s not easy to talk about these big topics, especially when we find ourselves arguing with the people we really care about. 

    Counselling can be a great option for people who struggle to communicate or need support repairing a relationship. You may never come to agree on The Voice, but counselling can help you explore your feelings and find a solution to move on and maintain a healthy relationship. 

    You can learn more about our relationship counselling_here, or call_1300 364 277_to make an appointment. 

    We offer advice on how to have a difficult conversation here. 

     

    Support Services 

    We understand this topic may raise difficult emotions for some people. Help is available. 

    RAQ offers culturally safe counselling and support services for First Nations Peoples. You can call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment or get help finding the right support for you. 

    For 24/7 crisis support, call 13YARN on 13 92 76 to talk with an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander Crisis Supporter. 

    60s and Older Social Groups in Southeast Queensland

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    Staying socially active and keeping up with friends later in life is vital. Social connections have positive impacts on both your physical and mental health.

    Being older comes with obstacles that may make it difficult to make and maintain social connections.

    Here are some free social opportunities in Southeast Queensland for seniors in their 60s and older:

     

    Seniors Morning Tea

    Social relationships are critical for our mental and physical health. Research shows that seniors who stay social are at decreased risk for illness, heart disease, and high blood pressure.

    Connecting with similar-aged people can help you to socialise and make friends.

    The Senior Social Connection Program (SSCP) hosts a free weekly Seniors Morning Tea at the Gympie Health Hub. Please call 1300 063 232 to confirm dates and times.

     

    Seniors Cuppa and Conversations

    Joining a social group for those in their 60s and older can help you to get back out there and make new friends.

    In older age, socialising significantly decreases the risk for depression, anxiety, and dementia.

    Friday Cuppa and Conversations is a free fortnightly event for seniors.

    The group meets on Thursdays at the Nambour Community Centre  and on Fridays at the Millwell Road Community Centre.

    Please call the SSCP at 1300 063 232 to confirm dates and times.

     

    Community Centres

    Community centres offer a wide range of free groups for seniors. Some community centres offer specific groups for seniors who are culturally diverse, veterans, or who have disabilities, for example.

    You can find free seniors groups hosted by community centres on:

    You can also ask your local community centre about senior social groups. If they don’t have one, they may know of another organisation who hosts a senior social group near you.

     

    Aged Care Visitor Scheme

    The Aged Care Volunteer Visitors Scheme (ACVVS) is a federally funded program that provides friendship to older people through volunteer visitors.

    The ACVVS particularly caters to seniors who are socially isolated. Reasons for social isolation may include coming from a culturally diverse background, living in a remote location, or having a disability.

    You can learn more about the ACVVS on the Australian Government website here.

    You can sign up to request a volunteer visitor through the ACVVS here.

     

    Relationships Australia Queensland’s Senior Social Connection Program helps older Queenslanders in Sunshine Coast and Gympie to stay connected.

    If you or an older person you know is feeling lonely or socially isolated, our Senior Relationships Services are here to help. Our experienced counsellors can help you explore your concerns and possible solutions in a safe and supportive environment.

    You can learn more about our Senior Social Connection Program here, or call 1300 063 232 to make an appointment.

    Want to receive updates on our Senior Relationship Services blog posts?

     

    Our Journey to ‘Yes’ on The Voice

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    RAQ recently announced that we stand in favour of enshrining a First Nations Voice to Parliament. 

    We’re deeply grateful for the generosity of our First Nations staff who shared their diverse voices, experiences, and perspectives throughout our journey to Yes. 

    Today, we want to share the First Nations-led process we undertook to develop an organisational position on The Voice to Parliament referendum. 

    Take a journey with Aunty Debra Bennet, Lead Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander Engagement & Cultural Advisor, as she describes the steps that led us to Yes. 

     

    1. An Invitation 

    Our first step was to create space for our First Nations staff to share their diverse opinions on The Voice. 

    Relationships Australia National (RAN) CEO Nick Tebbey invited the Relationships Australia Indigenous Network (RAIN) executive team to develop a response to The Voice Referendum to Parliament. 

    This would be an opportunity to platform Truth-telling and encourage deep listening among our non-First Nations staff. 

     

    2. Building Blocks 

    The RAIN executive team came together in May to discuss whether they were willing and able to develop a response considering the heightened media coverage and recognition of the mounting pressure on our respective local First Nations Community members and leaders. 

    They discussed the level of misinformation and a need for greater access to resources to inform respective communities about the background to the Voice Referendum. 

    Building capacity for individuals, families, and communities to feel safe, supported, and informed throughout this political process was of utmost importance considering the impacts on First Nations community members, including members of our respective workforces. 

     

    3. Coming Together 

    RAIN executive members consulted_respective First Nations Workforce members and held a face-to-face meeting in Adelaide with our national representatives to discuss a response to the national conversation to the Voice Referendum. 

    Here, our First Nations staff from around the country were able to connect and share their voices. 

    The RAIN executives presented a RAIN Statement on The Voice to the RAN CEOs for the first time. 

     

    4. Listening and Learning 

    The RAIN Statement provided an opportunity to connect and learn with open hearts and minds. 

    RAN CEOs sat with all RAIN executive and representative staff, listening deeply to them as they shared their perspectives. RAN CEOs responded individually, and jointly accepted the statement.  

    They each agreed to support the respective RAN First Nations Workforces to meet and discuss the RAIN Statement, and to consider their own position on this significant moment in Australian History.  

    The RAN CEOs also agreed to respond effectively and sensitively to the RAIN Statement, reaffirming their commitment to prioritise cultural fitness throughout this journey and beyond. 

     

    5. Truth-Telling 

    Relationships Australia Queensland (RAQ) Board and CEO, Natasha Rae, supported RAQ’s First Nations employees to attend a First Nations Workforce Gathering in Brisbane in June 2023.  

    RAQ First Nations staff, alongside Community Leaders and QLD Voice Coordinator Campaign 2023, discussed their shared historical, individual, and diverse perspectives, national milestones, and precedents leading to the current national conversation. 

    They drew upon parallels between their collective voice within RAQ and RAIN as a collective voice within RAN and developed an RAQ First Nations Workforce Voice to Parliament Referendum Statement. 

     

    6. Walking Forward Together 

    On day two of the Gathering, the members of the RAQ First Nations Workforce sat with RAQ CEO Natasha Rae, and Chair of RAQ Board Bill Owens, and reflected upon the journey they as First Nations community members have been on with mainstream Australia and as members of Relationships Australia Workforce. 

    They delivered the RAQ First Nations Workforce statement on the Voice to Parliament Referendum to Natasha and Bill. 

    Together, Natasha and Bill unreservedly supported the advice and guidance provided by RAIN and the RAQ First Nations Workforce, developing their own CEO and Chair Joint Statement on The Voice in response. 

    They developed a public campaign to: 

    • Further commit to safe and respectful workplaces and conversations for all First nations Workforce members and our colleagues 
    • Provide all relevant resources for safe and respectful conversations with the entire RAQ workforce 
    • Share the respective Statements on the Voice to Parliament_Referendum, including relevant resources for safe and respectful communities, through our digital platforms and allied networks. 

    Natasha expressed her gratitude for our First Nations Workforce throughout this journey in the CEO and Chair Joint Statement: 

    “We respect the toll it takes on First Nations Peoples to educate, advocate, and repeatedly share their wisdom. We express our deepest gratitude for the generosity of our First Nations staff members and communities throughout our collaborative journey to Yes. 

    By elevating the voices of our First Nations Workforce, we can more accurately assess the history of this country and walk together on a journey to a more just and healing future.” 

    You can read the Relationships Australia Qld organisational statement of support for enshrining a First Nations Voice to Parliament here. 

    How to be Sensitive to First Nations Peoples during The Voice Referendum Debate

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    The Voice debate is an important and historic one. But the referendum process and related conversations will likely be challenging – and potentially distressing – for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples. 

    However you intend to vote, the safety, wellbeing, and respect of our First Nations Peoples should be everyone’s priority during what may be an emotional and traumatic time. 

    We’d like to offer some practical ways to be sensitive to First Nations Peoples during The Voice referendum debate, and to be conscious of your own self-care as an ally. 

     

    Educate Yourself 

    While we should be seeking to listen to First Nations voices, it takes a toll on First Nations Peoples to continuously share their stories, educate, and advocate. 

    Whatever your stance on The Voice, it’s your responsibility to be informed and educate yourself on First Nations Peoples’ perspectives of Australian history and the ongoing impact of colonisation, including the upcoming referendum. 

    Familiarising yourself with The Uluru Statement from The Heart and understanding the background of the call to enshrine a voice to parliament is a great place to start. 

     

    Acknowledge the Impact 

    Opinions and feelings surrounding the referendum are strong on both sides. 

    Sadly, First Nations Peoples will likely experience increased instances of racism and cultural bias as people publicly share their thoughts online and in person. 

    It’s important that we’re aware of the impact The Voice debate and related conversations may have on First Nations Peoples and their immediate non-First Nations family members, close friends and allies. 

    Being the focus of such strong political opinions and misinformation can severely impact their mental, emotional, social, and spiritual wellbeing.  

    Some impacts might include: 

    • Increased anxiety and depression 
    • Changes in sleep and appetite 
    • Feeling fearful and unsafe 
    • Feelings of shame 
    • Trauma and PTSD 
    • Chronic stress 
    • Suicidal thoughts. 

      Being mindful of these impacts can help us be more understanding and empathetic and remind us to look out for each other during this time. 

       

      Create Safe Spaces for First Nations Peoples 

      Now more than ever, we each have a responsibility to consciously create culturally safe and inclusive workplaces and communities.  

      A culturally safe space means everyone feels comfortable, supported, and respected. 

      You can do this by: 

      • Recognising and avoiding stereotypes 
      • Confronting your own racism and biases 
      • Never assuming someone’s cultural identity 
      • Being aware of cultural differences in communication by seeking to understand how First Nations community members in your local area use body language that is respectful and welcoming. 

       

      Don’t Speak for First Nations Peoples 

      People will have different opinions and perspectives when it comes to The Voice – including First Nations individuals. 

      Allow First Nations Peoples to speak for themselves, and don’t assume where they stand on the topic. 

      Truth-telling and storytelling are two of the most important tools to educate non-First Nations Australians about these issues and to learn what issues are priorities to First Nations Peoples. 

      Truth-telling requires us to suspend our own experience and personal biases and engage in deep listening with First Nations Peoples about historical Truths. These Truths can sometimes be uncomfortable, but Truth-telling is crucial to build respect and understanding and begin the healing journey to reconciliation. 

      This might involve listening to practical examples of current incidents and historical precedents witnessed and/or documented by: 

      Storytelling refers to First Nations clans or individuals sharing their wisdom, knowledge, and lived experience. Storytelling might take the form of sharing a personal history, such as Stolen Generation survivor, Barkindji woman Aunty Julie Black, sharing her experience as part of The Healing Foundation’s ‘Telling our Stories – Our Stolen Generations’ series. 

      Listen to the Truths shared in Truth-telling and storytelling, and centre First Nations Peoples in conversations on The Voice – and all issues impacting them – to ensure their voices are heard. 

       

      Be Respectful and Open to Learning 

      Respectful communication is important no matter the context. 

      When First Nations Peoples share their feelings, lived experience, and wisdom, remain respectful and openminded. Don’t interrupt, raise your voice, or use disrespectful language or body language. 

      You don’t have to agree, but you do have to be respectful. 

      We offer tips to be a good listener in this blog post. 

       

      Stand up Against Racism 

      When safe to do so, standing visibly against racism and discrimination can be one of the most impactful ways to show support. 

      This includes calling out microaggressions within your own family or social circle. It may be uncomfortable, but having these conversations is a crucial part of being a true advocate. Silence condones racism. 

      You don’t have to engage in political discussions or advocate for your position on The Voice, but you do have a responsibility to advocate for the respect and dignity of our First Nations Peoples. 

      If we seek to be a more caring and respectful society that values all members and their safety, we’ll find better ways to work and live together. 

      We offer advice to address discrimination in this blog post. 

       

      Support Services 

      We understand this topic may raise difficult emotions for some people. Help is available. 

      RAQ offers culturally safe counselling and support services for First Nations Peoples. You can call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment or get help finding the right support for you. 

      For 24/7 crisis support, call 13YARN on 13 92 76 to talk with an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander Crisis Supporter. 

      My Partner’s Anxiety is Affecting Me

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      Every relationship has its ups and downs, but mental health conditions can bring unique challenges for both partners.

      Research shows almost a third of people in Australia will experience an anxiety disorder in their lifetime, so many people will find themselves supporting a partner with anxiety at some point.

      Being with someone with a mental health condition means loving them in full and understanding that you may need to provide extra emotional support throughout the relationship.

      It can feel helpless, overwhelming, and even frustrating at times. This is normal and doesn’t make you a bad person or mean you love them any less – but it could be a sign you need to pay more attention to your own mental health.

      We explore how anxiety can affect relationships and how to look after yourself while supporting a partner with anxiety.

       

      How does anxiety affect relationships?

      Anxiety manifests differently in different people, and no two relationships are the same.

      The impacts of anxiety on a relationship will look different for everyone, but these are just some examples of how anxiety might affect a relationship.

      Codependency

      Some people with anxiety can be codependent or ‘clingy’ with their partner. This is generally due to a fear of rejection or abandonment.

      Codependency can also show up for people with anxiety who struggle with tasks like making phone calls, doing the groceries, or driving in busy traffic. They might rely on their partner to do these anxiety-inducing tasks for them, reducing their independence and confidence.

      Insecurity

      Anxiety and insecurity go hand in hand for many people, and this can require a lot of positive reassurance from a partner. The partner might feel like a broken record as they constantly remind their partner with anxiety that they love them and they’re not going to leave them.

      The person with anxiety might struggle with self-esteem issues, jealousy, and suspicion their partner is interested in someone else.

      At times, this can make it difficult for the partner to maintain friendships with people of the opposite sex (or same sex, if relevant).

      Social isolation

      People who struggle with anxiety may isolate themselves and avoid social situations. This can impact their partner’s social life too, as they may feel guilty attending events without them.

      Chronic tension

      Emotional instability is a common symptom of anxiety, and this can cause tension in relationships. The partner may not know how to respond in certain situations or may feel like they’re walking on eggshells.

      Communication breakdown

      Anxiety can cause serious problems with communication and connection in intimate relationships.

      It’s common for people with anxiety to feel guilty or like a burden due to stigma around mental illness. Some people with anxiety may even fear they’ll appear self-absorbed or dramatic if they talk about their anxiety too much.

      This can cause them to shut down or try to hide the extent of their struggles as to not risk being “less lovable” or “too much work” to their partner, creating distance.

       

      How to look after yourself while supporting a partner with anxiety

      The reality is people with an anxiety disorder may need more emotional support in a relationship. This doesn’t make them selfish, but it doesn’t mean your needs should take a backseat either.

      Everyone has mental health, and it’s important to look after yours even if you don’t have a mental health condition.

      Here are a few ways to protect your mental wellbeing while supporting a partner with anxiety.

      Learn more about anxiety

      Educating yourself on anxiety and its symptoms may help you be more understanding and empathetic of what your partner is going through.

      Learning helpful techniques (e.g. listening and validating their feelings, offering plenty of empathy and reassurance) can help you feel more equipped to support your partner and less helpless and overwhelmed.

      We explore some of the different types of anxiety disorders here.

      Communicate your feelings and boundaries

      We understand it can be tricky to raise your own feelings or stresses with an anxious partner. You may worry you’re just adding to their pile of anxieties, or that they’ll feel shame or guilt as a result.

      It’s important to remember that you deserve support too, and honest and respectful communication is the best way to make sure your needs are being met – and to avoid resentment down the track.

      Be clear on your feelings and proposed solutions before you approach your partner. Focus on “I” statements so they don’t feel judged or blamed, and try to find specific examples if you can.

      For example:

      • “I’m here for you, but I don’t feel like I can provide the level of support you need. Could therapy be a helpful option for you?”
      • “I’m feeling overwhelmed by my own stuff this week (e.g. work, family). I want to be here for you, but I don’t have the capacity to really engage and listen the way I’d like to. Can we wait until the weekend?”
      • “I understand it’s really hard for you at the moment, but I feel like it’s impacting my friendships. I’d like to put more energy into socialising. How can we make sure you’re comfortable with that?”

      Remember, an anxiety-prone partner may perceive this conversation as a threat to the relationship.

      Provide plenty of reassurance that you love them and you care about them, and you’re there to help find a solution.

      Prepare yourself with our practical tips to have a difficult conversation.

      Lean on your support network

      Social support is one of the most important human needs. Having a strong support network can reduce stress and increase our resilience and overall quality of life.

      Make an effort to maintain your relationships with friends and family, and don’t be afraid to reach out and open up when you’re having a tough time.

      You might be surprised by how relieved you feel just by talking about your problems with someone you trust. Venting is healthy – it can help relieve pent-up feelings about a problem, and talking to someone outside of the situation can help you see different perspectives and solutions.

      Just be sure to respect your partner’s privacy and don’t disclose specific information about their mental illness without their consent.

      Seek help for yourself

      Seeing someone you love suffer with mental illness can be painful.

      Remember that it’s not your job to fix them, it’s your job to accept, support, and love them – but not to the detriment of your own mental health and happiness. You deserve support for your challenges too.

      Speaking to a trusted loved one or a professional counsellor can be a great solution.

      Our experienced counsellors can help you explore your concerns and find healthy ways to cope and communicate with your partner.

      Call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment or to learn more about our counselling services, including relationship counselling.

      In a relationship, you have the power to influence your partner in a positive or negative way. Your words and behaviours can lift them up or bring them down. We offer tips to bring out the best in your partner.