The FIFO lifestyle can be tough on even the strongest relationships.
With long and/or frequent periods of separation, it’s common for partners to feel lonely and disconnected from time to time.
But people in FIFO and long-distance relationships can overcome these obstacles and maintain their closeness with some extra care and effort.
We offer some advice on how to deal with FIFO relationships and the unique challenges they can bring.
1. Set Expectations for Communication
Communication is important in every relationship, but it’s especially crucial for couples who don’t see each other every day.
Discuss your expectations around how and how often you’ll communicate to ensure you’re on the same page.
What do you need to feel loved and supported by your partner during your time apart? Maybe it’s a daily phone call, or perhaps you’d like regular texts and photo updates throughout the day.
These needs might look different for everyone, so don’t assume you’ll just work it out as you go. Be honest about what you expect from your partner and how you’re willing and able to be available for them.
With effective communication, FIFO relationships can present an opportunity to grow your emotional intimacy and feel closer to each other despite the physical distance.
Regular check-ins can help increase understanding and build trust in your relationship. We list 10 relationship check-in questions here.
2. Show Support However You Can
It can be hard to be your partner’s go-to for support when your opportunities for quality time and communication are limited. But it’s important to stay involved and be there for them through their ups and downs however you can.
Be aware of what’s going on for your partner and share what’s going on for you. When something in your partner’s life requires extra attention from you (e.g. job interview, medical issue, family problems), be sure to check in, show interest, and let them know they can rely on you to provide emotional support from afar.
You might even like to send some of their favourite treats, flowers, or a card with words of encouragement during these tough or significant moments.
3. Make the Most of Your Time Together
When quality time together is limited, it should be used intentionally.
You don’t have to spend a small fortune on wining and dining every time you reunite. But a little effort goes a long way to keep the romance alive and make your time together memorable.
For example, you might like to:
- Return to where you had your first date
- Plan and book a night away together at an Airbnb or hotel
- Write a bucket list of experiences and adventures you’d like to have together
- Choose your favourite photos together to print, frame, and display around the house
- Cook dinner together while listening to a playlist of songs special to your relationship.
4. Nurture Your Independence
This can be particularly important for the partner at home.
It’s not healthy to put your life on hold between visits from your partner. It’s important for your mental health – and the longevity of your relationship – that you build a life and identity separate to your partner.
Maintain your social life by booking in regular catchups with friends and family and leaning on your support network during those lonely days.
Fill your time with activities you love by picking up an old hobby or starting a new one. Create goals for yourself, whether it’s to read a certain number of books or to run a certain length in a certain time.
While it’s normal to miss your partner, you should find happiness and fulfilment from other people and things when you’re apart.
We explore more reasons why it’s important to have friendships outside your relationship here.
5. Seek Support for Your Mental Health
People in FIFO relationships can face mental health challenges due to the stress separation and other related issues can bring.
If you need some extra support coping, our counsellors can help you find the tools to navigate your FIFO relationship with confidence.
You can learn more about our counselling for individuals and couples here, or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.