Dealing with Empty Nest Syndrome

So the kids have flown the coop and you’re adjusting to an empty home.

Being a parent can define your life and your identity, and it’s normal to feel some sadness and loss when your children grow up and move out.

If you’re having a particularly difficult time coping with your kids moving out of the family home, you may be experiencing empty nest syndrome.

Some common signs of empty nest syndrome might include:

• A sense of loss of purpose and/or identity
• Excessive anxiety about your children’s welfare
• Feelings of rejection or isolation
• Feeling overly emotional or depressed
• Increased marital stress.

We hope our advice helps you adjust to the new normal when your kids leave home.

Find new challenges

Having kids in the house can take a lot of time out of your day, no matter their age. Now you’re no longer sharing a roof and you have some spare time on your hands, why not explore new interests and prioritise your passions?

Start a new hobby, join a club, volunteer, begin a course, or tackle that home reno project. This is a great time to reconnect with who you were before all your time and energy went into your kids. It’s also a great way to redirect your focus and find a sense of purpose and fulfilment.

Stay in touch while respecting boundaries

Just because you no longer live together doesn’t mean you can’t continue to be close with your kids. Sure, your relationship might change as they enter adulthood, and the family dynamic might shift as they become more independent. But once you accept that they need to stand on their own two feet, you can begin to embrace your new relationship and friendship.

Make an effort to maintain regular contact through texts, calls, and visits. Just be sure to respect their boundaries and privacy, e.g. resist the urge to check in too much, and avoid dropping by unexpectedly.

Reconnect with your spouse

Remember the days when it was just the two of you? You could go to the cinema without coordinating a babysitter. You could go out to dinner without worrying about a meal for the kids. You could have a weekend away without obsessing over what was going on back at home.

It’s normal for families to centre their activities around their kids, but now you’re down to a twosome again, it’s the perfect opportunity to rediscover all the things you loved to do together.

And if you don’t have a spouse, celebrate your newfound freedom by reaching out to friends and filling your social calendar. Or simply embrace the opportunity to have more time to yourself.

Let yourself grieve

It’s normal to feel sad when your children move away. Don’t try and speed up or skip over your recovery period – be kind to yourself and make time for self-care while you’re healing. This might include relaxation techniques like meditation, walking outdoors, and confiding in loved ones.

If you’re struggling with extreme empty nest depression or grief, you might find it helpful to speak to a professional. RAQ offers confidential counselling for individuals, couples, and families in a supportive and respectful environment. You can learn more about our counselling services and how to book here.