How to Build Your Self-Esteem After Being Cheated On

It’s natural for your self-esteem to take a blow after you’ve been cheated on.

And with that, it can even be difficult to focus on the self-care you deserve in times like this. But there is a lot you can do to remind yourself you’re worthy of love, and to heal after being cheated on.

We’ll take you through some tips on how to build your self-esteem, and how to love yourself after being cheated on.

 

Don’t blame yourself

Your partner’s decision to cheat isn’t a reflection of you. It doesn’t mean something’s “wrong” with you, or that you did anything wrong.

People cheat for many reasons. Often, it’s an indication of their own issues, such as insecurity or a need for validation. But no matter the reason, you can affirm to yourself that you played no part.

 

Surround yourself with people who build you up

Your friends and family can often serve as a great reminder of the quality of your relationships, and the love and appreciation you deserve. Whether it’s a cup of tea, a chat, a laugh, and outing, there are endless ways of refilling your cup with your support network.

Creating new memories with your loved ones can also help take your mind off the cheating and the breakup.

 

Do things that make you feel proud

Now’s an opportunity to focus on all the things that make you feel good about and proud of yourself.

Whether it’s going to the gym, practising an instrument, or cooking new recipes, indulge in activities that let you flex your favourite skills.

 

Identify and manage your triggers

Being cheated on can be a traumatic experience – it’s normal to be triggered by overthinking, reminders of the situation, and uncomfortable topics.

Being in touch with your triggers is a form of self-compassion. When you learn how to handle these triggers, it can boost your confidence in facing everyday situations.

Some strategies for managing triggers include:

• Confiding in a friend
• Doing breathing exercises
• Taking a step back from the situation
• Connecting with professional support.

 

Let yourself experience your emotions

It’s normal to feel sad, angry, confused, happy, optimistic, pessimistic, annoyed, calm, and every other emotion in between.

And they’re all completely okay.

Be gentle and kind to yourself. Give yourself time to feel your feelings. Remember, healing isn’t linear; there will be ups and downs, and some days will be easier than others.

It’s okay to cry, scream, and to talk about your feelings. And reminding yourself that they’re okay is a great way to help reinforce your self-esteem.

 

Seek professional support

Feelings can be complicated following a breakup, especially when cheating is involved.

There’s no shame in seeking professional help, like counselling. Talking to a counsellor can help you process your feelings and find healthy ways to cope, recover, and love yourself again.

 

You can learn more about our counselling service here, or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

Everyone’s path after being cheated on will be different. If your path includes a separation with kids, you can find support for how to approach the topic of separation with children here.