Everyone, regardless of age, deserves to feel safe and respected in their relationships.
Emotional abuse against elderly people is a type of elder abuse.
Emotional abuse, also called psychological abuse, can happen in any relationship where there is an expectation of trust. In the case of older people, the abuser may be a spouse, adult child, grandchild, carer, family friend, or neighbour.
In this article, we’ll discuss some signs of elderly emotional abuse to look out for in your older loved ones and free support options.
1. Social withdrawal or isolation
When someone is experiencing emotional abuse, they may become socially withdrawn from their family, friends, and community.
Often, an abuser will aim to socially isolate their victim to remove outside influences and make them more dependent on the abuser. Older people who rely on someone else for care and support are especially vulnerable.
The older person may also withdraw from their family and friends due to the shame, fear, or low self-esteem that the abuse is causing them.
Social isolation is dangerous for older people. It’s linked with increased risks of serious conditions such as dementia, premature death, and depression. If you notice an older loved one being more withdrawn than usual, reach out and check in on them. Here are some tips to talk to an older person you’re worried about.
2. Depression, anxiety, or fear
Emotional abuse can take a huge toll on someone’s mental health. Abuse in older people is highly associated with depression.
Signs of depression caused by emotional abuse may include:
- Not leaving the house
- Not eating or decreased appetite
- Not engaging in hobbies or activities
- Seeming uninterested or unbothered
- Drinking increased amounts of alcohol
- Not sleeping or sleeping more than usual.
Signs of anxiety caused by emotional abuse may include:
- Unusual lack of excitement or enthusiasm
- Checking in for permission from someone else
- Constantly cancelling or not showing up to plans
- Walking on eggshells, especially around a certain person
- Nervous behaviours like nail-biting, skin-picking, or fidgeting.
3. Unusual anger or irritability
Outbursts of anger can be a sign of being abused.
A person experiencing abuse may bottle up their emotions due to fear of expressing or communicating them. Bottling up can make a person easily irritated. Seemingly “normal” or “small” things may elicit an unbalanced response of anger.
These emotional outbursts should be responded to with gentle understanding. It may be a helpful approach to ask if there’s anything else going on that they want to speak about.
4. Lower level of self-esteem
Emotional abuse can cause someone’s self-esteem to plummet, especially in the case of older people who often depend on their abuser or who may not have many other people in their life.
Signs of low self-esteem can include self-deprecating talk, poor self-care, and not accepting or asking for help.
5. Passivity or seeming not to care
Sometimes emotional abuse can wear someone down to seem like a “shell” of their normal self. They may seem uninvolved, uninterested, and unfazed.
Emotional abuse is damaging for anyone’s mental health, no matter how old they are. It’s important to be supportive and to continue reaching out to someone who you’re worried about.
6. Stress, worry, or fear surrounding visits with a specific person
If the older person seems to get worried or anxious before, during, or after being around a certain person, it may indicate that they feel unsafe around them. They may behave like they’re walking on eggshells.
If you’re worried that someone is perpetrating elder abuse, here are some actions you can take if it’s safe to do so:
- Help your older loved one develop a safety plan
- Call 000 if there is an immediate threat to anyone’s safety
- Contact the Queensland Elder Abuse Helplineat 1300 651 192
- Help your older loved one access resources that can help, like the Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service.
- Offer to drive them to appointments.
Support is available
The Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service (EAPSS) helps older Queenslanders who are experiencing elder abuse. EAPSS provides free counselling, legal aid, referrals, and intervention services.
If you’re worried about yourself or an elderly loved one, you can call 1300 062 232 to learn more.
Here are some ways to help an older person you’re worried about.