What to do When Your Relationship is in a Rut

There can come a time in even the happiest relationships where things feel a little… meh.

Whether you’ve been together for a while or you’re simply stuck in the same old routine, it’s normal to feel the excitement slip away from time to time.

The good news is that with just a little effort, you can reignite that spark and add some fun back to your relationship.

Try these tips if your relationship or marriage is in a rut.

Plan something exciting together

Sometimes the planning and anticipation of something can be just as fun as the thing itself!

Planning something like a holiday, party, or renovations will provide an opportunity to collaborate and spend more time together. It’ll also give you something positive to look forward to and share excitement in.

Top tip: Ask your partner plenty of questions and allow them to share their big ideas – and don’t be shy to share yours! This is a great chance to learn more about each other and yourself.

Book an extra special date night

Forget dinner and a movie; a relationship rut calls for a bit of novelty to mix things up.

Go the extra mile and surprise your partner with something a little out of the ordinary. Some original date ideas might include:

• Go horse riding
• Visit a games arcade
• Rock out at a concert
• Race at a go-kart track
• Catch a stand-up comedy show
• Enjoy a winery or brewery tour
• Take a cooking or dancing lesson.

Top tip: On a budget? No worries! Try one of our fun and affordable date ideas (think backyard picnic, games night, and silent disco) in this blog post.

Create a bucket list together

Sometimes we can be so focused on our day-to-day responsibilities that we forget to daydream about the future.

Creating a bucket list together is a great way to look at the big picture and inspire some deep conversations about your hopes and dreams in life. It’s also a great way to confirm you’re on the same page about what’s important for your future.

Top tip: It can help with brainstorming to break your bucket list into categories (e.g. travel, career, creativity, relationships).

Compete against each other

There’s nothing like some friendly competition to add some excitement to your dynamic. Some couples even say playing against each other in videogames and sports can be a fun form of flirting!

Some sports or activities to compete in might include:

• Tennis
• Mini golf
• Darts
• Bowling
• Videogames
• Board games.

Top tip: Mix things up and invite friends to play doubles/teams!

Kick screens out of the bedroom

Pillow talk and intimacy can take a backseat when Netflix rules the room.

If you get stuck bingeing your favourite series or scrolling on your phone at night, it might be worth implementing a no-screens rule in the bedroom.

You might find you have more time for each other at the end of the day than you thought.

Top tip: If you simply can’t live without your TV and devices in the bedroom, introduce a time limit instead. For example, you might agree to switch off your screens at 8pm.

For more ideas, check out our article 10 Ways to Add Excitement to a Long-Term Relationship.