Category: Domestic & Family Violence

Everyone, regardless of age, deserves to feel safe and respected in their relationships.

Emotional abuse against elderly people is a type of elder abuse.

Emotional abuse, also called psychological abuse, can happen in any relationship where there is an expectation of trust. In the case of older people, the abuser may be a spouse, adult child, grandchild, carer, family friend, or neighbour.

In this article, we’ll discuss some signs of elderly emotional abuse to look out for in your older loved ones and free support options.

1.      Social withdrawal or isolation

When someone is experiencing emotional abuse, they may become socially withdrawn from their family, friends, and community.

Often, an abuser will aim to socially isolate their victim to remove outside influences and make them more dependent on the abuser. Older people who rely on someone else for care and support are especially vulnerable.

The older person may also withdraw from their family and friends due to the shame, fear, or low self-esteem that the abuse is causing them.

Social isolation is dangerous for older people. It’s linked with increased risks of serious conditions such as dementia, premature death, and depression. If you notice an older loved one being more withdrawn than usual, reach out and check in on them. Here are some tips to talk to an older person you’re worried about.

2.      Depression, anxiety, or fear

Emotional abuse can take a huge toll on someone’s mental health. Abuse in older people is highly associated with depression.

Signs of depression caused by emotional abuse may include:

• Not leaving the house
• Not eating or decreased appetite
• Not engaging in hobbies or activities
• Seeming uninterested or unbothered
• Drinking increased amounts of alcohol
• Not sleeping or sleeping more than usual.

Signs of anxiety caused by emotional abuse may include:

• Unusual lack of excitement or enthusiasm
• Checking in for permission from someone else
• Constantly cancelling or not showing up to plans
• Walking on eggshells, especially around a certain person
• Nervous behaviours like nail-biting, skin-picking, or fidgeting.

3.      Unusual anger or irritability

Outbursts of anger can be a sign of being abused.

A person experiencing abuse may bottle up their emotions due to fear of expressing or communicating them. Bottling up can make a person easily irritated. Seemingly “normal” or “small” things may elicit an unbalanced response of anger.

These emotional outbursts should be responded to with gentle understanding. It may be a helpful approach to ask if there’s anything else going on that they want to speak about.

4.      Lower level of self-esteem

Emotional abuse can cause someone’s self-esteem to plummet, especially in the case of older people who often depend on their abuser or who may not have many other people in their life.

Signs of low self-esteem can include self-deprecating talk, poor self-care, and not accepting or asking for help.

5.      Passivity or seeming not to care

Sometimes emotional abuse can wear someone down to seem like a “shell” of their normal self. They may seem uninvolved, uninterested, and unfazed.

Emotional abuse is damaging for anyone’s mental health, no matter how old they are. It’s important to be supportive and to continue reaching out to someone who you’re worried about.

6.      Stress, worry, or fear surrounding visits with a specific person

If the older person seems to get worried or anxious before, during, or after being around a certain person, it may indicate that they feel unsafe around them. They may behave like they’re walking on eggshells.

If you’re worried that someone is perpetrating elder abuse, here are some actions you can take if it’s safe to do so:

1. Help your older loved one develop a safety plan
2. Call 000 if there is an immediate threat to anyone’s safety
3. Contact the Queensland Elder Abuse Helpline at 1300 651 192
4. Help your older loved one access resources that can help, like the Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service.
5. Offer to drive them to appointments.

Support is available

The Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service (EAPSS) helps older Queenslanders who are experiencing elder abuse. EAPSS provides free counselling, legal aid, referrals, and intervention services.

If you’re worried about yourself or an elderly loved one, you can call 1300 062 232 to learn more.

Here are some ways to help an older person you’re worried about.

Elder abuse is any abuse against a senior or an older person. If you’re an older person who is feeling unsafe in any of your relationships, you may be experiencing elder abuse.

We provide free support for people in Queensland experiencing elder abuse. You can contact the Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service (EAPSS) at 1300 062 232.

Worried about an older friend or family member? You may also contact our hotline if you’d like to confidentially report elderly abuse.

Signs of elder abuse

Signs that someone is being abused can be hard to pinpoint. It’s not always as straightforward as physical injuries, especially since there are different types of elder abuse.

Elder abuse may be psychological (also called emotional abuse), financial, sexual, or physical. Neglect and coercive control are also forms of abuse.

Signs of psychological elder abuse

Psychological elder abuse is a series of actions and behaviours that intimidate the older person.

• Fear
• Self-harm
• Self-devaluation
• Social withdrawal
• A decline in self-esteem
• Minimising your own needs
• Anxiety about a specific person.

Signs of coercive control

Coercive control is a specific type of psychological abuse. Coercive control is when the abuser exerts power over the victim. Older people are especially vulnerable to this type of abuse.

• Gaslighting
• Manipulation
• Socially isolating you
• Controlling access to necessities
• Limiting access to grandchildren
• Bullying, name-calling, and criticism
• Making you ask permission for things
• Coercing you to take on responsibilities.

Signs of financial elder abuse

Financial elder abuse occurs when a trusted person takes advantage of an older person for financial gain. Financial abuse is the most reported type of elder abuse in Australia.

• Unpaid bills
• Unopened mail
• Limited access to finances
• Pressure to change your will
• Missing money or belongings
• Relatives living over rent-free
• Sudden spending habit changes.

Signs of physical elder abuse

• Flinching
• Broken bones
• Poor living conditions
• Unattended health needs
• Unexplained bruises or cuts
• Too much or too little medication.

Signs of elderly neglect

• No food at home
• Poor living conditions
• Unable to leave home
• Unattended health needs
• No access to required services
• Home is an unsuitable temperature.

Signs of elder sexual abuse

• Sudden STI
• Defence wounds
• Bowel incontinence
• Urinary incontinence
• Fear of a specific person
• Wounds around the genitalia.

Who is at risk of elder abuse?

One in six Australian seniors report facing elder abuse in the past year.

Abuse doesn’t discriminate – anyone can find themselves in an abusive situation. Being abused doesn’t define you or change your value.

Certain risk factors can make an older person more vulnerable to experiencing abuse.

Risk factors for elder abuse include:

• Having a disability
• Poor mental health
• Poor physical health
• Being socially isolated
• Living in rented accommodation
• Being single, separated, or divorced
• Owning a house with debt against it
• Coming from a First Nations background.

Men and women experience elder abuse at nearly the same rate.

Who commits elder abuse?

In Australia, one in two perpetrators of elder abuse are a family member of the victim.

The most common perpetrators of elder abuse are the older person’s adult children or children-in-law.

Friends, neighbours, other family members, caretakers, and service providers are also commonly reported as perpetrators in cases of elder abuse in Australia.

72% of victims of elder abuse reported that their main perpetrator suffered from problems of their own – typically mental health issues, financial problems, and physical health problems.

What protects people from elder abuse?

Certain lifestyle habits can help protect yourself or an older loved one from experiencing elder abuse.

These tips can help protect someone from elder abuse:

• Having peer support
• Seeing a financial counsellor
• Practising healthy relationships
• Seeking help from support services
• Being mentally and physically active
• Being outspoken about your wants and values
• Seeking legal advice before any major change or decisions

We provide more information about protecting yourself from elder abuse in this blog post.

What to do if you or a loved one are experiencing elder abuse

The Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service (EAPSS) provides free counselling and resources for seniors in Queensland. We can help explore your concerns and possible solutions in a safe, supportive environment.

You may also contact our hotline if you are worried about someone else or to confidentially report elderly abuse.

You can learn more about our Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service here, or call 1300 063 232.

Everyone, regardless of how old they are, deserves to feel safe and respected in their relationships.

If you’re feeling unsafe or scared around a specific family member, partner, friend, or caretaker, it’s critical to reach out for help. If there’s an older person you’re worried about, you may wish to reach out for help on their behalf or report the senior abuse they’re experiencing.

What happens when you reach out for help concerning elder abuse? In this article, we’ll outline what to expect when you contact our Senior Relationship Services hotline. To reach out for help or to report elder abuse in Queensland, please call the free Senior Relationship Services at 1300 262 032.

What happens when you reach out for help or report elder abuse?

When you’re experiencing abuse, reaching out can be hard – we understand, and support is available.

Our Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service (EAPSS) is a free service for seniors in Queensland. EAPSS provides support and assistance to those at risk of, or currently experiencing, elder abuse. This service offers individualised support and referrals.

EAPSS supports folks 60 or older who live in Queensland and are at risk or experiencing elder abuse (or 50 or older for First Nations Peoples).

Here’s what happens when you reach out for help for elder abuse with the free EAPSS:

1. Receiving help for elder abuse starts with a phone call to EAPSS at 1300 262 032.
   1. You may also be referred by police or social workers.
2. A member of our team will speak with you about how we can best support you.
3. You’ll fill out a client registration form.
4. A case manager will screen your eligibility for the service.
5. You’ll sign a client agreement and consent form.
6. Your case manager will book a free session for you.
7. In your first session, your case manager may help you with:
   1. A case plan
   2. A safety plan
   3. Achievable goals
   4. Referrals to legal practitioners
   5. Elder abuse prevention strategies
   6. Referrals to counselling or family mediation as required
   7. Referrals to other relevant services that may help you achieve your goals.
8. Throughout your EAPSS journey, your case manager will evaluate your progress on your goals and case plan.
9. The EAPSS will help you to reach your goals and act to ensure your safety, wellbeing, and your rights.

Tips for reaching out about elder abuse

Reaching out for help about abuse can feel difficult or scary. Here are some tips from our SRS case managers for your first call with our elder abuse hotline:

• If possible, call when it’s safe to talk
• We will always call back from a private number
• The counsellor can help create a safety plan for you
• We can connect you with relevant services, including crisis resources
• You can share as much or as little information as you feel comfortable with.

Thank you so much for helping. I feel like I can breathe a little. I really appreciate your help as I have never been in this situation before.

-EAPSS Client in Gladstone, QLD

Thank you so much, you understood what I was going through and were there for me. I now have a nurse who contacts me once a month. Your team was so nice to me, too.

-EAPSS Client in Mackay, QLD

My case manager helped so brilliantly. It seems like she’s the perfect person for the job.

-EAPSS Client in Gladstone, QLD

When I first spoke to you two years ago, I had already called six different organisations – you were the first who was able to point us in the right direction.

-EAPSS Client in Rockhampton, QLD

I’m doing well – trying to be strong with boundaries. I understand that my personal journey in healing will be a long one and I can’t heal if I keep letting the same things happen. You have been incredible; you saw me through some of the hardest weeks of my life and I’m so very grateful for that. I’m still seeing a trauma therapist every week, which is giving me new skills.

-EAPSS Client in Gold Coast, QLD

Signs of elder abuse

Elder abuse is any abuse against an older person. Elder abuse may be:

• Sexual
• Physical
• Financial
• Coercive control
• Psychological or emotional
• Abuse in the form of neglect.

Financial abuse is the most common type of elder abuse.

Some signs of elder abuse include:

• Making you afraid
• Physically harming you
• Bullying or severe criticism
• Pressure to change your will
• Missing money or belongings
• Anxiety about a specific person
• Your health needs being neglected
• Being stuck in poor living conditions
• Limited access to your own finances
• Having to ask someone else permission
• Coercing you to take on responsibilities
• Restricted access to necessities like medical appointments, medication, or food.

You can read more about the signs of elder abuse.

Support for those experiencing elder abuse is available

If you or an older loved one are experiencing elder abuse, the Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Services (EAPSS) provides free counselling and safety resources for seniors. Ring our senior abuse hotline for a free, confidential chat at 1300 262 032.

When your children grow up, it’s natural for your relationship with them to change.

However, if you’re arguing or experiencing conflict with your grown children, it can feel upsetting. You may feel disrespected or that your wants and needs aren’t being honoured.

In this blog post, we offer some tips on resolving conflict between you and your adult child, as well as how to identify elder abuse.

Find a safe time and place to chat

Time and place are critical when having a difficult conversation.

It’s ideal to start the conversation when both of you have enough time so that nobody feels rushed.

Sensitive conversations should be had somewhere private and comfortable for both parties. You may prefer to speak somewhere neutral, like a café or on a park bench, instead of one of your homes.

Communicate your feelings

Here are a few tips for healthy, effective communication:

• Calmly explain how you feel about the situation
• Aim to resolve the issue, not to be right or to win
• Actively listen to what the other person has to say
• Be aware of your nonverbal cues, such as gestures and facial expressions
• Write down everything you want to say ahead of time to help your chat be more effective
• Use “I” statements to avoid accusation – “I feel upset…” rather than “You make me upset…”

Here is a resource about positive communication with family members.

Exchange perspectives on the situation

Take the time to calmly explain how the conflict is affecting you. Listen and pay attention to your adult child’s point of view, too.

By having an open, honest conversation, you may learn something new about each other and can make headways in resolving your disagreement.

Set healthy boundaries

Boundaries establish how you’d like to be treated by others and how much you’re comfortable contributing to a relationship. They protect us emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Boundaries can be based off other people’s behaviours which make you uncomfortable. These behaviours may include unexpected visits to your home, phone calls at inappropriate times, or being asked to borrow money.

Examples of boundaries with adult children may include:

• Asking them to let you know at least a day before visiting
• Outlining a schedule of when you’re able to take phone calls
• Setting a limit on how much you will financially support them.

Compass offers a guide on setting boundaries with adult children and grandchildren.

Know your worth

Self-compassion can protect your mental health when you’re in the middle of a conflict with your adult child.

Your value doesn’t change because of your age or because your children are adults now. In fact, age brings many strengths, like wisdom and experience.

Your age is no excuse for someone to treat you differently – the mistreatment of older folks because of their age is called .

Attend family mediation

Mediation is a professionally guided meeting which helps families when they are arguing or having problems.

Family mediation provides an opportunity for open, honest conversations in a safe environment under the guidance of a mediator. Families can learn healthy ways to manage disagreements and develop plans to move forward from problems they may be having.

You can learn more about family mediation for older people and their families in our blog post, What is family mediation?.

Recognise the signs of elder abuse

If you feel unsafe doing any of the recommended conflict resolution tactics above, it’s important to learn the difference between a typical disagreement and elder abuse.

Adult children of the elderly victim are the most common perpetrators of elder abuse.

You may be experiencing elder abuse if:

• You are afraid or anxious around your adult child
• You need to ask permission from your adult child
• Your adult child is using threats or physical violence against you
• Your adult child is coercing you into responsibilities like babysitting
• Your adult child controls your finances or your access to medical care
• Your adult child is manipulating your relationship with your grandchildren.

You can learn more about abuse against older folks on our Understanding Elder Abuse page. The Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service (EAPSS) is here to support seniors in Queensland.

If you or an older person you know are in a conflict with an adult child, our experienced counsellors are here to help. We can help you explore your concerns and possible solutions in a safe, supportive environment.

You can learn more about our Senior Relationship Mediation Service here, or by calling 1300 063 232.

Want to receive updates on our Senior Relationship Services blog posts?

Every person, no matter how old they are, deserves to feel safe and cared about by their family, partner, friends, and carers.

Neglect is the failure to provide someone with necessities such as food, shelter, or medical care – or preventing someone from accessing these necessities.

The neglect of older people is a form of elder abuse.

In this blog post, we’ll discuss signs of elderly neglect, why seniors are vulnerable to neglect, and what resources are available for someone experiencing neglect.

1.      Inadequate clothing

Inadequate clothing may be clothes which are unclean, damaged, or inappropriate for the weather.

2.      Lack of medical or dental care

An older person lacking medical or dental care may indicate neglect.

Preventing someone from receiving care from anyone else, including healthcare providers, is an abusive behaviour.

Examples of lack of medical or dental care include:

• Tooth decay or cavities
• Missing or chipped teeth
• Consistent complaints of being in pain
• Sick, but has not gone to the doctor or received care
• An ongoing medical problem that is not being addressed.

3.      Absence of required medical aids or devices

Is the older person missing their required medical aids such as hearing aids, walker, dentures, or medication? These may be signs of neglect which need to be addressed immediately for the health and safety of the older person.

4.      Poor personal hygiene, unkempt appearance

Untended hygiene or appearance may include unbrushed hair, unbrushed teeth, dirty skin or nails, or body odour.

5.      Injuries that have not been properly cared for

Bleeding wounds, infections, or untreated broken bones can be a sign of neglect. In any case, the person is not receiving proper care and will require immediate support.

6.      Complaints of it being too hot or too cold in their home

If the older person is complaining about the temperature in their home, it may indicate there isn’t proper heating or air con, or that they are restricted from using these utilities.

Especially in Queensland, not using the air con can be extremely dangerous for older people. Usage of air con and fans should not be restricted.

7.      Living in unsafe, unhealthy, dangerous, or unsanitary living conditions

Improper living conditions may include:

• Mould
• Unsecure entryways
• Broken or faulty alarms
• Damage to the home that has not been addressed
• A disabled person living in a home that isn’t disability-friendly.

8.      Unexplained weight loss, dehydration, poor skin integrity, or malnutrition

These signs may indicate neglect in the form of improper nutrition. A carer should provide, or ensure access to, enough healthy food and clean drinking water.

What makes older people vulnerable to neglect?

Sometimes older people become less able or unable to look after themselves. It’s normal for an older person to depend on someone else for care, such as a family member, aged care staff, or a hired caretaker.

When one person is dependent on another, there is unfortunately potential for abuse and neglect.

The person experiencing abuse may be afraid to reach out for help, or may not even realise they’re being abused. That’s why we should all look out for these signs of neglect in our older loved ones.

Support is available

Did you know that one in six older Australians have experienced abuse in the past year? However, only one in three seek help.

There is no shame in reaching out for support.

The Senior Relationship Services (SRS) offer free support and referrals to older Queenslanders. Our Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service (EAPSS) helps older folks who are experiencing elder abuse, including neglect.

If you or an older person you know may be a victim of elder abuse, our experienced staff are here to help. We can help you explore your concerns and possible solutions in a safe and supportive environment.

You can learn more about our Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service here, or call 1300 063 232.

Want to receive updates on our Senior Relationship Services blog posts?

One in six older Australians report experiencing elder abuse in the past year.

Certain factors can affect one’s vulnerability to abuse.

Here are some lifestyle habits that can help protect yourself or an older loved one from experiencing elder abuse.

Having peer support

Connecting with similar-aged people under professional guidance can be beneficial for preventing and overcoming elder abuse.

Benefits of being in a peer support group include:

• Referrals to helpful resources
• Having a safe space to talk openly
• Becoming educated and informed about ageing
• Getting advice from both peers and professionals
• Connecting with others who are in a similar stage of life.

The Senior Social Connection Program (SSCP) provides peer support to older people in Southeast Queensland.

The Queensland Government website lists senior peer groups offered across the state.

Seeing a financial counsellor

In Queensland, financial abuse is the most common type of elder abuse.

A financial counsellor can help you to protect your money and assets.

The Senior Financial Protection Service (SFPS) is a free program for older Queenslanders. The SFPS provides community education on protecting your finances in older age.

Practising healthy relationships

Healthy, respectful relationships with loved ones is a key protective factor for older people at risk of abuse.

If you want to improve a relationship with a loved one, you may consider mediation. Mediation provides a safe space for constructive conversations under professional guidance.

Elder abuse is most often inflicted by an adult child. If you feel anxious or unsafe around one of your children, we offer some advice here.

Seeking help from support services

If you or an older loved one may be experiencing elder abuse, there’s no shame in asking for help.

There is help available for anyone at risk of elder abuse, including:

• Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service
• Seniors legal and support service
• Elder Abuse Helpline
• DVConnect

These free services provide safe support that prioritises the wellbeing of the older person.

Being mentally and physically active

Those with good physical and mental health are less likely to experience elder abuse. For example, poor physical health may lead to increased dependency, which can raise the risk of elder abuse.

Activities like yoga, walking, gardening, arts and crafts, and brain games or puzzles can benefit the mind and the body.

You may want to consider your capacity to own a pet, as pets can increase opportunities for getting outdoors, social interaction, and physical activity.

Being outspoken about your wants and values

Make sure that those important to you know your wants and your values.

Some ways to make sure your wishes are known include:

• Writing a will
• Creating an emergency plan
• Completing an advance health directive
• Having important conversations with family
• Setting up an Enduring Power of Attorney (EPOA).

When you are vocal about what you want, loved ones can more effectively help you when you need it.

Seeking legal advice before any major change

You should seek professional and legal advice before making any major life changes. These changes may include moving in with family, selling property, or setting up an EPOA.

You can find free legal advice for seniors from Community Legal Centres Queensland.

If an agreement is made, make sure it is in writing.

If you or an older person you know may be a victim of elder abuse, our experienced counsellors are here to help. We can help you explore your concerns and possible solutions in a safe and supportive environment.

You can learn more about our Elder Abuse Prevention and Support Service here, or call 1300 063 232.

Want to receive updates on our Senior Relationship Services blog posts?

An Enduring Power of Attorney (EPOA) gives someone else the legal power to make health and financial decisions on your behalf. Misusing an EPOA against an older person is a form of elder abuse called financial abuse.

In this blog post, we will give some examples of EPOA misuse, and provide information about protecting yourself against financial elder abuse.

When is an EPOA considered misuse?

An EPOA should be used to protect a person’s independence, control, and finances. An EPOA allows someone else (referenced to as your “attorney”) to make financial decisions on your behalf.

When you give someone enduring power of attorney, you must have the capacity to understand exactly what power you are giving to that person. Queensland requires that the person should be making the EPOA voluntarily, not under the pressure of someone else.

An EPOA may unintentionally be misused when:

• They combine their spending with yours
• Transaction records are missing or inaccurate
• They make decisions according to their own values, not yours
• They do not consult you about financial decisions being made on your behalf.

For example, the person may pay in one transaction when you are doing your shopping together, then forget to transfer funds accordingly. Another example may include a family member with good intentions to protect you from being scammed or exploited.

An EPOA may be intentionally misused when:

• Other signs of elder abuse are present
• Transactions and records do not add up
• They pay their own bills with your money
• Decisions are made under coercion and control
• Someone is limiting your access to your own money
• Someone else is pressuring you to make them your EPOA
• They make decisions according to their own values, not yours
• Someone is gaslighting you to convince you that you cannot make financial decisions.

How to mitigate misuse of an EPOA

If you have decision-making capacity, you can revoke your own EPOA at any time.

In the case of an unintentional misuse, you can take steps to prevent this happening moving forward:

• Discuss your values and priorities
• Write down clear decision-making steps
• Ask that all receipts are kept and filed together
• Request to be more involved in decision-making
• Create instructions for how decisions should be made
• Request that the attorney not combine their purchases with yours
• Appoint a second attorney to act either jointly with or independently of the first.

If you feel you are a victim of financial abuse through an EPOA, contact a financial advisor. Our Senior Financial Protection Service provides free help to older adults who are experiencing or at risk of experiencing financial elder abuse.

How to create an EPOA to protect yourself

You may wish to create an EPOA to protect your finances. There are steps that you can take so that your EPOA can reduce your risk of financial abuse or exploitation.

These steps can help your EPOA to protect you:

• Be involved in decision-making
• Appoint multiple independent attorneys
• Have a file for receipts and transaction records
• Create processes for shared or combined expenses
• Provide clear, detailed instructions to your attorney
• Create instructions for how decisions should be made
• Ensure your attorney understands your values and priorities.

Compass offers a comprehensive guide on creating an EPOA.

Our Senior Financial Protection Service (SFPS) can provide older individuals with free financial guidance in a safe, supportive environment.

You can learn more about our Senior Financial Protection Service here, or call 1300 063 232.

Want to receive updates on our Senior Relationship Services blog posts?