Category: Domestic and family violence

Does your partner make you feel guilty, insecure, intimidated, or dependent on them? You could be in a controlling relationship.

A controlling relationship is one where one person uses manipulation and intimidation to create an unequal power dynamic or ‘have the upper hand’ in their relationship.

While it may be harder to identify than physical violence, coercive control is still a dangerous form of domestic abuse – and it’s been criminalised in many Australian states.

It’s not always easy to know whether you’re in a controlling relationship, especially because the person using control will often gaslight their victim into thinking they’re being dramatic or too sensitive.

“Coercive control usually develops gradually over time,” RAQ Clinical Supervisor Angela explains.

“It works by getting you to question your perspective and second-guess yourself. If you question the behaviours, your partner makes you feel it’s your fault you feel uncomfortable, or you’re overreacting.”

Angela explores control in relationships and shares more insights in this blog post, including:

• Examples of controlling behaviours
• Reasons people use control in relationships
• Impacts of control on survivors
• Advice for people experiencing control in their relationship.

 

Examples of Controlling Behaviours

Coercive control is a form of abuse in and of itself. It can exist on its own without any physical abuse in the relationship, and this may be why it wasn’t legally recognised as abuse until recently. But while it may be harder to identify, coercive control can be just as dangerous and damaging as other forms of abuse.

Coercive control always includes emotional and psychological abuse, and usually creates fear. Over time, it can escalate into physical or lethal forms of abuse, especially if it’s challenged or the controlling person feels they’re losing their control.

In many relationships, it exists alongside physical violence right from the start, and this possibility should always be considered, even if the public face of the controlling person is charming and protective.

These are just some examples of controlling behaviours in a relationship that may or may not be present alongside other forms of abuse (e.g. physical or sexual).

Punishing you when they’re upset – This might include withholding affection, giving you the ‘cold shoulder’, yelling, or talking in a chilling tone if they don’t get their own way.

Checking up on you – Excessively texting or calling you, asking who you’re with and when you’ll be home when you’re out of the house.

Monitoring your activity – Tracking you with apps on your phone, putting surveillance technology on your car, devices or home without your permission and knowledge (stalking).

Isolating you from friends and family – Telling you who you can and can’t speak to, making friends and family uncomfortable when they visit, insisting they join you at social gatherings.

Overactive jealousy and accusations – Making it difficult for you to be friends with anyone of the opposite sex, questioning you about colleagues and assuming you’re having an affair, talking about your behaviour or way of dressing as flirtatious and calling you derogatory names.

Making you feel like you’re on eggshells – Overreacting to differences of opinion you might have, so you start to worry about what you should say and do in their presence.

Regulating your appearance – This could range from making comments such as “That’s a short dress” to outright telling you what you can and can’t wear or how to do your hair or makeup.

Making all the decisions for the household – This might include financial decisions, deciding whether you work or not, whether you can get pregnant or not, what hobbies and activities you can take part in, or insisting on their rules and standards for parenting.

Making you feel incompetent – They might want you to feel like you need them. They might criticise how you do things and take charge, telling you their decisions are for your own good and they know what’s best for you.

Restricting your autonomy – This might include restricting your access to money, transport, or the internet, or discouraging you from working or studying.

Playing pranks or intentionally upsetting you – Doing risky or dangerous activities with you (and/or children, if relevant) and then laughing at your fears.

Regulating your sexual relationship – Determining the type and frequency of sexual activity and calling you names, putting you down or hurting you if you say no.

Gaslighting – Twisting your words or manipulating a situation to get their own way, telling you you’re remembering things wrong and making you question your reality, or telling you you’re overreacting or being dramatic if you get upset by their behaviour.

 

Why do people use control in relationships?

There are many reasons why someone might assert power and control in their relationship, but a lot of the time, controlling behaviour is a result of fear or insecurity.

Rather than using communication and healthy coping skills, a perpetrator might try to control their partner to protect themselves from hurt or rejection. They only feel safe when they can control everything around them, and they lack the empathy to see that the needs of others may also be important.

Angela discusses some of the most common reasons a person may use controlling behaviours here:

Gendered core beliefs – In heterosexual relationships, the male perpetrator may hold what we call ‘gendered core beliefs’. These beliefs belittle women and see men as superior in physical strength and intellect. Men with these beliefs often think they have the right to control and make use of others in a self-serving manner.

A sense of entitlement – Feeling that they’re superior to others and deserve special treatment because of such things as race, gender, intellect, celebrity status, sporting ability, wealth, status in the political or business world, and cultural and religious beliefs. They feel that it’s their right to take or demand what they want and become angry if this is challenged.

A lack of empathy for the impact of their behaviour on their partner and family.

Protecting themselves from perceived threats – This might be a result of mental health issues or past traumatic experiences that resulted in PTSD or complex trauma.

Fear of losing the relationship – This can be due to previous experiences of difficult relationships, previous infidelity in parents or partner, or childhood abuse. They then lack the communication and healthy relationship skills needed to manage their concerns.

Unhealthy societal beliefs – They might believe in social myths such as ‘the right to have sexual needs met’, that ‘women/other genders can’t be trusted’, and that ‘if I feel someone is going to hurt me, I have a right to fight back in whatever way I can.’

Addiction – Some people use controlling or manipulative behaviours in their relationship to protect an addiction that has a hold on their life (e.g. alcohol, drugs, gambling, porn).

Inability to cope – Many perpetrators have a lack of healthy coping skills in managing anxiety, stress, or frustrations, and exerting control is a way to hold onto the lifestyle or people they view as belonging to them.

 

Impacts of Controlling Relationships on Survivors

Controlling behaviours can be intentional or unintentional, but either way they can have a devastating impact on the partner, children, and their relationships. Some of the impacts can include:

• Reduced self-esteem and confidence
• Feelings of embarrassment, shame, guilt, failure, and worthlessness
• Withdrawal from the people and things you used to enjoy
• Impacted or lost relationships with friends and family
• Impacted ability to parent and relationships with children
• Feeling like you’re constantly living in fear or ‘fight or flight’
• Becoming short-tempered and irritable with others
• Mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, PTSD
• Physical health conditions such as poor immunity, illnesses, headaches, stomach aches, or changes in eating and sleeping.

 

Advice for People Experiencing Control in their Relationship

Angela offers a few tips for anyone feeling controlled by their partner.

Confide in someone you trust

Speaking to a trusted friend or family member is particularly important if you feel unsafe at times or worried for yourself or another member of your family.

Be aware that if you’re experiencing controlling behaviour, your children or other vulnerable members of your family (including elderly parents) are also exposed to this behaviour, and it will impact on their lives as well.

Consider acting early

Dealing with issues when you first notice them might not only improve your relationship, but may also help prevent the behaviour from becoming more frequent or severe and reduce the impact on your children’s development.

There may be certain situations where seeking professional help as soon as possible is the safest option.

Is your partner’s behaviour dangerous for you, your dependants, and your mental health? For example, do you and/or your children feel frightened and on eggshells around your partner?

Is your partner unpredictable? Do they have other issues with alcohol or substance abuse, or significant gambling issues?

Does your partner suggest that you have mental health issues, or twist your words to make you question your reality?

If these things are happening, Angela strongly advises you seek counselling or talk a domestic violence service as soon as possible. There are many different support options available, including websites, helplines, and online counselling.

Get support if you plan to separate

If you plan to separate, be prepared with good supports and a safety plan, as well as professional counselling or legal support, or consider the possibility of a Domestic Violence Order.

Be aware that if you’ve protected your children from the worst effects, they may be surprised when you choose to separate. A controlling person can use this against you, so it’s important to prepare your children for separation to help them process these big changes.

It’s also important to remember that controlling behaviour may not stop if you separate – it can even become more severe in different forms. For example, stalking, harassment through your children, trying to turn your children against you, and ongoing family court battles are some of the common controlling behaviours partners can use when their victim decides to leave. This is why it’s so important to get help even if you’re in the early stages of thinking about separating.

Seek professional help

Counselling or therapy can help you get a better understanding of what’s happening. Counselling can be a particularly helpful option to find solutions for your relationship if the control doesn’t cause you fear.

It can help you explore if relationship counselling may be appropriate, or if encouraging  your partner to get counselling or attend a men’s behaviour change group may be useful (if relevant).

If you or someone you know is living with a controlling or abusive partner, help is available.

You can call us on 1300 364 277 for guidance finding the right support for you, or learn about our Domestic and Family Violence Prevention service here.

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811

DVConnect Mensline: 1800 600 636

Sexual Assault Helpline: 1800 010 120

Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800

Lifeline: 13 11 14

If you believe you or your children are in immediate danger, please call 000.

Relationships can be challenging. But they can be even more difficult if you’re (unintentionally) being emotionally abusive or have picked up some unhealthy habits – possibly from childhood – without realising it.

Catching these behaviours early is important if you want to have a healthy, positive relationship and avoid hurting your partner further.

There’s been a spotlight on emotional abuse and coercive control over recent years, and this has increased with the Queensland government’s recent announcement to criminalise coercive control by the end of 2023.

But what exactly counts as emotional abuse and/or coercive control?

We explore some of these behaviours to help you better understand these dangerous forms of abuse.

If you recognise these behaviours in yourself, you might like to consider seeing a counsellor to help you make changes and address any underlying issues that might be contributing.

 

You guilt your partner for spending time with others

A healthy relationship requires each individual to maintain their own lives, friends, interests, and connections outside of the relationship.

Guilting your partner for spending time with others or trying to control who they spend time with or talk to is emotional abuse.

 

You keep tabs on where your partner is and who they’re with

Do you check in on your partner with excessive texts and calls when you’re apart? Do you constantly ask what they’re doing and who they’re with?

Jealousy and insecurity in a relationship can lead to controlling behaviours such as keeping tabs on your partner and wanting to reduce their contact with the outside world.

 

You check their messages or emails without permission

People often go through their partner’s phone because they’re worried about what secrets they might be hiding.

But reading your partner’s texts, emails, or call log only perpetuates more secretive behaviour in the relationship.

This is a violation of privacy and may be an indication of trust issues.

 

You dismiss your partner’s feelings

In a healthy relationship, both people’s feelings and needs are considered equally important.

Not allowing your partner to speak in arguments, trivialising the things that are important to them, ignoring their needs, invalidating their concerns, and dismissing their feelings as “dramatic” are all forms of emotional abuse.

 

You’re critical of your partner, even as a “joke”

This might include belittling your partner’s accomplishments or interests, making sarcastic jokes about their looks or behaviour, calling them names, putting them down, and insulting them. You might even do this as a “joke” around friends to embarrass them.

While some couples have a playful dynamic that involves some harmless teasing, there’s a big difference between banter and abuse.

Are you helping to build your partner’s self-esteem, or are you harming it?

 

You comment on your partner’s clothing and/or appearance

Everyone has the right to wear what they like and present themselves as they like.

For decades, we’ve seen the “You’re not going out wearing that, are you?” trope on TV – generally between a man and his female partner when she’s wearing a short or figure-hugging outfit.

This is a way to assert control and is often because he’s insecure and worried about the attention she’ll get.

It’s never OK to tell someone what they can and can’t wear, what hairstyle they should have, what they should do with their body hair, or whether they should lose weight – no matter their gender.

 

You “punish” your partner

This might involve giving them the “silent treatment” or withholding affection until you get your way.

While the silent treatment can simply be a sign of poor communication skills, it can also be a manipulation tactic in emotionally abusive relationships.

These kinds of emotional and psychological punishments can be used to pressure someone to change their behaviour, and it can also make them feel like your love is conditional.

 

You make all the decisions

It’s not uncommon for relationships to have a dynamic where one person “wears the pants” if that’s what works for both people. But each partner must at least consider their spouse when making decisions.

In a healthy relationship, the decisions are made equally and mutually with respect to both parties.

Disregarding your partner’s input and preferences or refusing to compromise are forms of emotional abuse.

 

You “play nice” in public

Do you treat your partner differently around friends and family than you do when you’re alone?

You might portray yourself as charming, kind, and caring when in public, yet disrespectful, uncaring, and unkind behind closed doors.

If you’d be embarrassed or ashamed for your loved ones to see how you treat your partner in private, it could be a red flag for abuse.

 

Where to get help

These are just some of the ways emotional abuse can be used in a relationship.

If these behaviours sound familiar, the good news is you can change.

Identifying these unhealthy patterns in yourself is the first step to having healthier interactions and a better connection with your partner.

Our counsellors can help you identify and address any underlying issues within yourself that may contribute to these patterns and dynamics.

Counselling appointments can be booked by calling 1300 364 277.

People experiencing emotional abuse often don’t realise they’re in an abusive relationship. Learning more about these behaviours can help validate their experience and empower them to make change.

You can learn more about emotional abuse in our blog post What’s an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

Relationships Australia Queensland CEO Ian Law shares a message ahead of Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Month 2022.

 

Each May, Queensland acknowledges Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Month (DFVP Month).

DFVP Month raises awareness of domestic and family violence (DFV) and sends a clear message that DFV in families and homes will not be tolerated.

Data from the Queensland Government shows Queensland has experienced a 17% increase in domestic violence offences since the COVID-19 pandemic. Men’s violence against women continues to be an issue in Queensland and all of Australia.

DFV has devastating impacts on individuals, families, and the community, and addressing it is everyone’s responsibility.

Everyone has the right to feel safe and free from abuse in their home and relationships – whether that abuse is physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, financial, social, or any other behaviour that is controlling or coercive.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic and family violence or feeling unsafe at home, help is available – online, over the phone, and in person.

Relationships Australia Queensland offers a comprehensive range of counselling and support services for people affected by domestic and family violence, and those who use power and control within their families.

You can learn more about our Domestic and Family Violence Prevention services here, or call 1300 364 277 for help finding the right support for your situation.

Not all domestic abuse is physical, and some types of abuse can be hard to recognise. In fact, some people can live in an abusive relationship for years and not realise they’re experiencing abuse.

Coercive control is a type of domestic abuse that can be harder to identify than some other types of abuse. It refers to a pattern of behaviours used by an abuser to control their partner and create an uneven power dynamic.

Coercive control generally involves manipulation and intimidation to make a victim scared, isolated, and dependent on the abuser.

You may have heard this term in the news and media a lot recently. This is because there has been a push to make coercive control illegal under reforms to domestic violence laws across Australia. The Queensland Government is set to criminalise coercive control in the state by 2025.

In this blog post, we’ll explore some examples of coercive control and how you can get help if you live with domestic and family abuse of any kind.

 

Examples of Coercive Control

These are just some common ways coercive control might be used in an intimate relationship.

Isolating from friends and family

A controlling person or abuser may try to get their partner to reduce or cut contact with their support network. Keeping them away from family and friends can make the victim easier to control.

The abuser might try to prevent them from going to social events or being alone with their support network in case they talk about issues in the relationship while the abuser isn’t around. The abuser may also prevent them from going to work or school.

Monitoring activity

This might involve wanting to know where the victim is and who they’re with at all times, or calling and texting excessively when apart. It also includes reading emails, texts, and social media messages without the victim’s permission.

Extreme cases might involve placing cameras or recording devices in the victim’s home or car, or tracking them with GPS and spy software. This is also considered stalking and harassment.

Restricting autonomy

The abuser’s main goal is to take the victim’s freedom and independence away from them. They might do this by removing or restricting the victim’s access to a vehicle or public transport, hiding their devices, or changing passwords on their devices and online accounts.

Controlling the body

It’s common for a controlling partner to not only want to control how their victim behaves, but also how they look. They might dictate what the victim can and can’t wear, what they eat and drink, how they groom and present themselves, and how often they exercise.

They might even comment on how much or little the victim sleeps or whether they should seek medical care or not.

Degradation

The abuser will aim to damage the victim’s self-esteem in order to gain control over them and prevent them from leaving the relationship.

Abusers might call their victim names, insult them, constantly criticise how they do things, bully and belittle them. They might also put them down in front of others but pass it off as “only joking”. Over time, even small jabs will eat away at the victim’s self-worth.

Financial control

Coercive control can involve financial abuse, where the abuser withholds or limits access to money. They might provide the victim with an ‘allowance’ and/or control how money can be spent.

Limiting the victim’s access to money can make it even harder for them to leave the relationship as they may feel financially dependent on the abuser. This is especially common when children are involved.

Jealousy and possessiveness

A little jealousy in a relationship isn’t uncommon, but in an abusive relationship, the abuser might constantly accuse the victim of cheating to control them. This can make the victim feel guilty about spending time away from them, or simply make them avoid going to social events because they don’t want to deal with the accusations.

Controlling partners often act jealous and possessive to reduce their victim’s contact with the outside world.

Threats and intimidation

This might involve threats to the victim’s own safety or that of their children, pets, property, friends or family.

The abuser will use threats or intimidation to scare the victim into doing what the abuser wants.

We further discuss power and control in relationships in our blog post The Problem with Power in Relationships.

 

How to Get Support

If you or someone you know is living with a controlling or abusive partner, help is available. You can call us on 1300 364 277 for guidance finding the right support for you, or learn about our Domestic and Family Violence Prevention service here.

 

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811

DVConnect Mensline: 1800 600 636

Sexual Assault Helpline: 1800 010 120

Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800

Lifeline: 13 11 14

If you believe you or your children are in immediate danger, please call 000.

The term ‘gaslighting’ has become popular in recent years, but this behaviour has been common among abusers for centuries.

Gaslighting is a form of abuse used to manipulate and control the victim. It can be so subtle the victim might not even realise it’s happening. But as sneaky as it can be, gaslighting can be just as damaging as physical abuse.

Learn more about this toxic tactic and how to spot it in your relationships.

 

What does ‘gaslighting’ mean?

The term ‘gaslighting’ comes from the 1938 play Gas Light, and the 1944 film adaptation of the play, Gaslight. In this story, a husband tricks his wife into thinking she’s losing her mind so he can commit her to a mental institution and steal her inheritance.

He does this by making her think she’s hearing things that aren’t there, and dimming and brightening their gas-fuelled lights and telling her she’s hallucinating.

Today, we recognise gaslighting as a form of emotional or psychological abuse that involves manipulation, lies, denial and blame to make someone question their perception of reality or their memory. It’s almost like a type of brainwashing that makes the victim feel confused and start to second-guess their own judgement.

 

Examples of Gaslighting

Gaslighting can be hard to pick up on, especially if you’ve been experiencing it for a long time. In an intimate relationship, the gaslighter generally uses these tactics to control their partner and/or to get away with certain behaviours.

Here are some common examples of gaslighting:

• Your partner tells you they’ll be home by 6pm. When they get home at 10pm, you ask why they’re late as you were expecting them at 6pm. They deny having ever told you they’d be home at 6pm, saying you made it up or questioning your memory: “You never remember things correctly!”
• Your partner makes a nasty comment about your weight. When you get upset, they say you’re being too sensitive or overreacting, or you can’t take a joke. They might even counter by saying something like: “You know I love your body.”
• Your partner leaves the room to answer their phone. You overhear them flirting and making plans with someone. When you confront them about it, they lie and say it was just their mum, and you’re jealous and crazy.

These are just some examples of how a partner might use gaslighting to make someone doubt themselves and get what they want.

If you’re experiencing or using manipulative or controlling behaviours in your relationship, it might help to speak to a professional counsellor. RAQ’s tertiary qualified counsellors can help you explore your concerns and consider your options in a supportive and non-judgemental environment.

Call 1300 364 277 to book an appointment in person, over the phone or via Zoom videocall.

Support is available for those affected by domestic and family violence.

Domestic and family violence is a complex and pervasive issue. It is never acceptable. Everyone deserves to feel safe in public and at home.

It is important to understand that the signs are not always obvious. Domestic and family violence is not always physical and can take many forms, including emotional, sexual, financial, social, spiritual, verbal, psychological or technology-based abuse.

You can find more information about domestic and family violence and different forms of abuse online at www.qld.gov.au/dfvsupport.

It is everyone’s responsibility to address this form of violence in our communities and work together to keep Queenslanders safe. If something doesn’t seem right, your support and action can make a difference. If you think you or someone you know may be experiencing domestic and family violence, reach out for support.

In an emergency, call Triple Zero (000) and ask for Police.

Call DVConnect for free, confidential crisis support.

DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24/7)

DVConnect Mensline: 1800 600 636 (7 days, 9am to midnight)

When you think of domestic and family abuse, chances are verbal abuse and physical violence come to mind. But financial abuse can be just as damaging, taking away people’s independence and leaving them feeling vulnerable, isolated, and depressed.

Research shows nearly 16% of women and over 7% of men in Australia have experienced financial abuse in their lifetime. It’s the most commonly reported form of abuse of older adults.

But financial abuse can happen to anyone. The abuser might be a partner, family member, friend, or caregiver. Financial abuse and control might be used alongside other forms of domestic and family violence to keep a survivor trapped in an unhealthy relationship, but it can also be present without these other behaviours.

This hidden and often misunderstood form of abuse can take many forms. Learn how to recognise the signs of financial abuse and how you can protect yourself and others.

 

Signs of Financial Abuse

Financial abuse includes any situation where someone that you trust takes away your access to money, manipulates your financial decisions, or uses your money or assets without your consent.

Tactics used might include:

• Taking control of someone else’s money (e.g. being in charge of all the household income and paying the other person an allowance)
• Controlling how money is spent
• Withholding money from someone
• Taking money or credit cards from someone without their permission
• Selling someone’s assets without their permission
• Forging someone’s signature on financial documents
• Forcing or pressuring someone to change their Will
• Threatening or punishing someone for how they spend their money
• Withholding someone’s financial statement or bank account details from them
• Taking out a loan, credit card, or bank account in someone else’s name
• Ruining someone else’s credit
• Refusing to contribute to shared living costs
• Refusing to repay money they’ve borrowed
• Preventing someone from getting a job or going to work
• Preventing someone from studying.

These are just some financially abusive behaviours. Financial abuse can be harder to spot than some other forms of domestic and family violence.

The person causing the abuse might use subtle tactics like manipulation, and not even recognise that their actions or behaviours are abusive. Others might be more overt, using intimidation, demands, and threats.

 

How to Get Help for Financial Abuse

If you or someone you know is experiencing financial abuse, free and confidential help is available.

RAQ provides counselling and other support services for anyone experiencing financial abuse or any other concerns in their relationship, family, or other aspect of their personal life.

We also offer our Senior Financial Protection Service (SFPS) to older persons who might be at risk of financial abuse. The SFPS provides support through referrals to those already impacted by financial abuse, and in some instances, offers financial case management.

You can call our client contact centre on 1300 364 277 to discuss which of our services can best support you.

Please note we are not a crisis service. If you need urgent help, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

If you believe you or your children are in immediate danger, please call 000.

Domestic and family violence has a significant impact on the health and wellbeing of survivors and witnesses.

The effects of domestic violence go beyond physical marks and injuries. The mental and emotional consequences can endure long after bruises have healed, and even after the abusive relationship has ended.

Every form of domestic and family violence can have considerable immediate and long-lasting impacts. Physical, psychological, sexual, financial, and all other types of abuse can be just as damaging to the health and wellbeing of survivors and witnesses.

While the impacts of domestic violence vary widely from person to person, these are some of the common effects of domestic violence.

If you believe you or your children are in immediate danger, please call 000.

 

Physical Effects of Domestic Violence

Physical abuse such as hitting can lead to injuries and marks, but it can also have indirect impacts on survivors’ physical health. Even domestic abuse that doesn’t involve physical violence can lead to serious physical health issues for survivors.

Some physical impacts of domestic abuse might include:

• Bruises
• Scratches or cuts
• Red or purple marks at the neck
• Sprained or broken wrists/other bones
• Chronic fatigue
• Shortness of breath
• Fainting
• Headaches
• Muscle tension
• Involuntary shaking
• Changes in eating and sleeping patterns
• Sexual dysfunction
• Menstrual cycle or fertility issues (in women).

 

Mental and Emotional Effects of Domestic Violence

The trauma of domestic and family violence can result in ongoing mental and emotional impacts for survivors. These mental and emotional effects can last long after the abuse ends and can impact subsequent relationships.

Research shows survivors of domestic abuse are three times more likely to suffer from mental illness such as depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder.

Mental and emotional impacts of domestic violence might include:

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, and uncontrollable thoughts
• Depression, including prolonged sadness
• Anxiety and stress
• Low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness
• Suicidal thoughts or attempts
• Shame and embarrassment
• Increased likelihood of alcohol and drug misuse
• Hopelessness about the present and the future
• Inability to trust in other relationships.

 

Effects on Children Who Witness Domestic Violence

Exposure to domestic and family violence can have long-lasting, challenging impacts on a child, even if they haven’t experienced the violence firsthand. These effects might include:

• Anxiety and stress
• Depression
• Fearfulness
• Changes in eating and sleeping patterns
• Headaches
• Fainting
• Inability to trust
• Trouble concentrating
• Relationship problems
• Academic problems
• Reckless behaviours (e.g. drug and alcohol misuse).

Children who witness violence between parents/caretakers may also be at greater risk of using violence in their future relationships.

 

You can learn more about the types of domestic and family violence, how to create a safety plan, and where to find help here.

RAQ offers a range of counselling and support services for people affected by domestic and family violence and those who use power and control within their families. Learn more about these services and how to access them here.

 

Support Contacts

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811

DVConnect Mensline: 1800 600 636

Sexual Assault Helpline: 1800 010 120

Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800

Lifeline: 13 11 14

If you believe you or your children are in immediate danger, please call 000.