Category: Mental Health

Who am I? What do I want to do with my life? What is my purpose?

These are all common questions asked during a quarter-life crisis.

Much like a midlife crisis, a quarter-life crisis can bring uncertainty, questioning, and intense soul-searching. It generally sets in during the early twenties and may last into the early thirties.

During a quarter-life crisis, you might experience anxiety around your identity, career path, and general place in the world – along with a sense of urgency and panic to figure it all out.

Some of the common factors that can trigger a quarter-life crisis might include graduating university, moving out of home, job searching or career planning, and comparison to peers.

While your twenties and thirties are thought to be some of the best years of your life, it’s normal to experience periods of uncertainty and anxiety around your goals, plans, and life direction.

We hope this advice helps if you’re experiencing a quarter-life crisis.

Quarter-life crisis symptoms

If you’re preoccupied with questions or worries about your choices and future, you may be experiencing a quarter-life crisis.

Here are some other common signs of a quarter-life crisis.

Feeling restless and craving change

Are you feeling antsy in your everyday routine? Struggling to concentrate or find satisfaction in the things you used to enjoy? You might feel like you’ve been on autopilot and need excitement and change – whether it’s to your appearance, your environment, or your hobbies.

Feeling directionless

It may seem that everyone around you has a calling and a plan mapped out for their future, while you feel lost and directionless. You may feel pressure to choose how you want your future to look, and fear that you’ll make the ‘wrong’ decision.

Being overwhelmed by decisions

Having options is generally a good thing, but it’s easy to get overwhelmed by possibilities during a quarter-life crisis. You might struggle to make decisions or feel the stakes are higher, spending more time than usual considering all the outcomes.

Feeling like you’re falling behind your peers

You might look at where your friends and peers are in life and worry you’re falling behind. Comparing your journey or ‘progress’ to others can be a major sign of – or trigger for – a quarter-life crisis.

Feeling like you’re trapped

Whether it’s a relationship, a job, or even a town, you might feel stuck in a situation or commitment you’re not happy with. You might spend time going over the pros and cons of making a change or focusing on the reasons why you’re stuck. For example, you might feel your current role is the only job you’re qualified for, or you can’t afford to relocate to a new area.

Feeling like you’re running out of time

During a quarter-life crisis, you might fear you’re running out of time to tick off all the things you’d wanted to do. Maybe you had a timeline or an age in mind for marriage and children, or to tick some travel off your bucket list, and not meeting those milestones has you feeling your ideal future slip away.

How to get through a quarter-life crisis

If you’re having a tough time dealing with anxiety and questioning around who you are and what you’re doing with your life, these strategies might help.

Remember it’s normal

Quarter-life crises are common. Chances are even your most ‘put together’ peers have experienced some uncertainty and insecurity around their identity and life choices too. Remind yourself that a quarter-life crisis is a shared experience for many people in their twenties and thirties, and you probably have some friends who can relate.

Stop comparing

Don’t lose your gratitude for all the good in your life by comparing your situation to others’. Comparison sets us up for failure and dissatisfaction, feeding negativity and resentment. Remember that everyone is different and there’s no one-size-fits-all template for a happy life. There’s only one of you, and your life is going to reflect your unique experiences and personality.

Prioritise self-reflection

Take time to get to know yourself. You might do this by meditating, journalling, doing self-discovery activities, or seeing a counsellor. Determining what’s important to you can help you make choices that align with your values. This will help you build a future that brings you fulfilment and happiness – whatever that looks like to you.

Make a plan

Once you’ve become more self-aware and in tune with your thoughts and feelings, you may be able to start answering some of the questions you’ve pondered during your quarter-life crisis. Find a time when you’re in a relaxed and positive headspace and list some of the short-term and long-term goals you’d like to achieve and the steps to get there. This can help you become more focused and confident in doing what’s right for you.

Be patient as you figure it out

Whatever your journey, there are always going to be bumps along the way. That’s just a part of being human. There’s no rush to have all the answers, and it’s fine (and normal!) to change direction as you learn and grow. Be patient with yourself while you work it out.

Seek professional support

If you’re having persistent anxiety about your future or your concerns are impacting your daily life, it might help to speak to a counsellor. Our experienced counsellors offer a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings and help you find solutions and coping strategies.

You can learn more about our counselling service here, or call 1300 364 277 to book an appointment in person, over the phone, or via Zoom video call.

We offer tips to silence your inner critic in this blog post.

Solitude can be relaxing and restorative, but prolonged social isolation can cause our mental and physical health to suffer.

Research has proven loneliness is just as bad for us as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. And unfortunately, loneliness is on the rise in Australia.

Many circumstances can cause people to become isolated or to choose to isolate themselves from others.

We explore some of the factors and situations that may lead to social isolation here.

Mental Health Issues

Mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety can cause sufferers to withdraw and isolate from the people around them.

If you’ve ever experienced mental ill health, you may understand just how much effort it takes to interact with others when you’re not feeling your best.

Not only can depression and anxiety lead to social isolation, but social isolation can cause and/or exacerbate depression and anxiety. This can create a cycle that’s hard to get out of.

Living and/or Working in a Remote Area

People who live in rural or remote locations or who live long-distance from friends and family (due to work, for example) can experience feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Research shows that people in the FIFO space are at risk of loneliness due to these factors:

• Shift work has made them too exhausted to socialise in their downtime
• They hold senior roles and don’t feel it appropriate to mingle with their crews after work
• Relationship problems and disconnection when at home, due to the pressure of FIFO work.

Domestic and Family Violence

People experiencing intimate partner violence or domestic and family violence sometimes avoid contact with family, friends, or co-workers because they don’t want people to find out about the abuse.

Perpetrators of abuse may also prevent their partner from socialising or contacting friends and family to control them and to isolate them from their support networks. This is a form of abuse.

Social Media

While social media can be a great way to keep up to date with what’s going on in our friends’ lives, it can have negative impacts if it replaces in-person interactions.

Research shows a link between heavy social media use and feelings of social isolation and loneliness.

It found those who spend the most time on social media (more than two hours a day) had twice the odds of perceived social isolation than those who said they spent half an hour or less a day on those sites.

We dive into the connection between social media use and social isolation here.

Physical Impairments

Physical impairments and mobility issues can impact an individual’s ability and desire to get out and about to socialise.

These challenges may cause individuals to isolate themselves and spend most or all of their time in the comfort of their own home.

Loss of Loved Ones

While grief is a universal experience, it can feel like no one understands how you feel or what you’re going through. It can be a very lonely time.

It’s normal for grieving individuals to withdraw from others following the loss of a partner, friend, or family member. This can be particularly common among seniors who have lost many contacts in their age group.

COVID-19 and other Health Concerns

We all experienced some form of social isolation due to physical distancing measures during the peak of COVID-19. Some people may still be concerned about their physical health and safety and continue to isolate themselves to avoid COVID and other illnesses.

Again, seniors may be more prone to COVID-related anxiety and choosing to stay home and avoid the public more than usual.

These are just some of the risk factors for social isolation.

If you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness or you need some extra support, talking to a counsellor can help. You can call us on 1300 364 277 to make an appointment, or learn more about our counselling services here.

We offer some tips to overcome social isolation in this blog post.

Supporting someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts or recovering from an attempt to take their own life can make a lifechanging impact.

Research suggests acknowledging and starting conversations about suicide may help to reduce suicidal ideation. Campaigns like R U OK? Day encourage us to have these conversations to reduce stigma and encourage help-seeking behaviour.

Relationship Counsellor Susan Iddon shares some advice on how to talk to someone who is suicidal, from how to start the conversation to what not to say.

For 24/7 crisis support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

For First Nations crisis support, call 13YARN on 13 92 76.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 000.

Starting the conversation

Suicide is a complex and sensitive issue, and a topic that is taboo in many cultures.

It’s normal to feel some discomfort around the topic, or to worry you’ll say the wrong thing. But talking respectfully about suicide can be an important way to support someone who is struggling. It provides an opportunity to talk honestly about how they’re feeling and to know they’re cared for.

You can start by raising the topic in a private setting when you’re both in a calm mood. Let them know you care about them and are there to listen without judgement.

“The best approach is to be open and curious about the person you are concerned about,” Susan explains.

“Ask them how they are. If you’ve noticed any changes, you can share what changes you have observed. Some people may have changes in behaviour that might indicate something is happening for them.”

You might also like to be prepared with contact information for possible support services.

“It’s normal to feel worried about how people will respond when raising the topic, so it’s important to know what supports are available for someone who may be feeling suicidal,” says Susan.

What NOT to say

While talking about suicide can be helpful, there are some approaches to the topic that may cause more harm than good. This includes being a ‘cheerleader’ or saying things that invalidate their feelings.

“Don’t say things like: It’s okay, you’ll get over it – most people do, or: Just be happy – there is so much to be happy about in life,” Susan advises.

While it may be tempting to jump into problem-solving mode, simply listening can be more helpful

“It’s not up to you to fix them, but to listen and guide them to the most helpful support for them in that moment,” explains Susan.

“If you feel they are at extreme risk, Lifeline have trained counsellors to assist people who are experiencing suicidal ideation and are the best to support them in that moment.”

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Most importantly, create a safe and judgement-free space for them to open up. Expressing judgement can cause guilt and shame and prevent them from trusting you in future.

“Most people just want to be heard,” Susan explains. “So reframe from any judgement of how they are feeling or what they are experiencing.”

Getting support

If someone is in crisis, you can help them to get support from mental health or emergency services. 

“Gently ask them if they have spoken to anyone about this,” Susan advises.

“If the answer is no, you can ask who they normally turn to for support.  Some people have a trusted GP, others may have a counsellor already that they can book an appointment with. Otherwise, Lifeline is a great support for people at risk of suicide.”

“It’s important to remember that there is help out there, and exploring what the best support is for that person is the best way to help them when they’re experiencing these feelings or thoughts.”

For 24/7 crisis support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

For First Nations crisis support, call 13YARN on 13 92 76.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 000.

Looking after yourself

It can be painful to watch someone we care about struggle with mental illness, and supporting someone who is struggling can take its toll. It’s important to look after your own mental health and wellbeing too.

If you or someone you know needs someone to talk to, our counsellors offer a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings and find coping strategies that work for you.

You can learn more about our counselling service here, or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

Do you Google your symptoms when you’re unwell? Most Australians do.

A 2019 study showed 54% of Australians use Google to search medical questions and symptoms at least weekly.

Smartphones have made it easier than ever to find medical information fast. But relying on Doctor Google, social media, and online mental health tests and screening tools alone can be harmful.

While most Australians are searching for cold and flu remedies on Google (51%), a whopping 18% of Australians are searching queries related to mental health.

We’ve also seen a rise in TikTok mental health ‘checklists’ leaving young people self-diagnosing anxiety and other mental health conditions.

Regional Manager Val Holden shares her thoughts on self-diagnoses and her advice to get the right support.

The Unreliability of Doctor Google

Concerningly, 1 in 4 Australians admit to using Google at least once to address their health needs instead of visiting a doctor.

60% of Australians have been convinced they’ve had a certain illness after Googling their symptoms, only to find out later it was something else.

This isn’t surprising, because when it comes to physical and mental health, everyone’s individual circumstances are so different. There’s no one-size-fits-all (or one-diagnosis-fits-all) solution.

“Everyone is different and can have very different reactions to situations and past experiences,” explains Val.

“What seems true and accurate for one person may be vastly different for another. You might think hey, that sounds like how I feel, but your journey can be very different. What applies to one person may not apply to you.”

Val explains that getting an incorrect diagnosis can have dire consequences.

“If we self-diagnose, we can read what we see online and choose to believe it or not. This can be dangerous,” she says.

“We can assume we have a particular diagnosis and be totally wrong, or we could have something that we need help with and decide not to seek help because of shame or fear.”

Information without Aftercare

Even when the internet does point toward a diagnosis that may be accurate or helpful to you, it’s crucial to see this as a guide only and still seek a professional opinion.

There might be something else going on for you that needs attention and goes undiagnosed/untreated if you don’t see a professional.

Val explains that self-diagnosing a mental health condition like anxiety, depression, or ADHD without an official professional diagnosis can be a huge risk for not getting the right support or treatment plan.

“The internet is a source of so much information – about everything,” Val says.

“It can be a great resource, but when we set out to search, we get information with no support. This may be harmful as people who have mental health diagnoses often need ongoing support and help from trained professionals.”

Getting the Right Support

If you’re concerned about your symptoms, Val stresses the importance of seeing a mental health professional rather than relying on the internet alone. It’s natural to seek answers and understanding from the internet, but this approach doesn’t give us an accurate diagnosis or appropriate plan forward.

“When we seek help from a trained professional in this area, we’ll be held safe and have a plan of action to assist us to seek the help we need in a professional and supportive environment,” Val says.

“Professional support and counselling are paramount in getting the right treatment plan for you. One that is tailored to your needs and helps you manage your mental health.”

If you need someone to talk to, our counsellors offer a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings and find coping strategies that work for you.

You can learn more about our counselling service here, or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

We offer tips to ask for help when you’re not doing your best here.

Humans need social connection, but we also need alone time. Being alone can be relaxing, meditative, and restorative.

It’s important to balance your social life with some solo weekends. Even extroverts can find “me time” beneficial to recharge their social batteries.

But there are times when healthy solitude becomes prolonged social isolation, and this can be a sign there’s something else going on.

Issues such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem often result from social isolation – but they can also cause it.

We explore the signs of unhealthy isolation here, along with advice if you’re struggling with social withdrawal and isolation.

You avoid friends and family

Maybe you’ve stopped initiating catchups and started declining invitations. Or maybe you’re dodging contact with loved ones altogether – including texts and calls.

Again, opting for alone time over social interaction isn’t always a bad thing. But if the idea of seeing your loved ones is overwhelming, or responding to their texts is draining, this could be a sign of unhealthy isolation.

You cancel plans frequently

Do you accept social invitations only to spend the following days thinking of an excuse to cancel? Do you feel a sense of relief when someone else cancels social plans?

If you’re a no-show to most events in your social calendar – particularly those that were once enjoyable – you may be experiencing unhealthy social withdrawal.

You experience anxiety around socialising

It’s normal to get nervous before socialising or meeting new people from time to time. We’ve all been there.

But if social situations trigger sweating, shaking, nausea, a pounding heart, and excess worry that you’ll do or say something wrong, you may be experiencing social anxiety.

Research shows almost 11% of Australians experience social anxiety at some point in their lives.

This anxiety can lead us to withdraw from the world around us because we feel safer on our own.

We offer advice for dealing with social anxiety in this blog post.

You feel numb around others

Do you feel emotionally ‘numb’ and unable to share or connect with people?

You may no longer be interested in, or have the capacity to contribute to, what were once fulfilling connections. Maybe small talk just feels like too much effort when you have bigger things on your mind. Or perhaps you don’t feel like people understand you, so there’s no point opening up.

How to overcome social withdrawal

It’s important to remember that there are many reasons why someone might socially isolate themselves (family commitments, workload, physical health), but it can be a sign of depression or mental ill health.

When you’re in that headspace, it can be hard to find the motivation to socialise again.

We recommend gradually counteracting social withdrawal by reaching out to your closest friends and family one at a time.

Make a list of the people in your life you want to reconnect with. These should be the people who make you feel most comfortable to be yourself and not nervous about what they’ll think of you.

Get in contact and schedule an activity that you genuinely enjoy and doesn’t drain you.

If you feel safe to do so, you might even like to open up about how you’ve been feeling and why you’ve been M.I.A lately. You might be surprised by how understanding your loved ones are and how much relief you can get from sharing the load.

If you need someone to talk to, our counsellors offer a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings and find coping strategies that work for you.

You can learn more about our counselling service here, or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

We offer some great tips to avoid loneliness as an introvert here.

Numerous studies over the years have shown that human connection is important for our health and wellbeing.

It’s normal to experience loneliness from time to time. But lengthy periods of loneliness or social isolation can increase our risk of some physical and mental health conditions.

We explore the negative effects of social isolation and the importance of human connection here.

Effects of Social Isolation on Mental Health

All humans have a basic need for social connection. It’s in our DNA, along with our need for food, water, and shelter.

When this need isn’t met, our mental health and emotional wellbeing can suffer.

Social isolation can lead to:

• Stress
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Poor self-esteem
• Negative feelings such as worthlessness.

Loneliness has also been reported as a risk factor for alcohol and drug abuse, as people experiencing the negative effects of social isolation and loneliness may turn to substances to cope with these feelings.

Effects of Social Isolation on Physical Health

Social isolation and loneliness aren’t just risk factors for poor mental health and emotional issues – they can also have serious impacts on our physical health.

Research has proven loneliness is just as bad for us as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. It can significantly increase the risk of developing health conditions such as:

• High blood pressure
• Cognitive decline
• Alzheimer’s disease
• Heart disease
• Obesity
• Stroke
• Poor sleep quality
• Weakened immune system.

  Studies even show that social isolation is a significant contributor to early death.

Feeling connected to others can be a protective factor against these physical and mental health conditions. It can also help create a sense of belonging and purpose, increase our resilience in tough times, and improve our overall life satisfaction.

If you’re struggling with loneliness, our counsellors offer a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings and find ways to cope. You can learn more about our counselling service here, or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

We list some tips to overcome social isolation in this blog post.

Do introverts get lonely?

Studies have shown loneliness isn’t necessarily related to being alone.

Introverts can be perfectly happy on their own, or terribly lonely in a crowd.

A lot of the time, introverts need solitude and quiet to recharge themselves. This can make it harder for them to create and maintain social connections, and there can be a point where “alone” becomes “lonely”.

If this sounds like you, we hope our advice to avoid loneliness as an introvert helps.

Find your people

This comes in two parts: the people you socialise with, and the way in which you socialise.

The key is to choose quality over quantity when it comes to your social connections. Find the people who make you feel most comfortable and prioritise those friendships. This could be just one or two people, and that’s OK.

For a lot of lonely introverts, loneliness isn’t a need for people but a need for connection, and this is something you can get from just one close relationship.

Choose enjoyable ways to socialise

Find activities to do with your friend/s that you genuinely enjoy and don’t drain you.

For example, you might not like the noise and busyness of going out to a bar or wandering around the crowded weekend markets. Opt for something quieter such as hosting a friend for a movie night at home or meeting for a picnic instead.

If you’re nervous about running out of things to talk about, going to a cinema, theatre, or concert can alleviate this pressure.

Just enjoying an activity with a friend silently by your side can bring a sense of connection without the need to carry a conversation.

Maintain balance between solitude and connection

It can be all too easy to get in the habit of avoiding social events and staying at home where we feel safe and comfortable. But this can lead to unhealthy social withdrawal and loneliness.

Challenge yourself to accept and initiate social invitations on occasion to maintain a more balanced schedule of time alone and time with others.

If you know socialising drains you and you need alone time to recharge, be sure to book this in afterward.

Get a change of scenery

Getting out and about – even in solitude – may help reduce feelings of loneliness.

Take your book to a park, beach, or café and read alone in a new environment, or go for a walk in a nearby nature trail.

Nature is known to help boost our mood and improve our mental health, so you may find getting out of the house can reduce negative emotions such as loneliness.

If you need someone to talk to, our counsellors offer a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings and find ways to cope.

You can learn more about our counselling service here, or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

We list some tips to overcome social isolation in this blog post