Mental Health Archives - Page 7 of 8 - Relationships Australia Queensland

Anxiety in Children

Posted on April 14, 2021December 12, 2024 by admin

It’s normal for children to occasionally feel worried or anxious – such as when they start school or move to a new town. But for some children, anxiety can have an impact on how they think, behave and function every day.

Research shows almost 7% of Australian children aged 4-11 struggle with clinical symptoms of anxiety.

We asked RAQ Clinical Supervisor Karen Marshall to share some of the signs of anxiety in children, as well as some tips to help them manage it.

Signs of Anxiety in Children

Not everyone who has anxiety will experience the same symptoms, but these are some of the most common anxiety symptoms in children:

Crying often
Not eating properly
Using the toilet often
Difficulty concentrating
Irritability and outbursts
Rapid breathing or heartbeat
Being tired for no real season
Restlessness, fidgeting, or shakiness
Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
Complaining of tummy aches and feeling unwell
Constantly worrying or having negative thoughts
Being clingy or worrying about parental abandonment
Regression (denying ability to do tasks previously mastered).

It’s important to keep an eye out for these symptoms if you’re worried your child is having a hard time.

“Noticing children’s behaviours is a way to pick up on cues that children may be anxious, whether the child verbalises their anxiety or not,” Karen explains.

Causes of Anxiety in Children

Anxiety can develop in people of all ages for many different reasons. Some common causes for anxiety in children might include:

Abuse or neglect
Lack of predictable routine
Frequently moving house or school
The death of a close relative or friend
School-related issues like exams or bullying
Living with adults who are stressed or anxious
Conflict or tension between parents/caregivers
Becoming seriously ill or getting injured in an accident
Overemphasis on expected achievement (whether external or internal pressure).

“Friction or conflict between parents/caregivers can contribute considerably to anxiety in children,” says Karen. “Parents seeking their own support and reducing conflict can be best for reducing children’s anxiety around these matters.”

How to Support a Child Struggling with Anxiety

Karen offers a few tips to help your child cope with their anxiety and get through stressful situations.

Ask them how they’re feeling

If you notice your child is experiencing some symptoms of anxiety, confront the issue and ask them how they’re feeling.

“Talk to them calmly,” says Karen. “Help them to externalise the worry. For example, supporting them to draw their worry can be helpful.”

Listen with empathy and understanding, and avoid using invalidating phrases like stop being such a baby or there’s nothing to worry about. These can make your child feel unsupported and shameful about their anxious thoughts, which can make the anxiety even worse.

“It’s important that parents don’t minimise the child’s feelings,” Karen explains.

Your child is entitled to their feelings, and it’s your job to help them find healthy ways to cope when they get overwhelmed.

Model self-care

Kids pick up signals from adults. By showing calmness in stressful situations, you can model examples of healthy coping.

“Modelling self-care strategies to children is one important way a parent can support a child who is anxious,” Karen explains.

“For example, when driving in traffic with children and fearing you’re late for an appointment, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Say to your children wow, this traffic is bad, but there’s nothing we can do about it. So let’s sing a song or talk about our favorite holiday/food/animal.”

Focus on their strengths

Children crave positive reinforcement from their parents/carers. Helping your child recognise their strengths can boost their self-esteem and help them remember when they’ve made it through tough times in the past.

“For example, if they’re worried about meeting new friends at a new school, remind them of the things that make them a good friend. Encourage them to smile to let people know they’re friendly,” suggests Karen.

Talk to their teacher

“Speaking to a child’s teacher or other key adults in a child’s life can give clarity and provide insight,” explains Karen.

“For example, some children don’t like to tell their parents they’re being bullied or having an unhappy time in their friendship groups, as many children see themselves as the cause of this rather than the victim. A teacher or other adult may be able to provide information that can be helpful.”

Be patient with them

Anxiety can sometimes impact a child’s behaviour. If your anxious child is misbehaving, try to have some understanding and keep things in perspective.

“It’s important to be open to seeing challenging behavior in children as an expression of anxiety or even trauma, and approach management of this behavior with calm and compassion,” says Karen.

“The support of a professional is always helpful to determine the cause of certain behaviors.”

Seek professional help

It’s a good idea to seek professional help or reassurance yourself if your child is constantly anxious and it’s not getting better and/or impacting their school or family life.

“Anxiety can lead to habitual behaviors. Contacting a professional for support can be useful in this case,” Karen explains. “Psychologists and counsellors who work with children will often recommend specific strategies accompanied by reward charts to support the child to break these habits.”

And don’t forget to look after yourself, too.

“Adults looking after their own wellbeing, modelling good strategies around their own anxiety, and seeking help early if needed can be so important for the mental health of their children,” says Karen.

You can learn about our counselling services here, or call 1300 364 277 to book an appointment in person, over the phone, or via Zoom video.

Read about the most common types of anxiety in this blog post.

How to Protect Your Emotional Wellbeing in the Coronavirus Outbreak

Posted on March 30, 2021December 12, 2024 by admin

Are you feeling a little uneasy or downright distressed about the coronavirus?

It’s understandable for Australians to be experiencing concern and anxiety – especially with the overwhelming amount of negative news and speculation in the media.

You might be fearful for your health or that of your friends and family. Perhaps you’re confused by conflicting information online. Or maybe you’re just wondering where you’ll get your next pack of toilet paper.

Many of us are taking extra precautions to protect our physical health. But as we sneeze into our elbows and slather our hands in sanitiser, what are we doing to protect our mental and emotional health and wellbeing?

We chatted to Clinical Supervisor Kylie Turner for some advice on how we can look after our mental health and avoid social isolation in a time of ‘social distancing’.

“With the arrival of COVID-19, life feels particularly uncertain for many people as the theme of the unknown is strongly present in our day-to-day lives,” Kylie says. “When things go as planned, we feel in control. But when life throws a curveball, it can leave us feeling anxious and stressed.”

We hope these tips help you and your loved ones protect your emotional wellbeing during the current public health situation.

You’ve probably heard health experts urging people to practise voluntary ‘social distancing’ to prevent – or at least slow down – the spread of the coronavirus. Big-crowd events like music festivals and sports events have been cancelled. Companies have advised their staff to work from home. Universities are delivering classes online. Gyms and pools have closed.

These precautionary measures are part of the plan to “flatten the curve” and keep the number of confirmed cases at a manageable level for the health care system. And while these protective actions will help mitigate infection, this social distancing can have negative side effects on our mental and emotional health and wellbeing.

Research shows loneliness is as bad for us as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. It’s a major risk factor for mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.

“It is a basic human need to feel and stay connected with others, whether they be family, friends or colleagues,” Kylie says.

“When experiencing so many unknowns, it is even more important to keep those connections flowing. Connecting with others who are experiencing the same as us can often help to normalise our thoughts and feelings in what is a rather abnormal situation.”

So how do we avoid social isolation during social distancing? Here are a few ways to stay connected during the coronavirus outbreak:

Check in with a Text

It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s a great way to remind your loved ones that you’re thinking of them. Whether you’re having a lengthy conversation or simply sending an adorable dog meme, texting is one of the most convenient ways to keep in touch.

Pick up the Phone

Call us old fashioned, but spoken conversation can provide a comfort and intimacy that text-based communication can lack. It’s nice to hear your loved one’s laughter as opposed to reading a “lol”.

Get Used to Video Calls

Video calls aren’t just for business meetings, you know. From Skype and Zoom to FaceTime and Facebook Video Chat, there are endless platforms facilitating video calls in this modern day.

Create Group Chats

Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, HipChat, Google Hangouts, and other messaging apps allow you to keep conversations organised by groups. You can create separate real-time group chats for your friends, family, colleagues and more.

Join Online Groups

As the number of people in self-isolation increases, so too does the number of online communities for Australians to come together and share their experiences. Beyond Blue has a dedicated forum for coping during the coronavirus outbreak, providing a safe space for people to share their concerns and stay connected.

Write a Letter

Who doesn’t love receiving mail? Whip out the pen and paper and surprise a loved one with a handwritten letter. Better yet, post it along with a roll of toilet paper. Not all heroes wear capes.

Compete from Afar with Apps

There’s nothing like a little friendly competition to pass the time in self-isolation. Here are some fun (and free!) games you can play with friends while apart:

Draw Something – Hone your inner artist with this drawing and guessing game where you pick a word to draw for your friends, and vice versa.
Words with Friends – Like scrabble, but on your electronic device.
QuizUp – Challenge existing friends or connect and compete with new people who share your interests. This trivia game allows you to choose from hundreds of niche topics (e.g. anime, Disney Movies, Greek Mythology, ‘80s rock), so it has something for the nerd in all of us.

“Many people withdraw when they’re stressed or worried,” says Kylie. “But social support is important, so reach out to family and friends via the safest mediums for now.”

No, we’re not just talking about overzealous hand washing. On top of following good hygiene practices to reduce your risk of infection, it’s important to focus on the lifestyle factors that can impact your mental health, too.

“Don’t let stress around unknowns derail your healthy routines,” Kylie advises. “Make efforts to eat well, exercise and get enough sleep.”

She also recommends engaging in self-care, stating that many people find stress release in practices like yoga, meditation, and walking outside.

Many studies have shown that spending time in nature can relieve stress and anxiety. So if you’re cooped up in self-isolation, try to find a few moments to get outside in the fresh air.

“Treat self-isolation as an opportunity to do activities that help you relax,” says Kylie.

Keeping up to date can help you feel more in control in these times of uncertainty. But with so much information readily available at our fingertips, it can be easy to fall down the rabbit hole of fake news that ultimately fuels our feelings of fear.

“When we’re stressed about something, it can be hard to look away,” Kylie explains. “But compulsively checking the news may contribute to further stress and keep the theme of unknowns alive.”

Avoiding overexposure to negative news is key to finding a healthy balance between staying informed and being overwhelmed.

And if you come across alarmist misinformation that drives panic, don’t add to the problem by sharing it with friends and family. A 2018 study found information regarding potential threats becomes increasingly negative and inaccurate when passed from person to person on social media, unnecessarily amplifying feelings of dread.

“Try to limit your check-ins and avoid the news during vulnerable times of day, such as right before bedtime,” Kylie advises.

Speculation and misinformation can be harmful to your mental and emotional wellbeing. If you’re being bombarded by sources that spread more fear than facts, we recommend staying updated with credible, reputable sources like these:

Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19) Outbreak – World Health Organisation information and updates
Coronavirus (COVID-19) Health Alert – Updates on the situation in Australia
Current Status and Contact Tracing Alerts – Updates on the situation in Queensland
COVID-19 and Travel – Travel guidelines for Australian citizens
(COVID-19): Everything You Need to Know, in Language You Can Understand – FAQs
Novel Coronavirus Test
Self-Quarantine Requirements

“Understanding COVID-19 may help to reduce anxiety,” Kylie says. “Learn more about COVID-19 and safely talk with others.”

“When uncertainty strikes, many people immediately imagine worst-case scenarios,” Kylie explains. “Remember to be gentle with yourself instead of ruminating on negative events.”

Try not to dwell on the things you can’t control and focus on the things you can – like your day-to-day activities.

“Recent times have highlighted that most people are creatures of habit,” Kylie says. “Establish routines to give your days and weeks some comforting structure.”

If social distancing is preventing you from enjoying your usual routine, get creative and find alternative ways to fill your days. If you used to start the day with a coffee from your favourite café, learn how to make a killer brew yourself. If you’d normally end the day with an exercise class at the local gym, find a workout to do at home instead (hello, lounge room aerobics).

Learn to love your new ‘normal’ – and remember it’s only temporary.

The coronavirus may be overwhelming, but it’s important to be scared without being scary.

Research shows novel threats like Ebola or avian flu raise anxiety levels higher than more familiar threats do. This panic can be contagious and counterproductive, making it more difficult to manage tough times effectively.

Do your best to approach the situation with empathy and check in with friends, family, and neighbours to see how they’re doing.

With kindness and support, we can be the calm in the storm.

“With all the unknowns, many people feel overwhelmed and disconnected,” Kylie says. “Remember those around you are in this chaos with you.”

While the internet and social networks are a part of everyday life for many, we understand that this technology can put some people’s safety at risk.

If you live with or are currently experiencing family and domestic violence, ongoing safety requires vigilance in protecting yourself in your online presence.

Here are a few ways you can stay safe in a time where online connectedness is so strongly encouraged:

Place a passcode on your device/s
Update passwords on all accounts
Ensure your accounts are set to ‘private’
Be cautious when accepting new friend requests
Turn off GPS and/or location settings on your device/s.

For more digital safety information, refer to this helpful advice from the Women’s Legal Service QLD.

If you’re struggling to cope on your own, reach out for help.

Relationships Australia Queensland provides confidential counselling and support services to help you manage your stress and anxiety.

Be assured our staff and clients’ physical and emotional health is our top priority, and we’re taking all precautions in every venue to maintain a safe environment for everyone.

If you’d feel more comfortable receiving professional help from a distance, you can access our telephone counselling on 1300 364 277.

Finally, Kylie encourages us to remember how we’ve managed adversity before.

“Chances are you’ve overcome stressful events in the past,” she says. “Give yourself credit for how you coped with previous unknowns. Reflect on what you did during that event that was helpful, and what you might like to do differently this time.”

Tips for Social Anxiety

Posted on March 5, 2021December 12, 2024 by admin

For some people, meeting up with mates brings excitement and an energy boost. For others, it can trigger sweating, shaking, nausea, a pounding heart, and excess worry that they’ll do or say the wrong thing.

These are all common symptoms of social anxiety.

Anyone can experience social anxiety – whether you’re a shy introvert or an outgoing extrovert. Research shows almost 11% of Aussies experience social phobia at some point in their lives. So if it’s something you live with, just know you’re not alone.

We hope our advice for social anxiety helps if you’ve been diagnosed with the condition or simply struggle in social settings from time to time.

Stop catastrophising in its tracks

It’s easy to get swept up in the worrying and ‘what ifs’ that social anxiety can brew in our brains. But treating these negative thoughts as facts can have us spiralling down a dark rabbit hole before any of them have even happened!

Fact: 85% of what we worry about NEVER happens. So next time a social invitation has you imagining all the bad things that could go wrong, take a deep breath and remind yourself that these are just bad thoughts. Unless you’re psychic, there’s a very low chance these scary scenarios are a realistic glimpse into the future.

Remind yourself of positive social interactions

Remember all those times you caught up with friends, presented in front of a group, or made an important phone call and everything went just fine?

We tend to focus on the negatives and forget all the successful social interactions we’ve had over the years. If you’re nervous or anxious before a social event, try to think of a few recent cases where you had a positive experience.

Start small with exposure

Interacting in a big group can be overwhelming. If you’re prone to social anxiety, try to ease yourself into socialising with one-on-one catch ups or smaller gatherings instead.

This kind of controlled exposure to social situations can help take away some of the fear and prepare you for larger events in the future, while avoiding social situations altogether can make these social interactions seem even more intimidating.

Avoid relying on drugs/alcohol to cope

There’s nothing wrong with having a drink or two if it helps you relax and feel more comfortable talking to people. In fact, the confidence boost gained from alcohol is commonly called ‘Dutch courage’. But relying on alcohol and drugs to get through social interactions can become problematic if it’s done irresponsibly or develops into an unhealthy dependence or addiction.

The misuse of substances can be damaging for you and the people around you. Becoming intoxicated at a party or social event can also cause what’s called ‘hangxiety’. Ever woken up after a night of drinking and feel anxious and panicked about what you might have said and done? That’s hangxiety – and it can make your social anxiety worse. So always drink responsibly.

Write down a script before phone calls

Can’t hear yourself think over the sound of your heart pounding? If making a phone call triggers your anxiety, it might be worth writing a script to get you through it.

Whether you make a general list of the topics you need to cover or write a word-for-word script, this is an easy way to avoid awkward pauses and/or mind blanks during those personal and professional calls.

Carry conversation starters

If your mind goes blank in social situations, this could be thanks to social anxiety’s close friend, brain fog. Brain fog messes with our thought process and makes it hard for us to remember things, which can lead to awkward silences at parties and gatherings.

A great way to combat uncomfortable silences is to be prepared with conversation starters before meeting with people, either on palm cards or in your phone notes.

These might include:

How did the COVID lockdown/s impact you?
What have you been watching and/or reading lately?
What are you excited about at the moment?

You might also like to list some reminders about their lives, such as the name of their partner, what they do for work and other details. This might seem simple, but it could save you wondering whether their partner’s name is Tim or Tom when the brain fog kicks in!

If you’re struggling with social anxiety and need some extra support, talking to a counsellor can help. Our counsellors provide a safe and supportive environment to talk about your concerns and explore solutions. You can call 1300 364 277 to book an appointment, or learn more about counselling here.

Discover some of the main types of anxiety in this article.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Posted on February 17, 2021December 12, 2024 by admin

Do you ever worry you’re not as good as you seem? Like you have no clue what you’re doing and it’s only a matter of time until others find out?

If you feel you’re ‘tricking’ people into thinking you’re better than you actually are, you may have imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is a phenomenon where you struggle to accept your own successes, and instead attribute them to other factors like luck.

While a little bit of doubt now and then is normal, imposter syndrome can be harmful if you don’t take the time to challenge your beliefs. Some ways imposter syndrome can affect how you act include:

Downplaying your achievements and taking full responsibility for your failures
Refusing to accept compliments
Constantly comparing yourself to others
Overworking to make sure ‘everything is getting done’
Perfectionism
Being reluctant to speak openly in case you seem ‘stupid’.

While there’s no one explanation for how imposter syndrome can develop, being a high achiever or a perfectionist may make it harder for you to accept when you’ve done a good job, and lead to those feelings of being a fraud. Anxiety and depression can also make it difficult for you to acknowledge your achievements and contribute to imposter syndrome.

Imposter syndrome can make you feel stressed, upset and isolated. Here are some tips to manage it if it starts feeling overwhelming.

Realise you’re not alone

Did you know that most executive managers are scared of being found incompetent?

It’s easy to feel like you’re the only person pulling the wool over other peoples’ eyes. But the truth is that almost everyone doubts themselves sometimes.

People with imposter syndrome often fall into the trap of comparing their failures to others’ successes. But situations like starting a new job or taking on a challenging project are stressful no matter how ‘successful’ you are. In those circumstances, a bit of doubt about if you’re making the right choices is normal.

So the next time you’re worried your boss thinks you’re incompetent, remember they’ve probably had days where they feel like they’re fooling people too!

Try a new angle

Many people with imposter syndrome have a performance mindset, which means they think of their work as a reflection of how competent they are.

This can make it hard to handle criticism, as making a mistake can feel like a sign of your underlying failures or incompetence.

But making mistakes and receiving constructive criticism is a normal part of working in a team, which is why switching to a learning mindset can be a good way to combat those feelings of inadequacy.

Instead of focusing on making your work perfect, try and focus on ways you can learn and improve in response to feedback. This way, making mistakes doesn’t seem like an indicator of incompetence, but just a normal part of improving your skills at something new.

Be patient and persistent

One of the things that can make imposter syndrome worse is constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling like they’re better than you. But nobody ever became an expert at anything overnight!

It’s important to remember that a lot of the things you might feel like you’re failing at are skills, and skills get better with practice.

To combat those feelings of failure, try writing down an honest assessment of what you’re good at and where your work could be improved. Brainstorm ways to improve a few particular skills on that list, like taking a class or doing practice exercises.

Be patient as you work on these skills, and remember with regular practice, you’ll naturally improve over time.

Give a lesson to the class

Sometimes a great way to recognise your own expertise is to teach someone else.

Do you know something you could pass on to someone else in your life? Maybe a colleague or a friend could benefit from learning something you already know.

Helping others can be a good way of reminding yourself how much you’ve learned already. If someone in your life wants to learn something you’re skilled at, offer to set aside some time to teach them.

They’ll be grateful for your help, and along the way you might realise you knew more than you thought!

Take time to celebrate your wins

Stopping to acknowledge what you’ve accomplished can help you feel more like you deserve your success.

Try taking a little time every day to write down something you’re proud of. Spending even just five minutes patting yourself on the back for finishing that to-do list or completing a big project can be a great step towards breaking free of imposter syndrome.

It also means you have a list of your achievements on hand that you can look back on whenever you’re having a particularly bad day.

Talk to someone

If you’re still spending most of your day feeling like a fraud, it might be helpful to talk to someone about how you’re feeling.

Maybe you could talk to a trusted mentor who could give you an honest assessment of your work, or a friend who can give you space to talk about your fears.

If these feelings persist, seeking professional support can help you start to untangle those feelings of inadequacy and perfectionism.

RAQ has counsellors who can help you work through the negative feelings that come with imposter syndrome. Call 1300 364 277 to book an appointment in person, over the phone or via Zoom video chat.

For more tips on how to manage negative feelings when you start doubting yourself, check out our article on how to silence your inner critic.

What is Toxic Positivity?

Posted on February 10, 2021December 12, 2024 by admin

Can positivity be a bad thing?

The phrase “toxic positivity” refers to the idea that having a positive attitude and “good vibes only” is the best way to live. It tells us that negative emotions are bad, and expressing feelings such as sadness, anger and disappointment makes us weak or not fun to be around.

But no one feels happy all the time, and ups and downs are a normal part of life. Suppressing negative emotions can cause more psychological harm, and can even lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

We hope these tips help you avoid toxic positivity and be more compassionate to yourself and others.

What to avoid

Here are some examples of toxic positivity that can alienate people who might be having a hard time, and make you seem unrelatable and unapproachable.

Dismissing someone’s feelings

Say your friend tells you they’ve had a bad day at work, they’re having relationship problems, or they’re simply in a bad headspace at the moment. This is not your cue to be a cheerleader and try to make them feel better with phrases like: “Look on the bright side”, “It could be worse”, or “There’s nothing to be worried about”.

These responses tell your friend their feelings aren’t acceptable or justified. This doesn’t help them feel better – in fact, it can make them feel even worse. It can also prevent them from coming to you when they have issues in the future.

Shaming someone for bringing down the mood

Similarly, you shouldn’t make someone feel like they’re not fun to be around or don’t deserve your time unless they’re in a good mood and a positive headspace.

Judging someone for expressing their negative feelings by calling them a “Debbie Downer” or telling them not to “kill your vibe” can make that person feel shame around their (very normal) negative emotions. They should feel welcome and supported no matter their mood.

Avoiding your own negative feelings

Do you act happy and positive even when you’re not feeling that way on the inside? Maybe you want to maintain the image of a fun and cheerful person, or maybe you’re worried your negative emotions will annoy or inconvenience the people around you.

Avoiding or minimising your negative emotions can breed shame and self-esteem issues, as well as mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

What to do instead

Here are some ways to overcome toxic positivity and deal with unpleasant emotions in a healthier way.

Validate others’ feelings

We all have the right to feel how we feel. It can help to hear that it’s OK and normal to feel these things instead of being told to get over it or to be optimistic. A little empathy and understanding goes a long way.

Try:

“That must be really difficult for you.”
“It sounds like you’re having a really hard time.”
“I’m sorry you’re dealing with that right now.”
“You’re really strong for getting through that.”
“How we can make things better?”

Tune into your own feelings

Our emotions are important. They tell us information about ourselves and help us be mindful in the present moment. Negative emotions are completely normal, and it’s healthy to acknowledge and process them in order to heal and grow.

Check in with yourself to see how you’re feeling and why. It might be a cue that you need to make some changes in your life. Or maybe you just need to take a day to rest and recuperate. Have some self-compassion and don’t judge yourself for feeling the way you do or try to mask it with fake positivity.

Remember most of what you see online is a highlight reel

People often only post positive stuff on social media. Scrolling through endless images of big smiles, good times, and inspirational quotes can make us feel bad about ourselves if we’re not in the same headspace. But the fact is everyone has bad days and gets down in the dumps – we just don’t share those times online!

If social media makes you feel pressured to be optimistic and gratefull all the time, it might be worth taking a break or unfollowing certain accounts.

We talk about how social media can cause anxiety in this blog post.

If you’re having a hard time coping with unpleasant emotions, counselling can be a great way to explore how you’re feeling and come up with solutions. You can call 1300 364 277 to book a counselling appointment in person, over the phone, or via Zoom video chat.

Signs of Postnatal Depression

Posted on January 4, 2021December 12, 2024 by admin

Having a baby is stressful. From the surge in hormones to the sleep deprivation, it’s no wonder new mothers feel like they’re on an emotional rollercoaster.

But while it’s normal for mums to feel stressed and even teary and sensitive for a couple of weeks after baby has arrived, if these ‘baby blues’ symptoms continue or worsen, it may be a sign of postpartum depression – a much different phenomenon than postpartum blues.

Postpartum or postnatal depression (PND) is a serious mental health condition that impacts 1 in 7 women who give birth in Australia every year. It’s not limited to just mums, either. Fathers can also be at risk of PND, with up to 1 in 10 new dads experiencing depression during the pregnancy or after the birth.

It’s important to know the difference between baby blues and postnatal depression by familiarising yourself with common PND symptoms. Learning the signs of PND can be the first step to helping you or someone you know during this difficult time.

PND Symptoms

People can experience PND differently. It can take just a few days or several weeks for a new mother to develop PND, and it can range from a mild feeling of sadness to debilitating depression. New fathers are more prone to developing PND if their partner has it.

While the exact cause of PND is unknown, the physical, emotional and social changes that come with having a baby can definitely contribute.

Some of the common signs and symptoms of PND include:

Feeling exhausted and having very low energy
Having a very low mood a lot of the time
Irritability and tearfulness
Loss of confidence and self-esteem
Feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope
Feeling inadequate and a failure as a parent
Sense of hopelessness about the future
Feeling guilty, ashamed or worthless
Feeling anxious or panicky
Having trouble sleeping or sleeping for too long
Worrying excessively about their baby
Feeling scared of being alone or going out
Difficulty concentrating or remembering things
Changes in appetite, either not eating or overeating
Low sex drive
Loss of interest in normal activities
Withdrawing from close friends and family
Not looking after themselves
Finding it hard to get moving each day
Struggling with everyday tasks like cooking or shopping
Thoughts of harming self and/or baby.

How to Support Someone with PND

Seeing someone you care about struggle with PND can be painful. You might feel helpless and not know what to do, but there are a few ways to offer support and show you care.

Provide emotional support

It’s common for people to get excited about the baby and forget to ask how the mum/parents are doing. Don’t forget to check in regularly and be willing to listen. Simply lending an ear when they need to vent can make a huge difference.

Many new parents feel guilty opening up about the difficulties they’re facing, so if your loved one trusts you enough to share how they’re feeling, listen with empathy and understanding. Validate their feelings and let them know they’re doing a great job despite how hard it is.

Offer practical help

If there’s one thing new parents have in common, it’s that they could use a hand. Some new parents might feel uncomfortable or guilty asking for help. They might consider themselves ‘failures’ for not being able to handle everything on their own. But there’s a reason the proverb “It takes a village to raise a child” has stuck around for so long.

Help with practical tasks like cooking, cleaning and watching the baby to give them a chance to sleep, shower, or simply eat a meal with two hands. Ask if they need help with any errands outside the home, such as picking up medication or grocery shopping. Anything you can do to lighten their load will help.

Help for PND

There are several treatment options for people experiencing postnatal depression. If you’re worried you or someone you know has PND, a GP can talk to you about a treatment plan appropriate for your situation. This might include a mental health care plan and referral to see a mental health professional, or medication that’s safe to take during pregnancy and breastfeeding.

Our professional counsellors assist individuals, couples and families with a range of issues including anxiety, depression, relationship problems and parenting issues. You can learn more about our counselling services here, or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

Discover the common relationship problems after having a baby and how to handle them in this blog post.

How to Stop Sweating the Small Stuff

Posted on December 18, 2020December 12, 2024 by admin

Do you lose your cool over what other people might consider to be minor hassles? Do you let being stuck in traffic, spilling your coffee, or a rude cashier ruin your day?

Constantly getting upset over little things can take a toll on our mental and physical health. A recent study found that older men who obsess over little, everyday annoyances tend to live shorter lives than those who let things go.

You’ve probably heard the saying “don’t make a mountain out of a molehill”. But even if we know we shouldn’t sweat the small stuff, it can be a hard habit to kick.

Learn how to stop worrying about the little things with these three steps.

Put things into perspective

Most things that happen to us have the potential to be as small or as big as we choose to make them.

If your knee-jerk reaction is to blow up over trivial things without thinking, it might help to take a step back and consider a new perspective.

Ask yourself:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is it really?
Will I still be upset in 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months or 5 years?
Is this something within my control that requires a solution, or does it require moving on?
Is it possible I’m blowing this out of proportion?

These questions can help you take back control and decide whether it’s worth your time and energy worrying.

You might also like to make a list of all the small things that regularly get under your skin. This could be anything from not finding a parking spot straight away to getting stuck behind people who walk slowly. Writing these down can help you explore why they bother you and how significant they really are in the grand scheme of life.

Acknowledge the good

We’re hard-wired to focus on the negatives, so we often miss all the good stuff going on around us. We’ll notice the one time things go wrong and take for granted all the times things went right.

Make a habit of looking for the good and celebrating little wins each day. Hit all the green lights on your way to work? Awesome! No line to get your morning coffee? Great! Having a good hair day? Good for you!

Consciously choosing to focus on things you’re grateful for can help stop negativity and rumination in its tracks. With all the good you’ve got going on, you might find it harder to care about small inconveniences.

You can learn more about the scientifically proven benefits of gratitude here.

Find coping strategies that work for you

Changing our behaviour patterns can take a lot of time and dedication. If you’re struggling to stop sweating the small stuff, it can be helpful to expand your stress-management toolkit with strategies that support your desired changes.

Some common strategies for coping with stress include:

Breathing exercises – Pausing to take a few deep breaths can help slow your heart rate and reduce stress. Belly breathing in particular is thought to reduce tension and help you relax. You might like to try this type of breathing in bed before you go to sleep.
Meditation – Meditating can help increase your self-awareness and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. Guided meditations are a good place to start.
Journalling – Keeping a journal is a great way to explore your thoughts and feelings. It allows you to vent about your frustrations and release tension in a healthy way.
Physical exercise – This is another healthy way to release tension and get some of those overwhelming emotions out. Exercise is known to reduce anxiety and depression and improve your mood and self-esteem. We should all be aiming for at least 30 minutes a day.
Counselling – If you need help finding coping strategies or just want to talk, counselling could be a good option. Here, you can explore your emotions without judgement and find solutions in a supportive environment.

RAQ provides counselling for a range of issues including stress and anxiety. You can learn more about our counselling services here, or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

If you found this helpful, you might like our blog post How to Stop Waiting to be Happy.

How to Manage Work Stress

Posted on December 16, 2020December 12, 2024 by admin

We all get stressed at work sometimes. From long hours and looming deadlines to high-stakes pitches and difficult customers, most jobs involve some degree of stress.

Research shows around 20% of Aussies take time off work each year because they feel mentally unwell. While some work-related stress is common and reasonable, it can be a major risk factor for anxiety and depression if it’s excessive and ongoing.

We hope these strategies help you manage and reduce your workplace stress and achieve a healthier work-life balance.

Allocate time to worry

It’s unrealistic to tell yourself to simply stop stressing about work. Trying to avoid these thoughts altogether will likely have them popping up here, there and everywhere.

Some experts recommend scheduling ‘worry time’ into your day to address all of those niggling thoughts that distract you mid-conversation and keep you up at night.

Dedicate 15-20 minutes to worrying about work after you’ve clocked off for the day. During this time of reflection, write down all the worries you can think of and any potential solutions that come to you. You don’t have to solve them then and there – simply writing them down can be therapeutic and provide some clarity.

Use ‘do not disturb’ on your devices

Who has the self-control to see a notification pop up and not check it? Just seeing you have an email from your manager outside of work hours is enough to get you worrying what it could be about.

Don’t let work thoughts and hypotheticals creep in after hours. Protect your personal time by activating ‘do not disturb’ or ‘out of office’ on your work phone and emails, and get in the habit of leaving your work devices off or in a drawer until you’re on the clock.

Find a fulfilling hobby unrelated to your profession

There’s nothing wrong with being passionate about your job, but it’s not always healthy to tie your entire identity to what you do for a living. Having hobbies and goals unrelated to your job can bring a more well-rounded sense of purpose to your life and encourage a healthy work-life balance.

Sit down and think about the things that bring you joy. Ideally, these should be unrelated to your professional skills to help your brain separate work from leisure. For example, if you’re a mechanic, you should try to find enjoyable activities that don’t involve tinkering with tools and engines. This could be anything from exercising and going to the movies to baking and playing an instrument.

Try relaxation techniques before bedtime

Does your brain do cartwheels when you lie down at night? Can’t get your mind off your to-dos for the week? If job stress sneaks in when you slip under the sheets, you might like to try some relaxation techniques before you hit the hay.

Some common calming strategies include:

Avoid screens before bedtime. Blue light from electronic devices can throw your body clock out and make it tough for your mind to switch off. Skip the late-night Netflix and scrolling for at least two hours before you go to bed.
Have a hot bath or shower. Research shows bathing one to two hours before bed in water at 40-43°C can help you fall asleep 10 minutes faster. This helps us regulate our body temperature and produce the ‘sleepy’ hormone, melatonin.
Try guided meditations or sleep stories. If your mind goes straight to stressful thoughts when left to its own devices, a relaxing guided meditation or bedtime story could be a welcome distraction. This soothing background noise is designed specifically to help you fall asleep.

Take sick days when you need them

You’d likely be sent home from work if you were coughing and sneezing, so why should it be different when you’re having mental health issues? Sick days are there for when you’re feeling physically or mentally unwell.

The great news is mental health is becoming a less taboo topic in the workplace, especially following COVID-19. So if you’re not feeling mentally well enough to work, speak to your manager about taking some time to regroup. And don’t forget to speak up or ask for help if your workload or expectations are getting unmanageable.

If you’re having a tough time coping with work stress, talking to one of our counsellors might help. You can learn more about our counselling services here, or call 1300 364 277 to book an appointment in person, over the phone, or via video chat.

Discover surprising stats on how COVID-19 workplace changes have impacted our mental health in this article.

Study Results: Mental Health and Relationships

Posted on November 25, 2020December 12, 2024 by admin

It’s no secret that 2020 has been a difficult year for many of us. The COVID-19 outbreak and related stressors (e.g. social isolation and financial instability) have exacerbated pre-existing anxiety disorders and other mental health disorders.

Our mental health influences how we think, feel, and act every day. It can have a big impact on how we interact with the people in our lives – especially those closest to us.

New research from Relationships Australia reveals the importance of relationships in supporting and maintaining our mental health, and how mental ill-health can impact our intimate relationships.

This survey was conducted during COVID-19 and offers some interesting insights into the challenges during this tough time.

Sensing a Struggle

Promisingly, most people feel they can recognise a change in their mental health and that of their close companions.

A whopping 96% of people reported that they can either always (46%) or sometimes (50%) tell if their own mental health is suffering.

95% of people said they know when a close companion’s mental health is suffering. Although, only 29% claimed they could always notice this change, while the majority (66%) could sometimes notice it.

Discussing Mental Health

Interestingly, people reported feeling more comfortable discussing their mental health with their friends (72%) than their family (53%).

70% of people reported feeling very (30%) or somewhat (40%) comfortable talking about their mental health with their partner.

33% of respondents reported feeling comfortable talking about their mental health with their colleagues. This could indicate that the topic of mental health is becoming less taboo in workplaces.

People felt least comfortable discussing their mental health with their neighbours.

The results show we’re more comfortable discussing the mental health of those around us than of ourselves. While only 2% of people felt very comfortable discussing their own mental health with their neighbours, 21% felt very comfortable discussing their neighbours’ mental health.

6% of people reported feeling very comfortable discussing their own mental health with their colleagues, compared to 28% who felt very comfortable discussing their colleagues’ mental health with them. 13% of people reported feeling very comfortable talking about their own mental health with their family, while a whopping 49% felt very comfortable discussing their family’s mental health with them.

Overall, 99% of people reported feeling comfortable discussing other people’s mental health, showing that we are willing to offer an ear when needed, even if we may not be comfortable seeking support ourselves.

Impact of Mental Health on Relationships

Unsurprisingly, a huge 88% of participants agree that their mental health affects the health of their relationship, and 84% agree that their partner’s mental health affects the health of their relationship.

Despite this result, 50% of people reported they would not let the fact that another person was suffering mental ill-health discourage them from beginning or continuing a relationship with that person.

Seeking Help

The study revealed that we prefer to seek help in person. Most respondents (66%) reported they prefer to seek professional help in person, while only 19% stated they would seek professional help online.

11% of respondents said they would not seek help at all, and 9% said they would not know where to go for help.

A massive 64% of participants indicated they would seek help from the people closest to them. However, 45% said they felt uncomfortable or very uncomfortable talking to their close contacts about their mental health.

If you’re having a tough time, talking to a counsellor might help. Our counsellors can help you explore the issues that are causing concern and support you to find solutions. You can learn more about our counselling services here, or call us on 1300 364 277 to book an appointment.

You can read the full survey results here.

What to do When Therapy Isn’t Working

Posted on October 19, 2020December 12, 2024 by admin

Feel like therapy isn’t helping?

It can be frustrating to leave your counselling session feeling like you’re in the same place you were before you started. While you may not be seeing the progress you’d like, there are some things you can do to make sure you’re getting the most out of your sessions.

Here are some questions to ask yourself if therapy isn’t working for you.

Are you going regularly enough?

Change and healing take time and ongoing commitment, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t get results after one session. If you’re not going to counselling regularly (or as recommended by your counsellor), this could be why you’re not experiencing the benefits you’d hoped for.

Think of your mental health like your physical health. Going to a personal trainer once every few months isn’t going to get you where you want to be – and neither is going to therapy every now and then. Consistency is key.

Are you committing to the homework?

You only get out what you put in. If you’re not doing your part outside of the counselling session, you won’t see change as quickly.

Your counsellor might have given you ‘homework’ to do between sessions to help you practise new skills and/or coping strategies, or shift away from damaging behaviour patterns. This could be anything from journalling and breathing exercises to rehearsing important conversations. It can help to write down your homework immediately after each session so you don’t forget.

If you don’t feel like you’re getting enough homework, let your counsellor know you’d like more – and make sure you follow through. Applying these new recommended skills can help you accelerate progress and get closer to your goals.

Does your lifestyle support a healthy mind?

Similarly to the above, you can’t expect to see progress if you’re not making an effort to cope with your problems and support a positive wellbeing outside your sessions. Counselling is a safe space for you to explore your feelings and concerns and come up with ways to make things better. But it’s ultimately meant to empower you to get through tough times on your own.

Take a holistic approach to your wellbeing by looking at your lifestyle outside of the counselling room. Are you eating nutritious foods and moving your body every day? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you maintaining connections with supportive and loving people? All of these factors have an impact on your mental health and wellbeing.

Would you benefit from a different approach?

While you can’t expect a life-changing breakthrough in every single session, you should feel like you’re on the right track to resolving or coping with your issues.

There are lots of different types of therapy out there, and some approaches may not be right for you. If you feel like therapy isn’t working, it might be worth asking your counsellor if they can try a different approach or new strategies and techniques.

Do you need to be referred to a different counsellor?

If you feel like your sessions aren’t going anywhere or you don’t feel comfortable opening up with your current counsellor, it might be time to find someone new.

Counsellors know having the right fit is crucial for your progress. They want what’s best for you, and won’t take it personally if you ask to be referred to a different counsellor if you’re not quite clicking.

Learn how to make the most of counselling over video with these tips.

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