1300 364 277
Quick Exit
This button appears across the site. Press this button to exit the site immediately to nondescript link
Click to close or press

Coping with Social Anxiety as Restrictions Ease

Self-isolation had many of us feeling anxious. The walls seemed to close in a little more each day as memories of an active social life became more distant. But when some of Queensland’s venues reopened, not everyone jumped at the chance to get out and about.

After months of social distancing, it’s not unusual to feel anxious at the thought of kick-starting your social life.

Social anxiety or social phobia is a common issue in Australia, with around 10% of Aussies experiencing the condition at some point in their lives.

Whether you have social anxiety or you’re simply nervous about facing public places and crowds again, you’re not alone. We share some tips to help you prepare for life and its social interactions post-lockdown.

 

Ease into Your Social Life

Who says you have to head to your favourite spots straight away? Start small and socialise slowly to ease back into interacting with people outside your household.

Catch up with just one or two friends at a time. Dodge the crowds by avoiding popular venues. Schedule in social interactions with a few days – or weeks – in between.

Getting back to ‘normal’ is going to take some adjusting, so be kind with yourself and take all the time you need to build back your social confidence.

 

Challenge Negative Thoughts

A negative inner monologue can talk you out of enjoying yourself. If you have a tendency to lean toward the negative ‘what if’s and catastrophise situations, try to stop those thoughts in their tracks.

Challenge negative self-talk by asking yourself what evidence you have for thinking/feeling that way. For example, you might be thinking “What if I don’t know what to say?” or worrying you’ll be judged in some way. Ask yourself what evidence you have to believe that, and try to remember all the times you got through conversations just fine.

 

Do Relaxation Exercises Beforehand

For many people with social anxiety, the anticipation of an event or social interaction is worse than the reality.

If you’re feeling especially anxious before a social commitment, take a few minutes to calm your nervous system with some relaxation techniques. Deep-breathing exercises and guided meditation have been known to help in times of stress, but even something as simple as enjoying a cup of tea while listening to your favourite song may help you centre yourself before an anxiety-provoking situation.

 

Take a Cheat Sheet

Social anxiety can push your brain into fight-or-flight mode, which can lead to mind blanks and memory disruption.

Writing notes on your phone can be a great way to remember important things or conversation starters if you’re prone to blanking when put on the spot. When you start to feel nervous, just refer to the ‘cheat sheet’ in your pocket.

Your notes might include what your friend’s job is, their partner’s name, an interesting anecdote you heard, a great new Netflix series you’ve been binge-watching, or a news story you’d like to get their opinion on.

 

Remember Everyone is Self-Conscious

If you’re feeling a bit rusty in social situations, chances are your friends and colleagues are, too. It’s to be expected after months of social distancing.

Just remember that everyone gets self-conscious, and even the most confident people are probably also trying to find their footing and adapt in these uncertain times.

If you need some help coping, our counsellors can provide support over the phone, over Zoom, or in person. You can learn more about our counselling services and how to book an appointment here.

For more practical advice, you might find our tips to handle uncertainty during COVID-19 helpful.

How to Help a Friend with Anxiety

It’s hard to see someone you care about struggle – especially if you don’t know what to say or how to help.

Anxiety can be confusing for those who haven’t experienced it. You might wonder where their feelings are coming from. You might think they don’t have anything to worry about. You might wish they could just take a deep breath and calm down. But anxiety is a mental health condition that can’t be willed away or simply switched off.

Anxiety is the most common mental health condition in the country. Statistics show over a quarter of Australians will experience an anxiety disorder at some stage of their life.

Like with most mental health conditions, support from friends and family plays a significant role in managing symptoms. If you’re not sure how to be there for your friend or loved one, make a start with these tips on how to help someone through anxiety.

 

Learn About Anxiety

We all worry or feel anxious from time to time. These feelings are a normal response to stressful situations such as changing schools, losing a job, or fighting with a partner.

But for people with anxiety, it doesn’t have to take a stressful event to provoke these feelings. Anxiety causes worry and fear that something bad will happen most of the time. Your friend might feel stress and dread in everyday situations, and find it hard to cope with everyday life.

Anxiety is different for everyone, but uncontrollable and excessive worry is one of the main characteristics of this mental illness. If you want to better understand your friend’s experience, try gently asking them to help you understand how they’re feeling.

There are several different types of anxiety conditions, and the most common include:

  • Generalised anxiety disorder
  • Social anxiety disorder
  • Panic disorder
  • Agoraphobia
  • Specific phobias.

You can learn more about the different types of anxiety here.

 

Listen and Validate their Feelings

You don’t need firsthand experience with anxiety to understand that it’s a tough thing to go through. Let your friend know you’re there to support them, and acknowledge that their experience must be hard.

Some people with anxiety might be hesitant to open up because of the stigma around mental health. They might be embarrassed about how they’re feeling. Or maybe it just seems too hard to describe their anxiety to someone who isn’t familiar with the condition.

Make them feel comfortable to talk by letting them know you’re there to listen without judgement or questioning.

 

Avoid Dismissive Phrases

It can take a lot of bravery to open up about intense feelings and mental health. If your friend has built up the courage to talk about their anxiety, be mindful of how you respond.

Avoid using dismissive phrases that invalidate their feelings or make them feel judged or pressured. This might include:

  • “You’re overreacting”
  • “It’s all in your head”
  • “There’s nothing to be anxious about”
  • “There’s no point worrying”

While it may be tempting to try and cheer them up, this can invalidate their feelings and make them feel alone. If you’re not sure what to say, try simply listening and reassuring them that you’re there to help them through it.

 

Gently Challenge Their Thoughts

There might come a time when some gentle challenging can help your friend change their perception of a situation – without invalidating their anxiety.

For example, if they’re worried they’re going to perform poorly in their work presentation, remind them of past successes when they’ve done well. Ask them what the evidence is that their negative thought or fear is true, and if there’s a more positive, realistic way to look at the situation.

When approached with empathy and sensitivity, a bit of challenging can help stop a downward spiral of catastrophising in its tracks.

 

Do the Things You Enjoy

If every conversation you have is focused on their anxiety, you might find yourself feeling more like a therapist than a friend. Continue doing the things you love together, whether it’s going to the cinema, the beach, or a concert. Fun activities can be a welcome distraction from anxiety and rumination.

Research shows humour can help deal with stress and anxiety, so if your loved one is having a tough time, don’t underestimate the power of a good stand-up show or comedy film on Netflix.

 

Encourage Them to Seek Help

While it’s important to be there for loved ones, there’s only so much you can do to help. A mental health professional will have a deeper understanding of anxiety and be able to provide coping mechanisms for your friend’s specific circumstances.

Our professional counsellors are experienced with anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns. Learn more about our counselling services and how to book an appointment here.

 

Discover our tips to help a loved one with depression in this helpful article.