Category: Other

Do you lose your cool over what other people might consider to be minor hassles? Do you let being stuck in traffic, spilling your coffee, or a rude cashier ruin your day?

Constantly getting upset over little things can take a toll on our mental and physical health. A recent study found that older men who obsess over little, everyday annoyances tend to live shorter lives than those who let things go.

You’ve probably heard the saying “don’t make a mountain out of a molehill”. But even if we know we shouldn’t sweat the small stuff, it can be a hard habit to kick.

Learn how to stop worrying about the little things with these three steps.

Put things into perspective

Most things that happen to us have the potential to be as small or as big as we choose to make them.

If your knee-jerk reaction is to blow up over trivial things without thinking, it might help to take a step back and consider a new perspective.

Ask yourself:

• On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is it really?
• Will I still be upset in 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months or 5 years?
• Is this something within my control that requires a solution, or does it require moving on?
• Is it possible I’m blowing this out of proportion?

These questions can help you take back control and decide whether it’s worth your time and energy worrying.

You might also like to make a list of all the small things that regularly get under your skin. This could be anything from not finding a parking spot straight away to getting stuck behind people who walk slowly. Writing these down can help you explore why they bother you and how significant they really are in the grand scheme of life.

Acknowledge the good

We’re hard-wired to focus on the negatives, so we often miss all the good stuff going on around us. We’ll notice the one time things go wrong and take for granted all the times things went right.

Make a habit of looking for the good and celebrating little wins each day. Hit all the green lights on your way to work? Awesome! No line to get your morning coffee? Great! Having a good hair day? Good for you!

Consciously choosing to focus on things you’re grateful for can help stop negativity and rumination in its tracks. With all the good you’ve got going on, you might find it harder to care about small inconveniences.

You can learn more about the scientifically proven benefits of gratitude here.

Find coping strategies that work for you

Changing our behaviour patterns can take a lot of time and dedication. If you’re struggling to stop sweating the small stuff, it can be helpful to expand your stress-management toolkit with strategies that support your desired changes.

Some common strategies for coping with stress include:

• Breathing exercises – Pausing to take a few deep breaths can help slow your heart rate and reduce stress. Belly breathing in particular is thought to reduce tension and help you relax. You might like to try this type of breathing in bed before you go to sleep.
• Meditation – Meditating can help increase your self-awareness and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. Guided meditations are a good place to start.
• Journalling – Keeping a journal is a great way to explore your thoughts and feelings. It allows you to vent about your frustrations and release tension in a healthy way.
• Physical exercise – This is another healthy way to release tension and get some of those overwhelming emotions out. Exercise is known to reduce anxiety and depression and improve your mood and self-esteem. We should all be aiming for at least 30 minutes a day.
• Counselling – If you need help finding coping strategies or just want to talk, counselling could be a good option. Here, you can explore your emotions without judgement and find solutions in a supportive environment.

RAQ provides counselling for a range of issues including stress and anxiety. You can learn more about our counselling services here, or call 1300 364 277 to make an appointment.

If you found this helpful, you might like our blog post How to Stop Waiting to be Happy.

Counting your blessings does more than just put you in a good mood.

According to several studies, practising gratitude can have real benefits for mental and physical health. From reducing stress to improving immune function, introducing some gratitude could be the key to a happier and healthier life.

Discover some of the scientifically proven benefits of gratitude, and different ways you can acknowledge the good things in your life each day.

Gratitude makes us happier

How would you like to boost your long-term happiness by 10%? Research shows that keeping a daily gratitude journal can do just that. By simply writing down three things that went well each day, you can consciously pay attention to the positives in life, which can make you feel more positive about your life overall.

This concept is backed by science. When a person expresses or receives gratitude, the brain releases dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter. It contributes to feelings of pleasure and satisfaction as part of the reward system.

But gratitude doesn’t just boost positive emotions – it can also reduce the negatives.

“Gratitude blocks toxic emotions such as envy, resentment, regret and depression, which can destroy our happiness,” says Robert Emmons, Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and a leading scientific expert on the science of gratitude.

“A grateful mind will allow you to be less stressed and feel more positive emotions. Research suggests thinking of things you are grateful for has a positive impact on how you feel and behave,” explains licensed clinical psychologist and neurotherapist Catherine Jackson.

Gratitude makes us healthier

Apparently, grateful people are healthy people! Research shows those who practise gratitude experience fewer aches and pains, and report having better physical health than those who don’t.

A 2015 study found that gratitude and spiritual wellbeing are related to improved sleep quality, energy, self-efficacy, and lower cellular inflammation. Another study found that practising gratitude can lower blood pressure and improve immune function.

While research on the relationship between gratitude and physical health is still developing, existing studies show there is a connection. So whether it’s a placebo effect or not, practising gratitude could give you some physiological signs of better health.

How to Practise Gratitude

Keen to experience the benefits of gratitude for yourself? These are some of our favourite ways to practise gratitude each day. You can try one, all, or a combination of your favourites.

Keep a journal

Make a habit of writing down three things you’re grateful for at the end of each day. From seeing a cute dog to getting positive feedback from a colleague, they can be as small or big as you like. This is a great reminder than while every day may not be good, there is some good in every day.

Thank someone

Appreciate something someone did or said that had a positive impact on you? Make it known in person or via a letter or email. Studies show expressing gratitude can improve your relationships – both in your personal life and at work. Those who take time to show appreciation for their partner report feeling more positive toward the other person, and employees who receive recognition from their managers report feeling motivated to work harder.

Meditate

Use mindfulness meditation to focus on the things you’re grateful for in the present moment. This could be the warmth of the sun, the pleasant sound of silence, or the strength of your body. If you’re looking for a new morning ritual to start the day in a positive mindset, this could be just what you need.

If you’d like to speak to a professional about how you can adopt a more positive mindset, our counsellors can help. Learn about our confidential counselling service and how to book an appointment here.

For more advice, check out our tips to silence your inner critic.

Sick of the little voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough?

We’ve all experienced self-doubt at one time or another. It’s only human to have an internal critic – no matter how self-assured or ‘successful’ you are. But what happens when you become captive to the criticism and judgement you put on yourself?

A negative inner monologue can have serious impacts on your self-esteem, relationships, and life in general. It can eat away at your confidence and hold you back in big ways.

We wouldn’t accept this criticism from a friend – so why do we accept it from ourselves?

While you can’t simply switch it off, we hope these tips to quiet your inner critic help you deal with negative background noise in a healthy way.

Challenge negative thoughts

Our inner critic feeds on fear and often fails to consider the facts. Challenge negative thoughts with the truth. Ask yourself if these thoughts are backed by evidence, or if your mind is playing tricks on you out of fear. Then, try replacing unwarranted and overly judgemental thoughts with realistic ones.

For example, you might be heading home from a social interaction and are thinking “I’m so boring and never add to the conversation”. Replace this harmful self-talk with something more realistic, such as “I’m a good listener and my friends enjoy my company”.

An easy way to do this is to imagine a good friend coming to you with the issue, and what you’d say to comfort them. Try saying these things to yourself.

Identify the root cause

Go one step further and explore what fears and limiting beliefs are driving your inner critic. Where are these negative thoughts coming from? What’s really going on? What’s your inner critic trying to tell you?

Maybe you’re telling yourself you’re not good enough because you’ve been hurt in the past. Maybe you’re insecure about how you look because you’re comparing yourself to others.

Once you’ve identified the root cause of negative self-talk, you can start addressing these issues and work toward healing.

Focus on your strengths

If you have an overactive inner critic, you probably spend most of your time focusing on your perceived flaws or weaknesses. But what about all the great things that make you who you are?

Give yourself a confidence boost by focusing on your strengths and celebrating what’s great about you. You might make a list of all the things you like about yourself, the times in your life when you were really proud, and the nice things people have said about you in the past.

Write these down and keep them somewhere you’ll see them every day, such as next to your bed or on your bathroom mirror. These daily reminders can help boost your self-esteem and put you in a positive headspace.

Rethink how you see others

If you catch yourself being critical and judgemental of others, that toxicity is sure to seep into your self-talk, too. Negative thoughts of any kind can breed a nasty inner monologue that can be harmful for you and those around you.

Reconsider how you think about other people, and train yourself to quit criticising and focus on the positives. Once you start celebrating others, you might find celebrating yourself comes more naturally.

If you’d like some support addressing issues around negative self-talk and building self-esteem, our experienced counsellors can help. Learn more about our counselling services and how to book an appointment here.