My partner needs counselling but won't go. What do I do?

Trying to convince someone to do something they don’t want to do may cause them to dig their heels in and resist your best efforts. A tip for influencing your partner in a respectful and more effective way is to use the DARN principle:-

Desire – what is it that they want?

Ability – what are they able to do right now?

Reason – what is the reason for attending the course / counselling?

Need – how could it help to get their needs met? (E.g. a need may be for a more satisfying and intimate relationship)

DARN will sound less like giving advice to your partner, and more like gentle conversation.

Learn about what your partner wants, and their unmet needs. Then explore with them how the counselling or course may benefit them. This approach may increase their motivation to attend counselling or the course but it might also be helpful to consider your needs and coping. 

If you are in need of support please feel to contact 1300 364 277