Most abusers state they are sorry following an abusive episode, in particular when they have committed physical or emotional abuse. This remorse is part of a pattern of violence. During this phase they may promise it will never happen again, promise to get help, give gifts and do or promise almost anything to ‘get back to normal’. Once the apology is accepted or the relationship returns to ‘normal’, the pattern of abuse and violence begins again.
People who are truly sorry and serious about changing their behaviour will take full responsibility for that behaviour, seek help and actively work on changing that behaviour. Promising to do so and putting off appointments and actions for real change is not taking responsibility.