Learn about how to make changes to improve your relationship.

In long-term relationships, we often assume we know all there is to know about our partners. But people change. It is very easy to lose that connection, and not know where our partner is at now, or who they are now. In order to maintain a connection or to re-establish one, with your partner, you could:

  • take time to care for your relationship
  • look at what is happening in the relationship
  • stay curious (but respectful) about each other

listen, and communicate your needs (and don't wait for your partner to try to guess what is going on with you).

How can I change my relationship?

Ask yourself how you would like your relationship to be different. If you know, then commit yourself to making the changes you need to make. One small change can sometimes make a difference to a lot of big things. Relationships need to be looked after. Relationships need both people to be committed and available for the relationship.

Here are some ways that you can nurture your relationship

  • reunite at the end of the day and talk for 10 minutes
  • greet each other
  • spend time alone together
  • develop common interests
  • really listen, and try to understand each other
  • tell your partner when you are unhappy about something
  • tell your partner when you are happy about something
  • celebrate with your partner
  • try to find solutions that are OK for both of you
  • express affection
  • notice the small attempts by your partner for connection.

What can I do to improve my relationship?

There are many ways that you can personally help to improve your relationship:

  • be supportive; do not make judgements when your partner makes mistakes, or does things differently from how you would do them
  • be there for each other, in the good and the not so good times
  • ask for help when you cannot cope with a situation
  • share the load - agree on who will do what in the household
  • offer to do what you like the most
  • allow yourself the right to put up your feet and relax
  • make time specifically for yourself - soak in a bath, read, listen to music, talk on the phone to friends, exercise
  • express your feelings honestly
  • be caring and sharing
  • respect and accept your differences and your similarities
  • notice when your partner attempts to connect with you
  • show appreciation when your partner does something
  • listen attentively
  • take responsibility for your actions.