Many people use drugs and alcohol and do not physically or emotionally abuse the people around them. Many people who don’t use drugs and/or alcohol choose to physically or emotionally abuse the people around them. In fact, alcohol and drugs are often used by abusers as an excuse for their behaviour or even a reason to engage in that behaviour. While the use of alcohol and drugs can often make the violence more serious, it does not cause it.
The use of power and control in a relationship, whether it be physical or emotional is a choice. It is a choice made by one person to use power and control over another. Should the use of drugs or alcohol increase the likelihood of that person being physically or emotionally abusive, or increase the severity of that abuse, that person is responsible for making the choice not to drink alcohol or use drugs.